A weird German kid just gave me a gold coin
Thanks for the gold, strange kinder.
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︎ Dec 25 2020
My wife and I had this weird argument as to which vowel is the most important.
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︎ Jan 06 2021
After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.
Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.
Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.
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︎ Oct 04 2020
What's Weird Al Yankovic's favorite style of breasts?
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︎ Jan 06 2021
My weird talent is always being able to tell whatβs in a wrapped present.
π︎ 20
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︎ Dec 20 2020
There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.
First one that comes to mind....
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︎ Dec 15 2020
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...
But Iβve seen Stranger Things
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︎ Nov 06 2020
I may get in trouble by using weird symbols,
But it's my own asterisk.
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︎ Dec 18 2020
Why are unvaccinated 7 year old so weird
Because they're having a midlife crisis
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︎ Oct 15 2020
Canada has some really weird food.
I heard they mix together fish, mayonnaise, and 2 dollar coins and call it "Toonie Salad".
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 19 2020
People act really weird on the Metro
It must be a sub-culture...
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︎ Nov 05 2020
What a weird day
First I found a hat with money in it and after that, I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.
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︎ Sep 05 2020
My closet has a weird smell to it. Do you know what mothballs smell like?
Next question. How did you get their little legs to spread?
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︎ Nov 09 2020
The other day I said "woof" to a dog but he just gave me a weird look.
I guess my accent is a little ruff.
π︎ 39
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︎ Sep 26 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
It is an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 62
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.
Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.
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︎ Oct 12 2020
My daughter thinks itβs weird that I eat a bowl of corn flakes every single day for breakfast
But I donβt see whatβs wrong with being a cereal monogamist.
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︎ Oct 20 2020
Itβs weird- I canβt help but talk about footwear every time I sneeze.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 30 2020
What do you call a weird person with an ass fetish?
π︎ 13
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︎ Sep 07 2020
The polar bear was acting weird at the zoo
π︎ 6
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︎ Oct 14 2020
"I think I have a weird fetish for the end of an essay."
"How do you know that?"
"I just just came to that conclusion."
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︎ Jul 12 2020
You think musical wizards are weird?
π︎ 16
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︎ Aug 24 2020
Something weird happened today. I went to talk to a friend, and he asked me to calculate arcsecant out of the blue.
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 25 2020
This meme took a weird turn...
π︎ 28
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︎ Jul 17 2020
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...
...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β cough
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︎ Sep 11 2020
I think itβs weird that we call childbirth delivery.
It should have been called takeout instead.
π︎ 12k
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︎ Sep 15 2019
isn't it weird that we actually pay money just to see other human beings?
π︎ 6
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︎ Jul 11 2020
There's something really weird about having no hands
But I just can't put my finger on it.
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︎ May 27 2020
Bullets are quite weird...
They only do their jobs after they are fired
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︎ Nov 27 2019
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, βhuh, thatβs weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why thatβs weird.
I was just expecting a shingle pallet
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︎ Aug 04 2020
This one weird object will literally shock you!
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 08 2020
What did the black panther say when he saw someone doing something weird?
π︎ 7
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︎ Jun 10 2020
Isnβt it weird how cats tongues are so rough
Youβd think theyβd be meow
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︎ Jun 15 2020
My dad made this weird joke ages ago
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︎ May 09 2020
What do you call a weird linguist?
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 18 2020
βDad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?β
Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.
π︎ 4k
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︎ Jul 17 2019
weird flex
π︎ 6k
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︎ Feb 21 2019
My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someoneβs home.
Doctors are calling it Munch housinβ syndrome.
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︎ Jul 06 2020
Been noticing weird things with my neighbor lately. No idea why he shovels soil from his side, into mine.
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︎ Apr 16 2020
Did you hear about the rapper that had a weird asphalt fetish?
He came from the streets.
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︎ Apr 10 2020
I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign....
I couldn't put my finger on it....
π︎ 7k
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︎ Jun 22 2019
Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.
π︎ 75
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︎ Oct 30 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.
It's an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 42
π
︎ Sep 22 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 81
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 19k
π
︎ Apr 30 2019
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.
Itβs an extremely rare dish order.
π︎ 287
π
︎ Jan 27 2020
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