What is Goofy's favorite part of the egg?

"A yolk"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bmusser_01
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2021
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What is Goofy's favorite novel?

The Adventures of Hyuck-leberry Finn

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/mudnuka
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2021
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Who's Goofy's favorite character from classic American Literature?

Hyuck-lberry Finn

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skysea_
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
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What Does Russian Goofy Eat?


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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pfheonix
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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Mickey to Goofy: My knee hurts!

Goofy: Which one?

Mickey: Disney!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Emil_Jorgensen05
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
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Who is Goofy's favorite actress ?

Selma Hyuck

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2020
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If Goofy was a country singer, what would his name be?

Gawrsh Brooks

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Goofy dadjokes Mickey


Saw this on /r/funny figured you guys might like it

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ‘€︎ u/Oreo_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
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My dad's corny jokes

My dad has this habit of pretending he didn't hear what you said, and then "repeating" it. Like if I said I was going to see an art show, he'll say, "You're going to a FART show? I had no idea you'd have any interest in that!" Lots of jokes along those lines, amongst others.

When I was younger I would laugh because he was kinda funny, and also to make him happy, but as I've gotten older I laugh not JUST because he's funny (in a corny way) but because the fact he still makes these jokes makes me so happy and really warms my heart. My mom is physically disabled, my dad has a bunch of health issues, we've all suffered terribly at times because of all this illness. And no matter how bad it gets, my dad is always there trying his hardest to put a smile on other people's faces and to lighten the mood a bit with his jokes. I've always been the type of girl to mope and be depressed when things are hard, but as I've gotten older I've tried to be more like my old man because I think it's something really special and admirable and selfless about stepping outside of your own negativity to give others something to laugh at or smile about. My dad is such a fuckin hero, I love him so much, and I can't imagine how unbearable this world would seem at times without him trying to make us all laugh.

So to all you dads telling your corny dad jokes, don't ever stop. Your kids and wife might groan or roll their eyes, but inside they love their corny old man and appreciate the goofy puns and fart jokes you tell!

πŸ‘︎ 72
πŸ‘€︎ u/Osusanna
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2013
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I just killed the biggest mouse I’ve ever seen.

And got a lifetime ban from Disneyland.

πŸ‘︎ 56
πŸ‘€︎ u/coot32
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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Company password

During a recent password audit by a company, it was found that an employee was using the following password:


When asked why they had such a long password, the employee rolled their eyes and said "Hello! It has to be at least 8 characters and include at least one capital!"

πŸ‘︎ 581
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatsAndIT
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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You know, out West they're started to ban those big round bales of hay you see in that field over there..

.... The cows aren't getting three square meals a day.

(Also, to those who tell dad jokes at every opportunity, I really appreciate you. As a person who grew up without the joy of a pops embarrassing me with terrible jokes, I was always bewildered by the stereotype. Recently though, I've been taking a microeconomics course I was dreading having to take and my professor has "big econ dad" energy. There's a joke every few minutes in his lectures and they give me the energy to keep going. You are appreciated. Even if your kids, spouse, partner, friends, strangers groan at you, undoubtedly someone out there really appreciates your goofiness).

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ‘€︎ u/plantborb
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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Mickey Mouse is divorcing Minnie !

But the judge tells him...

" I'm sorry Mickey.. But I can't grant you a divorce just because you say your wife is a little weird."

Mickey says..

" I didn't say she was a little weird... I said she was Fucking Goofy !"

πŸ‘︎ 35
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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A saltwater crocodile can grow up to 20 feet...

But most just have 4.

πŸ‘︎ 74
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Invader_Kilz
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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6 was afraid of 7 because 7 8 9. But why did 7 eat 9?

It heard you were supposed to have three squared meals a day.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
πŸ‘€︎ u/mathiasthewise
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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Mickey Mouse arrested for identity theft

He was charged with being Goofy

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/Payasin70
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2020
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The secret service...

... isn't allowed to yell "Get down!" anymore when the president is about to be attacked. Now they have to yell "Donald, duck!"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anon_777
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
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So Mickey, you want to divorce Minnie because she's...really silly?

No. Because's she's fucking Goofy!

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2020
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What do you call a bunch of whales playing instruments?

An orca-stra.

πŸ‘︎ 78
πŸ‘€︎ u/proudbastionmain
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2018
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Help with puns on biblical figures

I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tesla_pasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Where on your body is Mickey Mouse closest to?

This knee.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/neloc1
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2019
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We had an IDEA...

Back a few decades, I was working in a program with a local college in the Middle East.

The name of the program for ExPats has the clever acronym of "IDEA" (hey, I said it was clever); which stands for "Inter-Departmental Educational Adjunct". It's interdepartmental because my particular specialty not only covers field geology but also paleontology and a bit of archeology thrown in for good measure. Everyone hopes to have a good IDEA...


Well, we saddle up and head for the Dune Sea out in the west of the country, where the Precambrian, Cambrian, Silurian, Cretaceous, Pliocene, Pleistocene, and Holocene crop out and access is relatively easy and non-injurious.

