Random Facts Puns

I told my brothers friends that men and ants were the only species who can conduct war.

One of them asked "Who made the study to find that out?"

And from behind comes "An Ant-thropologist"

Any time we'd see birds flying in a V formation, my dad would say "Any time you see birds flying like that, one line is always longer than the other. Know why that is?" me - "Why?" "Because there are more birds in that line."

So today in school we were went on dates with energy (we were given a random energy and fact about them) so I said "I sure hope I get geothermal because then they'd be hot...

For a little background my dad enjoys the more vulgar jokes. Anyway, he often jokes about his "company." In fact every time he answers the phone he answers as if it's a call towards his company.

(He answers the phone) "Hello this is the Viiiiibrator Repair Service." Caller - "the what?" Dad - "This is Dick Phitzwell's Vibrator Repair Service, as of right now only the installation department is available."

It's not a joke really cause there's no funny punchline. The caller normally laughs and then carries on with the call.

Another one he likes, "What does an 80 year old woman taste like?

Depends.."

The other day we are at the beach. We're walking back to our vehicle and he's carrying his metal detector in his hands. Random beachgoer - "Did you find anything?" Dad - "No, unfortunately my battery went dead... just like my ex-wife's 'curling iron' under her pillow."

There's many many more. I'll have to catalog them in some form. Let me know if you'd like to hear the life and times of Dick Phitzwell.

I was at my parents' house for dinner. My brother mumbled a fact about Antarctica randomly. My father responded, "What did you say about Antarctica? And does Uncle Arctica know? She'll be cold once she hears about this."