Why do managers never go bowling with their employees?
Because they are afraid of them striking
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︎ Feb 10 2021
I arrived early to the restaurant. The manager said do you mind waiting a bit? I said no.
Good, he said. Take these drinks to table nine.
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︎ Jan 08 2021
Why can you never trust a hedgefund managers fashion advice?
They claim to love shorts but are always seen in pants.
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︎ Feb 04 2021
My manager gave me a disappointed look when he saw my doodle.
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︎ Nov 23 2020
What do you call a ghost asking for the manager?
I donโt know what to call it!!!! It keeps s-Karen me!!!!
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︎ Dec 17 2020
I was working behind the bar today when two guys came in and tried to pay with a couple of counterfeit ยฃ10 notes. When I told the manager, he asked what they looked like..
โLike ยฃ10 notesโ I told him
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︎ Dec 15 2020
Count Dracula is a terrible project manager...
... He always avoid the stakeholders.
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︎ Nov 19 2020
What do you call a car that wants to speak to the manager
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︎ Nov 20 2020
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︎ Nov 11 2020
Two branch managers
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︎ Jul 31 2020
Cowboy goes in to a hotel and says a single room and a wardrobe for my horse. Your horse sir the manager replied!
Yes my horse is a Mustang and it mustang somewhere!
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︎ Sep 29 2020
I got pizza for everyone the day I started my new job as manager...
It was my first order of business
๐︎ 125
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︎ Jun 28 2020
A good project manager makes updates.
A bad project manager makes up dates.
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︎ Sep 03 2020
Just heard a grocery store manager telling off a young guy on the checkout. โWhyโd you ask that woman with kids for ID? What was she buying?โ
๐︎ 4
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︎ Sep 19 2020
My daughter and I went to the grocery store yesterday, and we were amazed by the quality of the produce. We spoke with the Department Manager and offered to buy all of their Romaine
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︎ Aug 11 2020
Did you hear a CVS manager had to pee in the forest?
He used the toilet-trees.
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︎ Aug 10 2020
What did the ninja delivery boy say to the office manager when he was delivering an unexpected order of pens, pencils, and paper goods?
๐︎ 3
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I just got promoted to general manager at the aquarium!
I'm going to have a corner offish and everything!
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︎ May 27 2020
What does a manager in New England and a fish have in common?
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︎ Jul 12 2020
What happened to the bank manager who was all by himself?
๐︎ 8
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︎ May 18 2020
Why did the safety manager insist that a big pile of LSD be removed immediately from the factory floor?
He felt it was a real tripping hazard.
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︎ Mar 20 2020
Bakery Manager: So why do you want a job here and what qualifications do you have
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︎ Jan 14 2020
Manager: "Why would you make a good waiter at my restaurant?"
Me: "I bring a lot to the table."
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︎ Jan 27 2020
Vampires make great project managers
They always try to keep stake holders happy
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︎ Feb 13 2020
What did the manager at the animation studio say when they completed a movie?
Teamwork makes the Dreamworks
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︎ Dec 24 2019
Why did the bank manager leave his wife?
๐︎ 34
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︎ Sep 30 2019
I just hired Squirtle as our new Human Resources manager
It used to be Charmander but things tended to get heated. This new guy seems to have cooled things off
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︎ Dec 31 2019
[OC] Why is Sharon demanding to speak to your manager?
Because Sharon is Karen! (โ๏พใฎ๏พ)โ
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︎ Jan 24 2020
Since I became manager of a helium factory, my employee speak very highly of me.
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︎ Oct 08 2019
Why didn't the pro shop manager require another golfer to the trio looking for a tee time?
He didn't want to foursome.
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︎ Nov 19 2019
My dad and I were out for steak last night when the manager came around and asked "How did you find your steak?"
Dad goes, "I just moved the potato and there it was!"
๐︎ 4k
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︎ Feb 25 2017
Sign at a convenience store:Our credit manager is Helen Waite...
If you want credit go to Helen Waite
๐︎ 9
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︎ Oct 28 2019
Fooled by her manager, she was.
๐︎ 113
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︎ Jun 04 2018
The manager of a home goods store stops by the lingerie shop to ask about their prices.
The saleswoman says, "For you? A candelabra."
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︎ Oct 09 2019
I was buying my groceries in Prague when the manager approached me asking for my proof of citizenship
Being a US national, I wasnโt allowed to use the self Czech out.
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︎ Aug 30 2019
Manager. Task manager.
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︎ Feb 26 2019
Whatโd the manager say when a waiter dropped three plates in one night?
This is really getting out of hand
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︎ Jun 28 2019
I told the "apparent" joke on the front page to my manager
He asked if I had a book of dumbass jokes.
"No, just Reddit."
"Yeah, out of a book?"
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︎ Feb 08 2018
I hear that the Arctic Monkeys recently sold a Carpet to the current Real Madrid manager.
I bet that it looks good on Zidane's floor.
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︎ Aug 11 2019
The store manager asked me if I could move the Kia that was blocking the exit.
I said that I could, but thatโs not my Forte.
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︎ Oct 21 2018
An author was mad at the store manager because not a single copy of his autobiography was making it past the cash register
I guess his story didn't check out
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︎ Apr 12 2019
At work at PetSmart, little boy yells "guess what?! I have 3 knees!!" My manager takes the bait, says "oh yeah?"
He yells "yeah my left one, my right one, and a weeKNEE!" Child giggles ensue. Instilling dad jokes at a young age. Dadding done right. (:
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︎ May 27 2018
I arrived early at the restaurant last night. โDo you mind waiting for a bit?โ The manager asked. โNot at allโ I replied.
โGood, take these lasagnas to table 6โ he said.
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︎ Nov 21 2019
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