What do you call a congested opera singer?

A snotty Pavarotti!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/scardeal
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2019
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I think I have a cold on Christmas

Hopefully that doesn’t put my on Santa’s snotty list.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/worleste000
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2018
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Been sick lately, went to the doc yesterday. Got my wife good later.

I picked up a head cold from my toddler and was worried about it progressing to something worse. Texted my doc, and he said to come in ASAP. That afternoon, he prescribed for me some cough meds, and a nasal steroid to help with the blockage.

I get home, and after putting the still-snotty kiddo to bed, my wife and I retreated to the boudoir to talk and relax. She wanted to know what Doc prescribed. She gave me the perfect setup for a dad joke.

Me: Oh, some pearls and codeine for the cough, and a steroid spray for my nose.

Wife: Where is it?

Me: (pointing at nose) It's right here in the middle of my face.

She laughed. Good thing we were far enough away we didn't wake up the kid.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/twilightmoons
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
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While watching TV with the wife...

A sinus medicine commercial comes on. A blob of snot keeps telling a guy "I'm gonna follow you to work, it's burrito day." The guy says, "no, I took Brand X sinus meds. You're staying home today."

I look at the wife and say, "the guy would probably have taken him if he wasn't so snotty about it."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jimrob4
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
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