I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.

Guess they needed an emergency service.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Darksteel_
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05
🚨︎ report
My wife was going into labor and kept frantically shouting, "Call me an ambulance! Call me an ambulance!"

So I said, "You're an ambulance."

What a strange thing to say

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
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Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance

Me: Hi ambulance.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saugatRJ
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I'M DYING! CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!

You are an ambulance

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyIsaac250
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..

So I decided to call a toe-truck.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThaPlymouth
πŸ“…︎ Mar 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"

Dad: You're an ambulance.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/icemage27
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
🚨︎ report
Ambulance go brrr
πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peepeebigg
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2020
🚨︎ report
While driving the car, an ambulance passed us at high speed, sirens blaring.

I said to my wife:

"Can't see them selling much ice cream at this speed."

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.

Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?

They’re pair-a-medics

πŸ‘︎ 286
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skeewbsontwitch
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2020
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Ambulance driver goes to a Bar to drown his sorrows.

Barman says β€˜why you crying?’ He says β€˜a bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliff’ Barman says β€˜so why you crying?’ He says; β€˜there was 5 empty seats!’

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2020
🚨︎ report
Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance

Dad: okay, you're an ambulance

πŸ‘︎ 195
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πŸ‘€︎ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2020
🚨︎ report
When ambulances go very fast...

do they go at fixneck speed?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thisboishere
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2020
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Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? πŸš‘ For the Pair Of Medics
πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Inquivious
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2020
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How many people can ride in an ambulance?

Just a paramedics

πŸ‘︎ 236
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Science_Geek_101
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2019
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What sound does a French ambulance make?

Oui oui oui...

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aloochap123
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.

ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?

DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2020
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Dad (having an heart attack): Son call me an ambulance...

Son actually calls an ambulance.

Dad dies of disappointment.

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vinnaey
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2018
🚨︎ report
Ambulance

What do you call two medics in an ambulance?

A pair-a-medics.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illwill_lbc83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I had to call an ambulance for my grandmother today

It came with the siren blaring β€œmee maw..mee maw..mee maw.”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/midget_messiah
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My little brother fell off of a toy ambulance and started to cry then someone makes a pun
πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshTheTeddy
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My friend, dying: "Call me an ambulance!"

Me, leaning down: "You're an ambulance".

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2019
🚨︎ report
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
🚨︎ report
In an ambulance, there is the driver and 2 people helping the injured

They're pair of medics

(Paramedics)

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CrazyQueen502
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.

I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!

πŸ‘︎ 190
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Husband: "I think I'm having a heart attack." Wife: "Ok darling, give me your password to your phone and I'll call an ambulance."

Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

Nina.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/uglyric
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
An Xbox One and a PS4 get attacked... Here comes the ambulance!!!

WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU!

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shurgery
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Oh god call the ambulance
πŸ‘︎ 150
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πŸ‘€︎ u/QaCKK
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad: Son I'm having a heart attack call me an ambulance!

Son: You're an ambulance

Dad: Not bad

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/41d3n_P1355
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Daughter: "That armored truck looks like an ambulance."

Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."

She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/writenroll
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
My SO's Dad every time an ambulance speeds past

He'll never sell ice cream going that fast

πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/larapooh
πŸ“…︎ Aug 08 2015
🚨︎ report
Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
πŸ‘︎ 333
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Ambulance Girl

What do you call a girl that sounds like an ambulance?

NI-NA NI-NA NI-NA

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2019
🚨︎ report
My Dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren

..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...

πŸ‘︎ 608
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motomartin
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2013
🚨︎ report
What sound does an anime themed ambulance make?

Weeboo Weeboo Weeboo

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Impressivedebt04
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Dad to son: Quick! call me an ambulance!

Son: You're... an ambulance.

Dad: I'm-I'm so proud of you, son. [Dies]

Son: I did it... [Faints]

πŸ‘︎ 91
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Smilodon-Fatalis
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2016
🚨︎ report
I told my son I was dying and ask him to call me an ambulance

You can’t imagine my disappointment when he actually went and called an ambulance

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Charlotte_8
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm dying! Call me an ambulance!

Hi dying! You're an ambulance!

πŸ‘︎ 69
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ticklemesarah_
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2016
🚨︎ report
Did you know that ambulances are equipped with Wii U's nowadays?

You can tell because every time they turn on their sirens it goes "Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"

πŸ‘︎ 65
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrGingeyy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2016
🚨︎ report
Why are there always two EMTs in an ambulance?

Because they're a pair-of-medics.

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2016
🚨︎ report
Dad, call me an ambulance.

Dad: Son, you're an ambulance.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CroissantBuffet
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2019
🚨︎ report
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring:

"They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnamintRBLX
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren....

..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/motomartin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2018
🚨︎ report

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