This one is oldie but goodie.
When I was a child I asked my father 'why are there so many jokes about Chuck Norris but none about Clint Eastwood?' He leant forward look me straight in the eyes and said 'because Clint Eastwood is no joke'.
He knows the last digit of Pi.
He never liked Bruised Knee
... for breakfast.
A Round House.
He's used the same napkin since 1974. He just scares the shit out of it.
It had to quarantine for 14 days.
The virus will be quarantined for 14 days
Once.
It still didn't land on the ground
His Shoe
"Because it's too afraid to blow him"
If a wood chuck could Chuck Norris
POETRY!
I don’t understand why she feels that way.
You will be mist.
This happened today.
I'm at park/playground with my kid. He's playing, I'm throwing a ball for my dog.
Three little girls, maybe around 10 years old, run up. "Can we pet your dog?"
Me, "Sure, would you like to throw the ball for her?"
One of the girls takes the thrower and chucks the ball. It goes a long way.
Me: "Wow, great throw!"
Girl: "I've got my dad's arms."
Me (already laughing on the inside): "Really? What does he use?"
They stare at me.
Sigh.
When Chuck Norris attends a feminist rally he comes back with his shirt ironed. :)
But it’s a whisk I’m willing to take.
One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.
Man: Can’t say that I’m surprised.
I had to explain to him that I was married now and that's where I sleep.
But when I do he usually laughs
I just can’t get over them.
He fingered A minor
"That's a bald move"
Kilometer Cyrus
A tea bag spends more time in the cup.
... but then Chuck Norris swam in it 🤠
I don't even know where sandwiches live.
Unless you're at a funeral
Luckily I was still up playing my bagpipes
The Virus is now in quarantine for 14 days
He doesn't, he scares the living shit out of it
