Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cade1102
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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My school used to give out wintergreen lifesavers to students taking standardized tests

But gum is our new tester mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/exref
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2018
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who invented Lifesavers?

My dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mariamriyaan
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2016
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Its important to keep some candy in your pocket at all times.

It could be a lifesaver.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Spotter66
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
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Mints anyone

My dad asked me if I heard about the guy who invented lifesavers. He said that the guy made a mint

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madmoola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2020
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I don’t think they’ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but don’t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

β€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, β€˜The good news is..it’ll feel better when it quits hurting.'”

What’s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

β€œI’ll call you later!”- β€œPlease don’t do that. I’ve always asked you to call me Dad!”

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

β€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.’”

β€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, β€˜No, just leave it in the carton!’”

I got so angry the other day when I couldn’t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book I’ve ever read, I’d say: β€œWow, that’s coincidental.”

I’m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build it’s house? Igloos it together.

β€œMe: β€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!’ Dad: β€˜Poof, You’re a sandwich!’”

β€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

β€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? They’re all girls, otherwise they’d be uncles.”

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth – its pasteurized before you even see it

β€œWhat’s Forrest Gump’s password? 1forrest1”

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: β€œDon’t worry; this is a piece of cake.” I said: β€œNo, it’s a math problem.”

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I don’t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. I’m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/weeb123xD
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2019
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What did the death row prisoner request as his final meal?

Lifesavers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdub_7
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2019
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My step-sister gave my father and I a handful of candy today

He replied, "Thanks, you're a lifesaver."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HDogg1414
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2015
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who invented lifesavers?

They say he made a mint

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/23jfrench
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2019
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did you here about the guy who invented lifesavers?

they say he made a mint

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Get_Swazzed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/slscjason94
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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Did you hear about the guy that invented lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/zefsquid
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChanandlerBong4
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/winnieismydog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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Did you hear about that guy who invented lifesavers?

I was told it was a mint....

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Shocked-Appalled
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2017
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/florgetech
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2016
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Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers?

They say he made a mint...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2016
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The Guy Who Invented "Lifesavers"?

My dad literally told me this one last week: "Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint."

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Raaju201
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…︎ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
You should always keep candy in your pocket

It could be a lifesaver

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thatzombiemom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Two wafers fell into a vat of chocolate. The first one pulled the second one out...

The second one said β€œthanks, you’re a lifesaver!” The first one responded β€œactually I’m a KitKat”

πŸ‘︎ 24
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Dad Joke

My dad literally told me this one last week: β€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaspreetkaur1542
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2017
🚨︎ report

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