I've invented a new talent contest where you have to dress up as a sailor and eat spinach as fast as possible....
I'll call it Popeyedol.
I grilled up some fish for dinner for a friend one time, they told me they didn't eat seafood.
I told them it was fine, because I caught the fish in a lake.
Proud of my son coming up with this joke.. Doctor: donβt eat too many apples...
Otherwise you will turn into an Iron man
What is an example of someone getting to eat up their words?
King Midas saying that this sandwich is gold.
A group of people meet up and eat together every night. But they do not talk about it.
They are part of the bite club
My son bet me he could eat 150 eggs, but he ended up puking and quitting at 144.
It was gross.
My wife asked me to whip us up some dinner to eat during the impeachment coverage.
I told her, "I am not a cook."
I had a guy come up to me at the store the other day as I was browsing the candy section and proclaimed "I refuse to eat Werther's originals!" Confused, I asked "Why's that?"
"I have my Riesens!β
Made this, your SO's will eat it up imgur.com/tN3eFAc
My mom sent me this picture with the caption "Dad wants to know what he should eat first... He's just cracking himself up..."
A squirrel is living in a pine tree, when one day, he feels it shaking, looks down and sees an elephant climbing the tree. The squirrel shrieks, βWhat are you doing climbing my tree?β βWell, Iβm coming up here to eat some pears.β says the elephant.
βYou idiot, this is a pine tree, there are no pears!β
βWell I brought my own pears.β
I went to a $15 all-you-can-eat buffet and when I got up to refill my plate, the manager said that I wasnβt allowed to get seconds.
I said, βWhat happened to βall-you-can-eat for $15?ββ
The manager said, βThat is all you can eat for $15 dollars.β
Eat a teaspoon of baking powder when you get up.
It helps you rise
My friend sliced up an apple to eat and quickly hung the scraps on the wall. I looked at him like he was crazy.
He said, "What?! It's Decor!"
Why do you heat up shawarma before you eat it?
Otherwise, it'd be called Sha-cold-a.
My daughter has been frightened lately, because I've been waking up nightly, screaming from a bad dream. (It's a dream in which I'm forced to eat Indian food for every meal...)
I told her it's just a recurrying nightmare.
Watching some movie where a bunch of dog sledders end up having to eat the dogs
He points to the cats and goes
"If we eat them it'll be a cat-astrophe!"
Ugh
