What do you call a bee that is from the United States
Was your waist the 16th president of the United States?
...cause those hips don’t lie
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
What do you say to The President Of The United States when he leaves abruptly?
BREAKING: The United States, after mistaking it for an Iranian submarine, has struck a utility submarine with an underwater torpedo that was en route to displace the shipping carrier blocking the Suez Canal, killing all 169 aboard
Now that Donald Trump is no longer President, the United States is experiencing post-nut clarity.
Donald Trump is currently organizing pigeons against the united states government.
What did the Commanding General of the United States Army say after having his budget approved?
Why does the norway navy have bar codes on the sides of its ships.
So when they come back to port they can Scandinavian.
Why does the Swedish Navy put barcodes on all of their ships?
The United States Postal Service got jokes
Reflecting on Prince Philip death, I was chatting with the Mrs and I said, I know I’m getting a little older, but I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle. If that ever happens, just pull the plug.
She got up, unplugged my laptop and threw out my beer….
EDIT: Thanks for the kind awards... My first ever! ❤️
What unit of measure do pirates use?
Watt is the unit of power?
News broke today that due to salmonella concerns, there is a national recall on just about every type of onion in the united states...
To be honest, I'm not shedding any tears over it.
What do you call a detective dog's party held in the United Arab Emirates?
My 8 year old sons joke today. What’s a girls favorite unit of measurement?
What's the difference between the United States and United Kingdom
What do you call a Navy Seal with a prolapsed rectum?
I heard that France's Navy is a nice place.
They have a lot of FrenchShips.
What state in the US drinks the smallest cans of soda?
There will be point in the future when Canada will take over the world.
And then you will all be sorry.
TIL The 1st United States Volunteer Cavalry, one of three such regiments raised in 1898 for the Spanish–American War, had dogs to go with them...
The were The Ruff Riders.
What was the 16th president of the United States told before the dinner party?
Missouri has the most bordering states (8, tied with tennessee) out of any of the 50 United States of America. You know what they say, Missouri loves company.
Why do the Norwegian navy men have barcodes on them?
So they can Scandanavian.
If you can't appreciate this, please furgive me
My 8 year old has created a new unit of measument...
She just picked up the squeeze ketchup and said, "I only need one fart of ketchup." She gives the bottle a single squeeze and gets her "one fart."
My friend tried to ride his horse from Maine to the Southwestern United States for a type of bean but was hit by an older Ford...
53 states would make us indivisible
I'm not usually secretive when it comes to base units.
But there is one that makes me KG.
The Swedish navy have labelled all their vessels with giant barcodes,
So when they return to port they can scan de navy in.......
Last time I flew my plane a Navy pilot checked his speed right after me. Ground said he was doing 761 mph.
Knot gonna lie I think he was mach-ing me.
The United States is a cancer.
Its birthday is July 4th.
If you rearrange the letters of MAILMEN
Why is it spelled "Color" in the US but "Colour" in Britain?
Because after the revolutionary war, the freed United States told Britain defiantly, "We're getting rid of you".
What can jump higher, the empire state building or a kangaroo
The kangaroo cause the empire state building can't jump
I hear the United States is well stocked for a bird-of-prey flu epidemic...
There are plenty of ill eagle drugs for just such emergency.
Why does the Norwegian Navy put bar codes on the sides of their ships?
So when they get back to port they can Scandinavian!
Why does the Norwegian navy put barcodes on their ships?
So they can Scandinavian!
Why does the Norwegian navy have bar codes on the side of their ships?
So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian
Guys, today was my first day in the navy and I felt so lost!
What was the 16th president of the United States told before a dinner party?
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