I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.
Guess they needed an emergency service.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
My wife was going into labor and kept frantically shouting, "Call me an ambulance! Call me an ambulance!"
So I said, "You're an ambulance."
What a strange thing to say
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 26 2020
Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance
π︎ 4
π
︎ Nov 27 2020
Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..
So I decided to call a toe-truck.
π︎ 7k
π
︎ Mar 03 2020
I'M DYING! CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!
π︎ 10
π
︎ Sep 02 2020
Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"
Dad: You're an ambulance.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Oct 01 2020
Ambulance go brrr
π︎ 44
π
︎ Jun 06 2020
While driving the car, an ambulance passed us at high speed, sirens blaring.
I said to my wife:
"Can't see them selling much ice cream at this speed."
π︎ 3
π
︎ Sep 08 2020
Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?
π︎ 288
π
︎ Feb 19 2020
Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.
Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 17 2020
Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance
Dad: okay, you're an ambulance
π︎ 194
π
︎ Feb 02 2020
Ambulance driver goes to a Bar to drown his sorrows.
Barman says βwhy you crying?β
He says βa bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliffβ
Barman says βso why you crying?β
He says; βthere was 5 empty seats!β
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 04 2020
When ambulances go very fast...
do they go at fixneck speed?
π︎ 8
π
︎ Apr 29 2020
Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? π For the Pair Of Medics
π︎ 27
π
︎ Mar 18 2020
How many people can ride in an ambulance?
π︎ 238
π
︎ Nov 22 2019
What sound does a French ambulance make?
π︎ 9
π
︎ May 09 2020
DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.
ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?
DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]
π︎ 74
π
︎ Jan 22 2020
Ambulance
What do you call two medics in an ambulance?
A pair-a-medics.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 20 2019
I had to call an ambulance for my grandmother today
It came with the siren blaring βmee maw..mee maw..mee maw.β
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 27 2019
My little brother fell off of a toy ambulance and started to cry then someone makes a pun
π︎ 24
π
︎ May 30 2019
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They wonβt sell much ice cream driving that fast.β
π︎ 6
π
︎ Nov 08 2019
In an ambulance, there is the driver and 2 people helping the injured
They're pair of medics
(Paramedics)
π︎ 2
π
︎ Dec 05 2019
My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.
I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!
π︎ 189
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
Husband: "I think I'm having a heart attack." Wife: "Ok darling, give me your password to your phone and I'll call an ambulance."
Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"
π︎ 3
π
︎ Oct 03 2019
What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?
π︎ 9
π
︎ Aug 28 2019
An Xbox One and a PS4 get attacked... Here comes the ambulance!!!
WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU!
π︎ 77
π
︎ Feb 22 2019
Oh god call the ambulance
π︎ 147
π
︎ Oct 14 2018
Daughter: "That armored truck looks like an ambulance."
Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."
She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.
π︎ 205
π
︎ Oct 13 2018
My SO's Dad every time an ambulance speeds past
He'll never sell ice cream going that fast
π︎ 2k
π
︎ Aug 08 2015
Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
π︎ 331
π
︎ Jul 01 2017
Ambulance Girl
What do you call a girl that sounds like an ambulance?
NI-NA NI-NA NI-NA
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 10 2019
My Dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren
..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...
π︎ 613
π
︎ Aug 19 2013
What sound does an anime themed ambulance make?
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jun 15 2018
I told my son I was dying and ask him to call me an ambulance
You canβt imagine my disappointment when he actually went and called an ambulance
π︎ 2
π
︎ Aug 17 2018
Did you know that ambulances are equipped with Wii U's nowadays?
You can tell because every time they turn on their sirens it goes "Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"
π︎ 68
π
︎ Mar 01 2016
Why are there always two EMTs in an ambulance?
Because they're a pair-of-medics.
π︎ 33
π
︎ Dec 06 2016
Dad (having an heart attack): Son call me an ambulance...
Son actually calls an ambulance.
Dad dies of disappointment.
π︎ 5k
π
︎ Aug 13 2018
My friend, dying: "Call me an ambulance!"
Me, leaning down: "You're an ambulance".
π︎ 15
π
︎ Oct 21 2019
Dad, call me an ambulance.
Dad: Son, you're an ambulance.
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 14 2019
Dad: Son I'm having a heart attack call me an ambulance!
Son: You're an ambulance
Dad: Not bad
π︎ 19
π
︎ Jun 19 2019
When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring:
"They wonβt sell much ice cream driving that fast.β
π︎ 9
π
︎ Jul 11 2019
Dad to son: Quick! call me an ambulance!
Son: You're... an ambulance.
Dad: I'm-I'm so proud of you, son. [Dies]
Son: I did it... [Faints]
π︎ 88
π
︎ Nov 23 2016
I'm dying! Call me an ambulance!
Hi dying! You're an ambulance!
π︎ 66
π
︎ Jun 18 2016
My dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren....
..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...
π︎ 6
π
︎ Feb 28 2018
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