I saw an ambulance with the lights on at the local mechanics today.

Guess they needed an emergency service.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Darksteel_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
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My wife was going into labor and kept frantically shouting, "Call me an ambulance! Call me an ambulance!"

So I said, "You're an ambulance."

What a strange thing to say

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 26 2020
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Woman on the floor: help! Someone call me an ambulance

Me: Hi ambulance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/saugatRJ
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2020
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Earlier, I was driving behind an ambulance when a cooler fell off the back. I stopped and opened it up to find a foot inside..

So I decided to call a toe-truck.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ThaPlymouth
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 03 2020
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I'M DYING! CALL ME AN AMBULANCE!

You are an ambulance

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShinyIsaac250
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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Mom: "Help! I'm hurt! Hurry, call me an ambulance!"

Dad: You're an ambulance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/icemage27
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2020
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Ambulance go brrr
πŸ‘οΈŽ 44
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/peepeebigg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2020
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While driving the car, an ambulance passed us at high speed, sirens blaring.

I said to my wife:

"Can't see them selling much ice cream at this speed."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Assfrontation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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Why do ambulance drivers always have a partner with them?

They’re pair-a-medics

πŸ‘οΈŽ 288
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skeewbsontwitch
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 19 2020
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Azad Khan, a chef in a local Indian restaurant, overstretched and fell headlong into a vat of hot curry. An ambulance was quickly at the scene and he was taken to hospital.

Fortunately he is alive but is still in a korma.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Son: *having a heart attack* dad, call me an ambulance

Dad: okay, you're an ambulance

πŸ‘οΈŽ 194
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/x_amxxn_x
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 02 2020
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Ambulance driver goes to a Bar to drown his sorrows.

Barman says β€˜why you crying?’ He says β€˜a bus containing 30 Karens went over a cliff’ Barman says β€˜so why you crying?’ He says; β€˜there was 5 empty seats!’

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bigpapastu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 04 2020
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When ambulances go very fast...

do they go at fixneck speed?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thisboishere
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2020
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Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? πŸš‘ For the Pair Of Medics
πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Inquivious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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How many people can ride in an ambulance?

Just a paramedics

πŸ‘οΈŽ 238
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Science_Geek_101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 22 2019
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What sound does a French ambulance make?

Oui oui oui...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/aloochap123
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 09 2020
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DAD: [grabs chest] Quick! Call me an ambulance.

ME: [hesitantly] You're... an ambulance?

DAD: I'm- I'm so proud of you, son [...dies]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 74
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 22 2020
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Ambulance

What do you call two medics in an ambulance?

A pair-a-medics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/illwill_lbc83
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 20 2019
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I had to call an ambulance for my grandmother today

It came with the siren blaring β€œmee maw..mee maw..mee maw.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/midget_messiah
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 27 2019
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My little brother fell off of a toy ambulance and started to cry then someone makes a pun
πŸ‘οΈŽ 24
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JoshTheTeddy
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 30 2019
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When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring: "They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ruchi565
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 08 2019
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In an ambulance, there is the driver and 2 people helping the injured

They're pair of medics

(Paramedics)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CrazyQueen502
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2019
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My girlfriend said she'd only marry me if I overcame my ambulance obsession.

I can't wait to get down on one knee nor knee nor knee nor!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 189
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2018
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Husband: "I think I'm having a heart attack." Wife: "Ok darling, give me your password to your phone and I'll call an ambulance."

Husband: "Never mind. I'm feeling better!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cotswoldboy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 03 2019
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What do you call a woman who sounds like an ambulance?

Nina.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/uglyric
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2019
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An Xbox One and a PS4 get attacked... Here comes the ambulance!!!

WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU! WiiU!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 77
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shurgery
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 22 2019
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Oh god call the ambulance
πŸ‘οΈŽ 147
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/QaCKK
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 14 2018
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Daughter: "That armored truck looks like an ambulance."

Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."

She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 205
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/writenroll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 13 2018
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My SO's Dad every time an ambulance speeds past

He'll never sell ice cream going that fast

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/larapooh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2015
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Hey Siri, I'm bleeding really bad. Can you call me an ambulance?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 331
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Discount_Dracula
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 01 2017
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Ambulance Girl

What do you call a girl that sounds like an ambulance?

NI-NA NI-NA NI-NA

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ryannbajaj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2019
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My Dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren

..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 613
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/motomartin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2013
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What sound does an anime themed ambulance make?

Weeboo Weeboo Weeboo

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Impressivedebt04
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2018
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I told my son I was dying and ask him to call me an ambulance

You can’t imagine my disappointment when he actually went and called an ambulance

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Charlotte_8
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 17 2018
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Did you know that ambulances are equipped with Wii U's nowadays?

You can tell because every time they turn on their sirens it goes "Wii U Wii U Wii U Wii U"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 68
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrGingeyy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 01 2016
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Why are there always two EMTs in an ambulance?

Because they're a pair-of-medics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 33
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/lawrencethetornado
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2016
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Dad (having an heart attack): Son call me an ambulance...

Son actually calls an ambulance.

Dad dies of disappointment.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/vinnaey
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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My friend, dying: "Call me an ambulance!"

Me, leaning down: "You're an ambulance".

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 21 2019
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Dad, call me an ambulance.

Dad: Son, you're an ambulance.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CroissantBuffet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 14 2019
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Dad: Son I'm having a heart attack call me an ambulance!

Son: You're an ambulance

Dad: Not bad

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/41d3n_P1355
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2019
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When an ambulance zips past with its siren blaring:

"They won’t sell much ice cream driving that fast.”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/EnamintRBLX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 11 2019
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Dad to son: Quick! call me an ambulance!

Son: You're... an ambulance.

Dad: I'm-I'm so proud of you, son. [Dies]

Son: I did it... [Faints]

πŸ‘οΈŽ 88
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Smilodon-Fatalis
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 23 2016
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I'm dying! Call me an ambulance!

Hi dying! You're an ambulance!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 66
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Ticklemesarah_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 18 2016
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My dad used to say this whenever he heard an ambulance siren....

..they'll never sell any ice creams going that fast...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/motomartin
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 28 2018
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