A son enthusiastically asks his father will he teach him how to gamble on the black market
The Father responds with: “You bet your ass!”
What is the name of a casino that even kids can gamble in?
Gardening may be a gamble...
But I feel like a winner. Weed em and reap!
I asked my farmer friend, “Can you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?”
He said, “You bet your ass.”
Why couldn’t Adam and Eve gamble in the garden of Eden?
Because God took away their paradise.
Why don’t you gamble the ABC’s?....
Because it’s the Alphabet.
It’s my first one please don’t hate if this isn’t original.
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
I never gamble against cattle farmers
They're too good at raising steaks
Why can't you gamble in Africa?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
Why aren't cows allowed to gamble?
Because they always put too much at steak.
Where Sean Connery goes to gamble.
Tyrion Lannister tends to gamble his meat and mead while sitting on tall stool...
That way the steaks are higher.
My uncles wife likes to gamble
Why did the cow on the cloud not gamble?
Because the steaks are too high
I lost my wife due to my gambling addiction.
I'm going to try and win her back.
My ex had gambling and anger issues...
When I broke up with her things got a little dicey.
Two gambling cows ate some weed.
Gambling where the wager is a pepperoni slice
Playing with a pizza chit
Why don’t vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
Why should you keep at least a buck in your back pocket when you go gambling?
So you can bet your bottom dollar
My girlfriend left me because of my gambling addiction. She claimed I was an idiot.
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once Upon A Time....
A guy asked a girl to marry him.
She said, "No"
And the guy lived happily ever after, fishing, hunting, riding motorcycles, skiing, gambling, had loads of money in the bank, played a lot of golf, and left the seat up.
THE END.
I took a class about origami and gambling
They told me “you gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.”
🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️🤦🏻♂️
Dad out.
What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
Maybe I should quit while I’m a head.
I'm heartbroken. The Wife broke up with me because of my chronic gambling issues.
.. Desperate to win her back.
If there's no gambling in heaven...
... why do they call it para-dice?
I was playing a poker game and gambled with marijuana-infused beef
it was high steaks but i think it was worth it
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
I'm gonna bet you 50 bucks that I am no longer addicted to gambling
A new resort
I am thinking of establishing a holiday resort with gambling facilities.
It’ll be called Pair-A-Dice
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better
if every fifth caller was a winner
I was talking to my gambling friend. I told him that I went to the races with my wife.
"Did you win?" he asked.
"Of course not," I replied. "We didn't even run."
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
My gambling addicted brother has been missing for a while. Last we saw him he lost his life savings in a game of poker.
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
"I wish you would stop gambling!" I shouted at my son.
"You're no better yourself!" he snapped.
I said, "Exactly. That's why I don't encourage it."
When did Adam & Eve discover God didn't like gambling?
When he took away their pair a dice.
Did you hear about the buddhist monk with a huge gambling problem?
I asked my friend. "How is your gambling addiction recovery going?"
He said, "I could be bettor."
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
Why shouldn't you gamble with a cattle farmer?
They are always raising the steaks!
Why is it dangerous to gamble with a cattle rancher?
Because they're always raising the steaks.
I bet you that I can quit my gambling addiction!
What do you call a gambling cow on weed?
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