My Brilliant Humor is Wasted on the Young

This happened today.

I'm at park/playground with my kid. He's playing, I'm throwing a ball for my dog.

Three little girls, maybe around 10 years old, run up. "Can we pet your dog?"

Me, "Sure, would you like to throw the ball for her?"

One of the girls takes the thrower and chucks the ball. It goes a long way.

Me: "Wow, great throw!"

Girl: "I've got my dad's arms."

Me (already laughing on the inside): "Really? What does he use?"

They stare at me.

Sigh.

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/paul99501
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2018
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Yo man does your bag go to the gym?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/James-Underwood
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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My son identifies as a crescent moon. I’m worried, but my wife says it’s just a phase.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/olafminesaw
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
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A frog goes into a bank

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patty Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral." She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says, "It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

πŸ‘︎ 88
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saveitforthedisco
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2018
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Me: Who wants a cup of tea?

Brother: I thought it would of already been made

Dad: It's only July.

Me: I'll go and put the kettle on then.

Dad: Go on then but I don't think it will suit you.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Samix13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2018
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