A son enthusiastically asks his father will he teach him how to gamble on the black market
The Father responds with: βYou bet your ass!β
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οΈ Feb 10 2021
What is the name of a casino that even kids can gamble in?
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οΈ Jan 28 2021
Gardening may be a gamble...
But I feel like a winner. Weed em and reap!
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οΈ Jan 15 2021
I asked my farmer friend, βCan you explain how I can gamble using farm animals?β
He said, βYou bet your ass.β
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οΈ Nov 01 2020
Why couldnβt Adam and Eve gamble in the garden of Eden?
Because God took away their paradise.
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οΈ Sep 16 2020
Why donβt you gamble the ABCβs?....
Because itβs the Alphabet.
Itβs my first one please donβt hate if this isnβt original.
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οΈ May 14 2020
My mother's sister was a gamble who enjoyed poker. She would heartily add to the initial pot but fold after the first hand...
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οΈ Dec 09 2019
I never gamble against cattle farmers
They're too good at raising steaks
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οΈ Jan 10 2020
Why can't you gamble in Africa?
Because there are too many Cheetahs!
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οΈ Jul 30 2019
Why aren't cows allowed to gamble?
Because they always put too much at steak.
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οΈ Feb 20 2016
Where Sean Connery goes to gamble.
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οΈ Apr 24 2018
Tyrion Lannister tends to gamble his meat and mead while sitting on tall stool...
That way the steaks are higher.
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οΈ Apr 29 2016
My uncles wife likes to gamble
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οΈ Jan 10 2018
Why did the cow on the cloud not gamble?
Because the steaks are too high
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οΈ Feb 25 2018
I lost my wife due to my gambling addiction.
I'm going to try and win her back.
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οΈ Apr 25 2021
My ex had gambling and anger issues...
When I broke up with her things got a little dicey.
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οΈ Feb 25 2021
Two gambling cows ate some weed.
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οΈ Dec 23 2020
Gambling where the wager is a pepperoni slice
Playing with a pizza chit
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οΈ Dec 17 2020
Why donβt vampires play poker?
They are afraid of the stakes
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οΈ May 02 2021
Why should you keep at least a buck in your back pocket when you go gambling?
So you can bet your bottom dollar
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οΈ Sep 28 2020
My girlfriend left me because of my gambling addiction. She claimed I was an idiot.
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οΈ Jul 18 2020
What do you call a herd of cows gambling at a marijuana dispensary?
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οΈ Jun 21 2020
The World's Shortest Fairy Tale
Once Upon A Time....
A guy asked a girl to marry him.
She said, "No"
And the guy lived happily ever after, fishing, hunting, riding motorcycles, skiing, gambling, had loads of money in the bank, played a lot of golf, and left the seat up.
THE END.
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οΈ May 21 2021
I took a class about origami and gambling
They told me βyou gotta know how to hold em, and how to fold em.β
π€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈπ€¦π»ββοΈ
Dad out.
ποΈ 174
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οΈ Jan 04 2020
What do you call the toilet of a king with a gambling addiction?
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οΈ Mar 17 2020
I sold all my body parts to feed my gambling addiction.
Maybe I should quit while Iβm a head.
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οΈ Jun 07 2020
I'm heartbroken. The Wife broke up with me because of my chronic gambling issues.
.. Desperate to win her back.
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οΈ Feb 25 2020
If there's no gambling in heaven...
... why do they call it para-dice?
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οΈ Feb 20 2020
I was playing a poker game and gambled with marijuana-infused beef
it was high steaks but i think it was worth it
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οΈ Jan 13 2020
Where can you look up the definitions of drug abuse, alcoholism, and problem gambling?
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οΈ Nov 08 2019
I'm gonna bet you 50 bucks that I am no longer addicted to gambling
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οΈ Dec 01 2019
A new resort
I am thinking of establishing a holiday resort with gambling facilities.
Itβll be called Pair-A-Dice
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οΈ Mar 01 2021
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
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οΈ Nov 12 2018
Gambling addiction hotlines would do so much better
if every fifth caller was a winner
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οΈ Feb 13 2019
I was talking to my gambling friend. I told him that I went to the races with my wife.
"Did you win?" he asked.
"Of course not," I replied. "We didn't even run."
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οΈ May 09 2019
My kids wanted me to play monster
So I told them I gambled away their college fund and slept with their aunt
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οΈ Jan 31 2021
My gambling addicted brother has been missing for a while. Last we saw him he lost his life savings in a game of poker.
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οΈ Jan 20 2019
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
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οΈ Apr 06 2019
"I wish you would stop gambling!" I shouted at my son.
"You're no better yourself!" he snapped.
I said, "Exactly. That's why I don't encourage it."
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οΈ Jan 12 2019
When did Adam & Eve discover God didn't like gambling?
When he took away their pair a dice.
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οΈ Jun 06 2018
Did you hear about the buddhist monk with a huge gambling problem?
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οΈ Sep 24 2017
I asked my friend. "How is your gambling addiction recovery going?"
He said, "I could be bettor."
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οΈ Dec 12 2017
What do you call it when a teacher watches his class as they take a test and plays online poker at the same time?
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οΈ Oct 08 2020
Why shouldn't you gamble with a cattle farmer?
They are always raising the steaks!
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οΈ Oct 19 2019
Why is it dangerous to gamble with a cattle rancher?
Because they're always raising the steaks.
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οΈ Mar 07 2016
I bet you that I can quit my gambling addiction!
ποΈ 42
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οΈ Oct 02 2019
What do you call a gambling cow on weed?
ποΈ 29
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οΈ Sep 02 2017
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