This lifeguard tried his best to rescue a hippie

But he was just too far out, man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2021
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My friend found a deer stuck in a fence. It took him 3 hours, but he was able to rescue it.

He’ll do anything for a buck.

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint by (bear with me) a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on social media.

wHo the hEll would beLieve such a thing can hapPen.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SocialPerformer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2020
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Why was the farmer afraid to rescue the cow from on top of the barn?

The steaks were too high.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mrunibrowman
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2020
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I work with a small town search and rescue. We recently had a guy visiting from the big city to do some kayaking on the river.

He doesn't know the area and gets himself lost. All he does know is that there are a lot of grizzly bears roaming around during the salmon spawn this time of year, so he's quite afraid to get out of his kayak.

The temperature starts to drop. He needs to stay warm, and decides to build a fire inside his little boat on the river.

He learnt a valuable lesson that night: you can't have your kayak and heat it too.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islander399
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
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The head of Big Cat Rescue and the female antagonist in the hit Netflix documentary has been arrested after holding up an ice cream shop.

Police are reporting that it was Baskin-Robbins.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cashmag3001
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Grate-rescue indeed good sir v.redd.it/5yhqx1h4lt231
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcleland1992
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2019
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Why didn’t the lifeguard rescue the hippie?

Because he was faaaar out maaaaaan....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RDS327
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2019
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I found a box of discarded calculators and I just had to rescue them because...

Every calculator counts.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Calthropstu
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2019
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Why couldn't the coast guard rescue the hippie?

Because he was too far out

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wookslayer69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2018
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Insect rescue

Recently a moth flew into our sliding glass door and fell to the ground. It must have been stunned and barely conscious. Luckily, I was able to revive it using mouth to moth resuscitation!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/billbakernola
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2019
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This morning a criminal broke into the dog rescue center and released all the dogs!

The police are still​ desperately looking for any leads..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/keenan316
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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If you need a job you should apply at Search and Rescue..

They're always looking for people.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yakhuul
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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My step-father just became an underwater search and rescue officer, posted this on Facebook:
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rrranderson19
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2016
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I named my new rescue dog five miles...

So when someone asks I can say, "I walk 5 miles every day"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jetavator
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2017
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Did you hear about the dolphin at Sea World that is now used for underwater rescues?

He was reporpoised

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cowhunter101
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Man’s girlfriend and ex-partner jump into river to see who he’ll rescue news.com.au/world/asia/ma…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pnit
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2015
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They should make a new reality show like Restaurant Impossible or Bar Rescue, but add a judge like Judge Judy...

and call it "Food Court."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/paulja
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2014
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In some areas of the country horse rescue organizations are the glue that holds the community together

As dictated by my father to me, to share with you all.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2017
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If learn how to rescue baby birds...

will I know how to pick up chicks?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/seekunrustlement
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2013
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A client recently adopted a dog from this punny rescue. imgur.com/TWHrqrX
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Missa_doodikins
πŸ“…︎ Nov 22 2015
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So a mouse rescues another mouse from drowning, and finds him unconscious

What does he do to help him? Mouse to mouse resuscitation.

My dad hit me with this one during lunch. I couldn't even.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Petroesjka
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2015
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Why didn't the lifeguard rescue the hippie?

Because he was too far out man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHeroicOnion
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2020
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Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) posting a coded message on Reddit.
πŸ‘︎ 23k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/StewPaddasso
πŸ“…︎ Apr 28 2017
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Why did the lifeguard not rescue the hippy?

He was too far out man!

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bunit5
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2017
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