Well, we caravan out, some 30 Land Cruisers, Nissan patrol, and the odd Mitsubishi Galloper strong. We all get our maps, compasses and split up into 5 or 6 special interest groups ("SIG's"); where each IDEA has his own GPS and LIDAR laser ranging apparatus. Reason being, that there are very few benchmarks out in the desert, and even those are constantly at the mercy of the shifting and ever-blowing sands.

Since we're split into groups and at any one time, ranging up to and including some 50 km2, when a real find is located, a device called the "DIME" (Digital-Interface Monitor Encoder) is attached and programmed into the GPS for location later; it is a digital sort of low-frequency transponder, developed from technology used by offshore drillers and jacket setters where benchmarks are even more transitory.

The way it works is rather simple. When something is to be marked for later retrieval, a series of wooden posts are pounded in a triangular manner around the find and the DIME is set, programmed with the GPS and attached to one or more of the posts.

That's the theory, at least.

Everything works well, especially all the hardened electronics and computer gizmos, but attaching the DIME to the stakes is the real problem. It can't be nailed, screwed or fastened with any sort of metal contrivance as that farkles the magnetic field and causes all sorts of goofy spurious signals. Zip ties don't last long in the heat and duct tape is right out. Many sites have been lost to the shifting sands this way.

Velcro doesn't work too well, as the sand fills the hooks of the receiving piece of velcro and soon renders it useless. String or fishing line work, but that's temporary (they melt). Glue or mastic are out as these are supposed to be temporary. Even plastic sleeves don't work due to the heat out

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rocknocker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2019
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My girlfriend swore up and down she could learn to orgasm by smelling, hearing or tasting something yummy.

Goofy girl! After 6 months of trying, she finally came to her senses.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2019
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Mickey Mouse is in a divorce court.

The judge asked, "So you want to divorce your wife because she's crazy?"

Mickey went, "I think what you heard me say was that she's fucking Goofy!"

πŸ‘︎ 119
πŸ‘€︎ u/gt0t
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2018
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What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you!

From my goofy coworker... :)

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ‘€︎ u/con-brown
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2019
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Why did Mickey Mouse need a club?

To make Donald Duck.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ‘€︎ u/ademnus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2016
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Request for puns

Hi guys, I have a friend who has recently has surgery on her back to remove some cysts. I'm going to give her a get well card and I want to put as many back/cyst/surgery/recovery/etc. related puns or general sayings as I can for a goofy card that will hopefully give her some chuckles.

E.g. "You're like a CYSTer to me", "Hope you get BACK to being well soon", "You've been through enough PUNishment". Etc.

Help me Reddit you're my only hope. :)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oneofakindof
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2015
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Reposted Dadjoke IRL

At the checkout at Sear's, this kinda goofy older gentelman was ringing me up and he was walking me through all the prompts on how to slide my card, press OK, etc. He finally jokes to turn to the left then turn to the right.

I tell him, " You know, I used to be addicted to the Hokey Pokey... but I turned myself around." He erupted with a guffaw as if it was the funniest he had heard all day.

πŸ‘︎ 259
πŸ‘€︎ u/whittler
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2014
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This page brings back fond memories for me. (Dad joke inside as well)

My dad had a real goofy and dadly sense of humor. He past a way about 4 years ago but all the jokes here remind me of the ones he used to make. I'm smiling so hard as I go through these.

One of my favorites was the mole joke: One day a house near a molehill was making pancakes. Daddy mole comes up, sniffs, and says,"I smell pancakes." Mamma mole pops up next to him, sniffs, and says I smell pancakes too!" Baby mole hears his parents but can't get past their rear ends. So he says,"All I smell is molasses!"

7 year old me was in tears every time!

πŸ‘︎ 77
πŸ‘€︎ u/lets_improve_us
πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2013
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Girlfriend got me with this Disney Classic

Her "What dog walks on two legs?"

Me "uhhh...?"

Her "Goofy! What mouse walks on two legs?"

Me "uhmm.."

Her "Mickey! What duck walks on two legs?"

Me "Donald!"

Her "All of them!"

πŸ‘︎ 290
πŸ‘€︎ u/FrankieAce
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2014
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Kid in class realizes caught in a dad joke for years.

I am currently in a intercultural communication class in college. Because its the beginning of the semester we always have to do some goofy activity and because the class is about culture everyone would tell something interesting about theirs. So this little Asian kid in class starts talking about customs growing up. He says how when he was little he remembers his father farting, and his dad asking why he is not clapping "in this culture you clap after your father farts." The whole time hes telling this I am thinking...no way...this dad is a savage. I kind of got a feeling he was starting to pick up on it, he started talking slow and thinking about it. Long story short: he clapped after his dad farted presumably for years, practicing their culture. What do you think?

