Why does an ambulance have two seats up front? πŸš‘ For the Pair Of Medics
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Inquivious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2020
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My grandfather died because the medics mistakenly thought he had Type A blood.

Turns out it was a typo.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 100
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2019
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As the newest medic on my shift, my boss told me it was my responsibility to watch the office.

I’m currently on season 6, and still have no idea what this has to do with being a medic.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rgapinski
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2020
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I hope they don't spend all their time medic-ing around.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Aryan_Modi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 25 2019
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What is a medic's favorite beverage?

Lemonaid

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/stgm_at
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2019
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If you dislike puns about first-aid men getting head, then you can suck medic.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 01 2018
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Medic Joke.
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/live4lifelegit
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 24 2015
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What do you call two medics?

A pair-a-medics

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHBABY
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2018
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How did the combat medic get hired at SeaWorld?

He told them he was a marine biologist

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RoboChrist
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2015
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If i break my arm in a dream and go to the medic, what does the medic put in my arm?

A Dreamcast.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Unknow0059
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2015
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Ah yes medical pun (putting the actual joke in the title would kinda ruin it all ngl)
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PrevAccountBanned
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 11 2021
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[Request] Hospital/Medical Puns

r/puns I am calling on you in time of great need! My friend is going off to a hospital to do some work experience for 2 weeks and he needs all the hospital/medical puns that r/puns can muster!

Any and all suggestions relating to hospitals would be greatly appreciated.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/iimalteaserii
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2013
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I found this medical pun way too funny.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wanderingwalrus21
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 27 2016
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New medication created. Reduces swelling but makes you swear.

Ibuprofane

πŸ‘οΈŽ 45
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Toilet_King_101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 12 2021
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What do you call a canine with a medical PhD?

A dog'tor

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hotsprings1234
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 15 2021
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Inmates at HMP Manchester are refusing to eat the Moroccan spiced chicken dish they're given every Friday, claiming it is being used to secretly medicate them with aggression-suppressants hidden in the sauce.

That sounds to me like one of those cons' piri piri theories.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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Did you guys hear about the deli at the medical research clinic?

I guess they successfully cured cancer.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jewlius_Ceizure
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 03 2021
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I failed my medical school entrance exam last week, thanks to nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cecil_the_wonderdog
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2020
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There’s this new medication that makes people brave, but reckless.

It’s called Risketall

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/One-Angry-Goose
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2020
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Why are so many medical examiners hired on January 1st?

It's always, "New Year, new ME"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elnateo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 31 2020
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Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

For hispanic attacks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JonathanWickers
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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Did you hear there is a new medication for diarrhoea?

It will not be out for a while, as it is still in testin!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 12 2020
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When I have expensive medical bills -

Does that mean I had a valuable experience?

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Plausibl3
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 17 2020
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Why are orthodontists the most divine of all medical practitioners?

Cuz they're trancen-dental.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mighty_alicorn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2020
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I have a medical journal joke

But it’s still under review

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Josentangles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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What do you call medical professionals who don't feed their patients after an overnight stay in the hospital?

Doctors without boarders.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/explosivelydehiscent
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2020
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I just learned the medical name for Viagra

Mycoxaflopin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/professorf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 06 2020
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What do you call a medical fish?

Sturgeon general

πŸ‘οΈŽ 54
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ToxicSamurai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 02 2020
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What’s a proctologist’s favorite medication?

Ass-pirin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoctorMasterBates
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 27 2020
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I was prescribed medication but couldn't take it. It was impossible to get that damn lid off...

You might have heard of it. It's called Tryopenin.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 26 2020
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So my wife is getting some medical tests done (we’re expecting our second child) and had to bring home a urine sample cup to fill up and bring back to the clinic the next day.

She asks me to bring it drop it off at the lab for her and I ask, β€œwhere do I drop it off?”

She says, β€œGo in the front door and there’s a little desk that you -β€œ

β€œDon’t you mean a LITTLE STOOL!?”

... I hope you guys enjoy that as much as I did. True story happened today!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/gorhckmn
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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I didn't mean to take too much of my anxiety medication

It was Xanax-ident

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Subscribe_to_Sam24
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 01 2020
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What is a cannibal's favourite medical drama?

Graze Anatomy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Idle_Giant
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
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How do Dutch doctors prescribe medications?

In windmilligrams

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ScottyDelicious
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 23 2020
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Which kidney to take?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 6k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/steeltitan1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 05 2020
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What do seals do when they need medical attention?

Sea kelp

πŸ‘οΈŽ 34
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TheNeutralParty
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 28 2020
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My wife told me she saw two EMTs walking over by the hospital. β€œTwo EMTs?” I asked her...

...don’t you mean β€œpair o’ medics”?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 760
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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Why do EMTs travel together?

Because they're pair-o-medics.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DoomRulz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 14 2021
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I went to the library to get a medical book on abdominal pain.

Somebody had ripped the appendix out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Whlightning
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 16 2020
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Gonorrhea would be a great name for diarrhea medication.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
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I asked my boss if he would donate to my organization that provides medical support to Asian children with terminal diseases so they don’t have to be put down.

He hasn’t responded yet, but when he does I’ll find out if he supports youth in Asia.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/srirachase
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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My friend is a medical professional who does circumcisions for a living.

He doesn't get paid much, but at least he gets to keep all the tips.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 26
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rajdhagat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 11 2020
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What do you call the medically licensed crew of a ship that has never been attacked on its own deck?

Doctors without boarders

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hurrpancakes
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 10 2020
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What animal is the best at keeping your medical information confidential?

A HIPAA-potamus

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/wspoons5
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2020
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Along with gender dysphoria, my doctor wanted to address my poor oral health.

She prescribed me trans-and-dental medication.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/silashoulder
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 18 2020
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What type of medical condition excites politicians?

Pro-state cancer

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LopsidedVader
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
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My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication.

It’s for Hispanic attacks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DrTomatoHead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 20 2020
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My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication

It's for Hispanic attacks

πŸ‘οΈŽ 64
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/a_L_v_e_S
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 11 2020
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Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?

For Hispanic attacks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Tall_brown
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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I recently failed my Medical College entrance exam because of nerves.

The correct answer was blood vessels.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 126
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 15 2020
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I just learnt the medical name for Viagra

Mycoxaflopin

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thistardis
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
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I was prescribed medication but I couldn't take it. It was too hard to get the lid off. You might have heard of it...

TRYOPENIN

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 17 2020
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