Investment bankers have always loved ramen restaurants
..turns out it's because of all the stock options.
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.
The steaks will be too high for sure.
What do you call a murderous clown whos good at investments?
Pennywise
Art supplies are a sound financial investment
That’s why it’s called “art appreciation”
My brother just made a really good investment on a property
It's a wise acre
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..
.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.
My investment in silent actors has really paid off lately.
It’s a real gold-mime
What was the skydivers last investment?
He bought the farm.
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of investment security?
Cryptocurrency.
We've all heard of "dogs with jobs." But where do they put their investments?
A 401K-9
Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm?
It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.
It was a pyramid scheme.
I've got an investment in America that pays 0% interest
It makes no cents
I decided to put my savings into a boomerang business. Guaranteed return on investment.
Today would be a good day to make investments
Historically, on this day, prophets have risen!
What type of investment do chemists prefer?
They seem to have an affinity for bonds.
A Saudi Arabian investment group just purchased Hobby Lobby.
It will now be called Wahabi Lobby.
The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.
It was a worst case scenario.
On the advice from my investment banker, I paid $1000 for a security blanket
It was pretty expensive but it keeps me warm and helps me sleep at night.
I wonder what Christ's Investment Portfolio is like
His followers go on and on about how much Jesus saves... Religiously.... But I bet it's not an ungodly amount
Why do lonely rich guys make investments?
They just want a bit of company