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ‘€︎ u/redguypubes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2015
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Dadjoked my co-worker today

I'm wearing a Thundercats t shirt, and right before i left, this exchange took place

"Is that a Thundercats shirt?"

pulls off safety vest to reveal awesome Thundercats shirt

"That is an awesome Thundercats shirt. You're pretty young though, wouldn't have thought you'd have seen it on tv"

"Yeah, I just caught the tail end of it."

cracks goofy smile

He just chuckled and facepalmed then walked away.

I've used this one many times, never gets old.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wigwam2323
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2016
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1001 Dad Jokes

My brother's wife recently gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, and being a new father, my brother and dad sat down to talk. I heard my brother expressing his concerns about being a new father, and all the challenges it would bring. My dad just smiled and put his hand on my brother's shoulder, pulling out a big, goofy colored book titled '1001 Dad Jokes.' With this, my brother began to tear up. He looked at my dad and said "Dad...I'm honored." My dad, with some tears of pride in his eyes as well sniffled and said...

"Hi honored, I'm Dad."

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatOneRussian
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2013
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Another shameless Dad Pun...

Me: "Yea, it was intense"

Dad: "Like the indians..." flahes goofy smile in anticipation for laughs

πŸ‘︎ 36
πŸ‘€︎ u/CommonStock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2013
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Troubleshooting some VPN issues at work...

My coworker asked if he could borrow my iPhone to use the hotspot. I noticed I needed to change my password since I haven't updated it in awhile.

> Me: What should my password be?

>Coworker: I don't know make it something goofy. It doesn't matter.

>Me: (updates password) Alright, here you go. Let me know when you are done.

>Coworker: (After looking at the phone) Seriously...?

Password - somethinggoofy

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/theintention
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
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He dragged me out of the apartment for that pun.

Not a dad, but this is in line with it all.
It was a party around Halloween-time, but not specifically a Halloween party. Things were wrapping up, people were heading out and my roommates were saying goodbye.

They were doing some goofy ass handshake, bumping fists, slapping, all that dumb shit.

While they're wasting time, I look on the table and see various Halloween decorations, including body parts made out of Jell-O. They're slightly jiggling, as all Jell-O molds seem to do.

I quietly mumble "Hehe... handshake."

The host of the party looks at me and says "Are you making fun of our hand shake?"

Without saying anything else, I reach over to the table, pick up the plate the Jell-O zombie hand is on, hold it close to his face, wiggle it back and forth and repeat "Hand shake".

He grabs me by the back of my shirt and drags me out of the apartment. I thought it was funny.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ‘€︎ u/M3wThr33
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2013
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Fridge Problems

Recently, my mother started smelling a coolant leak from our refridgerator. She called the repair man and he started work. Several hours later, he had his diagnosis, and it wasn't good. The whole machine was going to need to be replaced. Just as he was finishing up, my dad walked in. My dad asked the repair man what the damages were, and he explained that the coolant intake had sprung a leak. The whole unit was sealed, and air was now getting in and contaminating the entire system. The repair costs of the fridge would be about the same as getting a new one. My dad just sighed and looked at his hands.

Dad: "It sucks." He looked at the repair man with a goofy grin on his face. The repair man thought for a moment before answering.

Repair man: "Yeah... it does suck." Then both men cracked up laughing.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ‘€︎ u/Bluefoot_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2014
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Daughter got me...

Been a fan of this sub for nearly a year but I never thought I'd post here, then tonight my nine year old daughter left me speechless because she actually turned this classic around on me.

Laying on the couch, she hugged my foot. Me: "You're goofy" Her: "Last time I checked, my name was not 'Goofy' "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asklamar
πŸ“…︎ Jan 08 2015
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Not sure if this is a dad joke or not.

I heard this joke a while ago, and I'm not sure if its at the dad joke level of corniness. Here it is:

Two nuns are driving, when suddenly, a vampire appears on the front of the road.

One nun says to the other "Quick, show 'em your cross!"

The other nun shouts out the window "Get off the road ye goofy bastard!"

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ‘€︎ u/Arty6060
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2013
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Mickey mouse failed to divorce with Minnie mouse because the judges said β€œyou can’t just divorce with someone for being stupid” to which Mickey said:

β€œI didn’t say she was stupid, I said she was fucking Goofy”

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ‘€︎ u/c0olzero
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2020
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Why was Mickey mad at Minnie

Because she was fucking goofy.

πŸ‘︎ 39
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatcity
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2019
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So Mickey Mouse went to file for divorce from Minnie..

The judge said, "I can't approve the divorce just because you think your wife is crazy."

Mickey says, "I didn't say she was crazy, I said she was fucking goofy."

Edit: autocowrecks

πŸ‘︎ 161
πŸ‘€︎ u/FilthyMcnasty87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2015
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Why did Mickey divorce Minnie?

Because she was fucking Goofy.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/danbengal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2018
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Judge told Mickey he couldn't divorce Minnie for being silly...

Mickey said "I didn't say she was silly. I said she was fucking Goofy!"

πŸ‘︎ 26
πŸ‘€︎ u/SgtMac02
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2017
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