Some dumb random puns from an Among Us server.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dragonite-2
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.

Please don’t resort to violins and anger if you don’t notice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/koukasen_np
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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I found this beauty last year in the random crap aisle of a store.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gerbilena
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...

But I’ve seen Stranger Things

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Science calls it as "randomized clinical trial controlled with placebo", whereas I call it as..

.."Trick or Treatment"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amar610
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What do you call a random dog you see on the street?

Nothing, you make weird noises until it comes close enough for you to pet it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uiltje16
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Random And Merry(RAM)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Savings_Cattle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2020
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I have a condition where I spontaneously and randomly tell jokes to people

It's a gag reflex

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fingadod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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I bought a covid face mask covered with random musical symbols...

It’s very noteworthy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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What do NASA programmers do on the weekends?

They hit the space bar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zaddis04
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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Found randomly
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolik_pokakany
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2020
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I put up a random movie, turns out it was about the invention of the tampon

I didn’t expect it to be a period piece

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lurebat
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07 2020
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Really getting tired of all these random 3.14 jokes

Occupiing this sub

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VexuBenny
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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HELP! A random car was left outside of my house with my name on it!

I've caught the car owner virus !

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Barderz
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19 2020
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Any random man: Arya Stark?

Arya: Yes I am. Sansa: Yes I am. Robb: Yes I am. Bran: Yes I am. Rickon: Yes I am. Ned: Yes I am. Jon Snow: No, I'm not

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πŸ‘€︎ u/egxsy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What is the largest type of bar?

a Bus Bar

random thought while being passed by a bus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/palmvos
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2020
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I'm terrified of random letters

me: i'm terrified of random letters

therapist: you are?

me: [screams]

therapist: oh i see

me: [screaming intensifies]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/createsean
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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I’m a server and here’s a dad interaction I had the other day

Me, pointing at his food: Wanna box for that?

Random dad: No, but I’ll wrestle you for it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ImFunguys
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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BREAKING NEWS: Eminem has just become the first celebrity to be diagnosed with Coronavirus..

In a statement released by doctors, it has been revealed that his palms were sweaty, knees weak and arms were heavy.. He presented with vomit on his sweater already.. Initial testing has revealed it was mums spaghetti

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlySupaFly
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I wanted to tell a joke about a dumb person who ran

But that'd just be random

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RamSamG
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Do you accept random Facebook requests?

Asking for a friend.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Naitraen
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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I just caught my son eating some random thing off the floor

...and I shout at him, β€œHEY! What is that in your mouth!?!” And he smiles at me and says with the sweetest voice, β€œteeth.” πŸ€¦β€β™‚οΈ Does this make him the dad now?

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
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I hate it when my wife says "Are you listening to me?!"

Such a random way to start a conversation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MrYellowfield
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2020
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My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances.

I said: "There's the door."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/simplyGagi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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Random disbeliever: "how can you forsee something that hasn't even happened yet?"

Forseer: "how else?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Xianmuslim
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2020
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I hate when random people I don't know complain,

"How could you let your wife leave without saying goodbye?" I see her off, Anon.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stuporsuper
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2020
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Suck at puns, but i randomly found this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/IsilduurG
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
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One of my kitchen gadgets is randomly playing classical music

I think it’s the Chopin board.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Nightman_82
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
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Breaking news: Scientists have discovered a new element that disappears and reappears at random times. They have called it the element of...

SURPRISE!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2019
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*random citizen to Donald Trump* : Hey you're orange!

Donald : Wrong!

Donald : Im peach

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Quints98
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2019
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Pun Generator - Generate Random Cringe-Worthy Puns generatorfun.com/pun-gene…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2020
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Burt: Ernie, should we go out for ice cream?

Ernie: Sherbert

EDIT: Wow, I'm amazed at the upvotes.. Totally made my day. I came up with this yesterday while staring at bees pollinating our flowers. Random.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnnyhottub
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
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I used to randomly sort resumes into 2 piles. One of the piles I'd throw out. The ones in the remaining were lucky enough to go to step 2.

I guess I wasn't much of a police detective.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2019
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I used to be obsessed with the idea of playing football with random items of clothing. However, after stealing from a nun's wardrobe to feed my addiction, I soon saw the error of my ways.

It was a difficult habit to kick.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/T-posing_Jesus
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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Im sad because someone broken the elevator by rearranging all the buttons in a random way

Is just wrong on so many levels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tarka_d0_sera
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2019
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You can’t just eat random things, Becky
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πŸ‘€︎ u/illegalBacon83
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
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I keep randomly shouting out β€œBroccoli” and β€œCauliflower”

I think I might have Florets.

(Edinburgh fringe festival 2019: credit to the comedian Olaf Falafel)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jamesallen1977
πŸ“…︎ Aug 20 2019
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I have a random question, "what is entropy?"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ZenOfChem
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2019
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This random number said his name was Noah. So I had to do it to em.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Livmativ
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
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Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: you are?

Me: [Screams]

Therapist: I see

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2019
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Me: i am affraid of randomly thrown alphabets

Therapist: are you?

Me : screams

Therapist : oh i see

Me:screaming intensifies

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πŸ‘€︎ u/achrafmoucherif
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2019
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Terrified of Random Letters

Me: I'm terrified of random letters.

Therapist: Are you?

Me: [screams]

Therapist: Oh I see.

Me: [screaming intensifies]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Namnrocinu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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My girlfriend threatened to leave me if I didn't stop pointing out random exits and entrances....

I said "There's the door"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ElderHallow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2020
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