Ass skin for a friend.
Sturgeon general
"Ayyyy!"
"B!"
"See?"
Thought you might find that a bit cheeky
He wasn’t very cheeky about it
Because it saw the salad dressing.
When the punchline becomes apparent.
I was visiting my folks, and decided to take em out to dinner when Ma got home. We go for a feed, all is well. I'm standing up at the end of the table, leaning on its edge with me phone out as Ma was organising herself. Da came back from the loo, and asked me what I was doing on me phone.
"Checking me balance." I replied, showing him my bank app. I had just been paid and was moving money around to savings and such, after paying for dinner by phone NFC.
Without warning he gives me a good hip n shoulder, not hard enough to send me flying but enough to shift me a bit.
"Ya balance looks shit, boy."
He smirks at me as Ma groans audibly. Cheeky old bugger.
This is why he's going in a crooked retirement home you always see on the News.
My daughter was having some trouble eating pasta with her fork tonight, so I said to her that it was okay to eat with her fingers. "No," she said with a cheeky grin. "Eat with mouth."
"If we stick together we can stop this shit!"
My wife comments, "She has a big butt for a runner." I follow with, "The short distance runners have bigger butts, the longer distance runners don't. They run their ass off."
Miss3: mummy I want shake shake song (Taylor Swift - shake it off.
Mummy: and mummy wants her breakfast first miss3.
Miss3: and I want a million dollars mummy.
Cheeky little madam!
”You’re two cheeky!” I replied
My car was dirty so I decided at the weekend I would wash the car with my youngest son.
After only 5 minutes the cheeky bastard asked if we could use a sponge instead.
Listen up, Cheeky Chops, or you won't hear the joke!
Does it mean you rectum?
A smart ass doctor
...that before I can run, I need to learn to March first.
It was pretty cheeky.
Looks like the Portland fire is meeting up with the Eastern oregon fire, they're going on a date...it's going to be lit...
looks at both of them with a cheeky grin to see if they were listening
Need a fintastic fish pun for a Christmas card. Tunat hold back, be as cheeky as you can be.
Cheeky little guy, he didn't even accept my £10 note.
Walked right over it, I can't stand that level of arrogance.
The cheeky sod didn't even say thank you.
... she asked me, "are any hot?"
I said, "Yes, Mercury and Venus are hot because they are so close to the sun."
She asked, "Are any cold?"
"Yes, the ones outside our orbit are cold. Mars, Jupiter and so on."
"What color are they?", she asked...
"Well, the Earth is blue and green, Mars is red because of iron, Jupiter has a cool red spot..."
"What color is Uranus?"
.... .... ....
"It's brown, and very windy."
I might have assthma, butt it could be type two diabooties. I hope these puns aren't bumming you out, they're just for the crack. I don't mean to be cheeky, although I might be scraping the bottom of the barrel. Butt some of them are easy to get behind
You don't have to be anal about it, its not like you're the butt of the joke. I mean anusthing is possible, I think I'm getting to the rear end of these puns now.
It's asstounding how long this is lasting. I mean I don't want to half-ass it. Okay, I'll leave out the back door, but its so dark out, I can even see the full moon!
Just kidding I'm back.... side. Okay okay I'll bring it to a robust end. It's all behind me now.
Kid walks into work with a slick new trim and I ask him "you get a hair cut?" he quickly turned around with a cheeky grin and said "nah, I got all of them cut!"
God knows how long he was waiting to say that
Me: what made you decide to watch that movie (castle in the sky)
Son: My brain.
Me internally: you cheeky fucking bastard.
My gran fell asleep whilst eating piri piri chicken...
...she had a cheeky nan dose!
She told me she loves my butt
So I asked her: "Butt why?"
"Because it's so cheeky!" She answered.
I'm so proud :')
My gf and I occasionally enjoy a cheeky Disney movie.
Tonight I asked 'which Disney Princess do you think gets the best reception? '
Scowl
Me 'Arial'
Nothing but rolled eyes and breathing through the nose chuckles
My Dad's been having a lot of trouble with a German Shepherd that's been taking a shit on his garden every morning. This morning the cheeky bugger even brought his dog with him.
He is on his annual week long fishing trip and I wasnt able to go this year so he's been sending me pictures of some of his better fish. He sends me a pic of a nice 4lbs Largemouth Bass with a cheeky smile. So I call and I ask him what he caught it on and without any delay and being completely serious..."a hook"...I sigh and just hang up on him haha
