After being holed up in the house due to Covid, my wife has started having this weird nightmare that our house is made of celery.

Doctors are calling it stalk home syndrome.

Edit: You folks are way too generous. Thanks a lot.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2020
🚨︎ report
There are several reasons that a brain fetish is weird.

First one that comes to mind....

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ‘€︎ u/potatoeoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2020
🚨︎ report
My TV started playing random Netflix shows. It was weird...

But I’ve seen Stranger Things

πŸ‘︎ 147
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GigaMike123
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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Not to brag, but I have this weird talent in guessing what is inside a wrapped present.

It’s a gift.

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are unvaccinated 7 year old so weird

Because they're having a midlife crisis

πŸ‘︎ 54
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πŸ‘€︎ u/riversbenjamin5
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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Canada has some really weird food.

I heard they mix together fish, mayonnaise, and 2 dollar coins and call it "Toonie Salad".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Doogasa34
πŸ“…︎ Nov 19 2020
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People act really weird on the Metro

It must be a sub-culture...

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/techtornado
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My closet has a weird smell to it. Do you know what mothballs smell like?

Next question. How did you get their little legs to spread?

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iamkeerock
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The other day I said "woof" to a dog but he just gave me a weird look.

I guess my accent is a little ruff.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2020
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What a weird day

First I found a hat with money in it and after that, I got chased by an angry man with a guitar.

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Habodude
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2020
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My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It is an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2020
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I always thought it was weird that no one talks about demons in Africa.

Then I remembered-they bless the rains down in Africa.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_kermit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2020
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My daughter thinks it’s weird that I eat a bowl of corn flakes every single day for breakfast

But I don’t see what’s wrong with being a cereal monogamist.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/K_Z_513
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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It’s weird- I can’t help but talk about footwear every time I sneeze.

ah...Ah...AH-SHOE!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LaChuteQuiMarche
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2020
🚨︎ report
The polar bear was acting weird at the zoo

i think it's bipolar

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slymood
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2020
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What do you call a weird person with an ass fetish?

Ass-centric

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 07 2020
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"I think I have a weird fetish for the end of an essay."

"How do you know that?" "I just just came to that conclusion."

πŸ‘︎ 111
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kerlandays
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
You think musical wizards are weird?

Imagine dragons

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XxJettNotJeffxX
πŸ“…︎ Aug 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Something weird happened today. I went to talk to a friend, and he asked me to calculate arcsecant out of the blue.

He said "Gimme asec".

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pokefan713
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
🚨︎ report
This meme took a weird turn...
πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/getonmylevel205
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I have a weird side-effect from Covid; it makes me want to grope an ethnic Belgian dwarf...

...I'm feeling a little Flemish.Β Β  cough

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KW-DadJoker
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
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isn't it weird that we actually pay money just to see other human beings?

i mean glasses.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/daddeyhh
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2020
🚨︎ report
There's something really weird about having no hands

But I just can't put my finger on it.

πŸ‘︎ 40
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mozzatits
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
I think it’s weird that we call childbirth delivery.

It should have been called takeout instead.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Bullets are quite weird...

They only do their jobs after they are fired

πŸ‘︎ 3k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report
They delivered materials for our new roof today. I looked out the window, confused. Said to my son, β€œhuh, that’s weird. There are several pallets out there. He asked why that’s weird.

I was just expecting a shingle pallet

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/The1hangingchad
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2020
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This one weird object will literally shock you!
πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
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What did the black panther say when he saw someone doing something weird?

Wakanda shit is this?

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bl3kBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
Isn’t it weird how cats tongues are so rough

You’d think they’d be meow

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalebsantos
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a weird linguist?

Accentric

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Anti-Anti-Vaxx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad made this weird joke ages ago

Me

πŸ‘︎ 26
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ogpog_splash
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend has this weird habit where he gnaws at bricks when he visits someone’s home.

Doctors are calling it Munch housin’ syndrome.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2020
🚨︎ report
β€œDad, why do you always wrap my birthday gifts in this weird fabric?”

Dad: I just wanted to.... make my presents felt.

πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Been noticing weird things with my neighbor lately. No idea why he shovels soil from his side, into mine.

The plot thickens

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/reddit_user9901
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the rapper that had a weird asphalt fetish?

He came from the streets.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivytheblindhusky
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
weird flex
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JelKcajiahTie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2019
🚨︎ report
I saw a sign that said 'do not touch', however there was something weird about the sign....

I couldn't put my finger on it....

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SirCarpetOfBurn
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2019
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Weird science
πŸ‘︎ 66
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MilPens
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report
They say one in four people are homosexual, which is weird because I have three best friends, all guys. Makes me wonder which one of us would be gay.

I hope It's Paul. He's cute.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2018
🚨︎ report
It's weird how nobody knew who the Iranian general Soleimani was a few days ago...

It's like he blew up overnight.

πŸ‘︎ 132
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aakshaj
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
My boss thought the spacing in my report was weird

But I felt it was justified

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadlifememes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year it was bought.

It's an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sunken-ship-daddy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 79
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 19k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife has this weird OCD where she arranges the dinner plates by the year they were bought.

It’s an extremely rare dish order.

πŸ‘︎ 289
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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