A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender asks, "Hey, what's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Argh, I've got a Bounty on me head!"
Today I learned that if a canoe turns upside down in the water, you can safely wear it on your head.
My wife told me she’ll slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer.
I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
A massive telescope dropped on my head yesterday....
I was seeing stars all night.
I put the punchline to this joke on Mr.Jackman's head.
If you don't get it, joke's on Hugh.
I have been reading some history on the French revolution and found out what happened to Louis XVI's head
My girlfriend was sad, so I asked her who my favorite singer is and then placed my head on her chest
I told her Michael Boob-lay
She wasn’t as sad anymore (or much sadder since she realized how dumb the person she’s dating is). Happy new year everybody
I just returned from my MIL's funeral, she was hit on the head during a tennis match & killed
It was a lovely service...
There’s a Bounty on my head [X-Post: r/IndiaSocial]
A book just fell on my head
I only have my shelf to blame.
If your boat flips you can wear it on your head.
What do snowmen wear on their heads?
A man walks in to a doctors with a strawberry growing on his head.
Doctor: Would you like some cream for that?
What do you call a man with a seagull perched on his head?
The lift is from a company named Schindler...so it’s Schindler’s Lift...is this set up as pun on the classic film Schindler’s List? My head is spinning
If you hit your head on a coffeemaker
Once the home intruder entered our bedroom, my wife grabbed a bottle of perfume and hit him on the head.
She thought that might knock some scents into him.
While swimming around, a fish hits its head on a wall and then yells out...
I went to the zoo and saw 2 massive hairy apes, covered in cream and cherries on their heads..
Apparently they were Meringue-utans.
What do you call a man with gravy and potatoes on his head?
What do you call a T-Rex with a bump on its head ?
What do you call a woman balancing a pint of beer on her head playing pool?
What do meth heads leave on your voicemail?
I couldn't undo the buttons on my jumper, so I tried pulling it over my head but got it stuck.
I'm in the hospital now waiting to see a cardyologist.
What flower does everyone have on their head?
A salesman said his windows were unbreakable, so I punched one. That hurt, but not nearly as much as the window falling off the display and landing on my head. Unfortunately I can't sue...
...they were advertised as double-pain windows after all.
What was written on the back of Mike Pence’s head?
What’s green, fuzzy, and would kill you if it fell out of a tree on to your head?
What did Giuseppe put on his bruised head?
Sat at the PC gaming last night and a bloody book hit me on the head!
I only have my shelf to blame!
Daughter asked, “Why am I named Rose?” Its because a rose landed on you shortly after you were born. My other daughter asked, “ Why am I named Daisy?” It is because a daisy landed on your head after you were born.
My son asked, “ Why is my name Richard?”
I've just bought a bottle of head lice treatment but there's no instructions on how to use it.
It's left me scratching my head to be honest.
Saw an accident at a farm and then noticed two young sheep charging there with sirens on their heads.
They were the lamb-ulance
What do you call a man with a car on his head?
An ambulance! He's got a car on his head!
I hit my head on a light bulb today, but it’s okay.
What makes music on your head?
I was walking in a parking lot and tripped. I hit my head on a car.
What did the fish say when it hit its head on the concrete wall?
The other day I saw a duck standing on top of another duck’s head.
I have a problem where I keep putting footwear on the sides of my head.
What do you call a man with a paper bag on his head?
My boat flipped over during a storm, so I decided to wear it on my head. After all...
Girlfriend, my dog and I went hiking today and on the way up the mountain there was a big bee buzzing around my head.
So I said “Bee-gone” and my girlfriend shook her head. Best feeling ever.
I had a book fall on my head today,
I only have my shelf to blame.
A book fell on my head today.
A book fell on my head...
I only have my shelf to blame
My wife said that if I don't get off the computer she'll slam my head on the keyboard...
...but I think she's jokinfjreoiwjrtwe4to8rkljreun8f4ny84c8y4t58lym4wthylmhawt4mylt4amlathnatyn
My wife told me she's slam my head on the keyboard if I don't get off the computer !
Don't worry guys, I think she's jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf
A book just fell on my head.
I only have my shelf to blame.
A pirate walks into a bar with a paper towel on his head. The bartender says, "What's with the paper towel?"
The pirate says, "Arrr! I've got a Bounty on me head!"
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