Why is the financial meeting never boring?

Because it's funds.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2021
🚨︎ report
My financial advisor wants me to do the whole investor thing.

I bought the vest, any recommendations on a good tour I can take? So I can do my In Vest Tour

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Stampeed13
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2021
🚨︎ report
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...

It's a mootual fund.

πŸ‘︎ 31
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Art supplies are a sound financial investment

That’s why it’s called β€œart appreciation”

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HaysStays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My company's financial policy is a joke.

Now our budget's cracking up.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DesertWolf45
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear Henry Winkler was arrested for a financial scam?

He was running a "Fonzi Scheme."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GetEquipped
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nnntridib
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the financial analyst who went skydiving but missed the landing spot by a mile?

He was an expert in the field

Edit: I made this up myself!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ImNudeyRudey
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
🚨︎ report
If you are feeling lonely during the lockdown, try buying a few shares from the financial market.

Then you’ll have a little bit of company.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2020
🚨︎ report
My financial advisor just told me, β€œI’m sorry to say, but all of your assets are Frozen.”

..”Why did you buy so many DVDs of the same movie?”

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Where did the Joker keep his financial information?

In his Ledger

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Anthonybrose
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
🚨︎ report
A financial tip: Don’t invest in skiing companies.

The entire sport is going downhill fast.

πŸ‘︎ 430
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2018
🚨︎ report
Would you say that people making financial and climate predictions for next year have... 20/20 vision?
πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cain11112
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I used to be a financial advisor for the military..

One time a contractor approached me and asked if I wanted to buy some panzers that his company built.

I considered it for a while but remembered that the air force needed to get new fighter jets.

I turn back to the contractor and say, β€œsorry, but we just don’t have enough room in the budget. Thanks but no tanks.”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Bandit_TFR
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2019
🚨︎ report
Why was the financial advisor the strongest man in the world?

He couldn’t lift a mountain, but he could budget.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/linknt01
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2019
🚨︎ report
What do you call a brother and sister who marry eachother for financial gain.

An incestment

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mentalman92
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Financial Advice

Even if you can't af-Ford it, Holden onto a vintage car is fun.

(just in case I need to mention it: Ford & Holden are two car manufacturers who've been in Australia for a long time)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/wilkgr
πŸ“…︎ Jun 23 2018
🚨︎ report
I like to claim that the Greek Orthodox secretly run the world through its financial networks…For some reason people are ok with that, try putting a different religion in there and suddenly you’re a conspiracy theorist and hate criminal

Those Catholics are real sensitive sometimes

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Irv-Elephant
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Financial institutions need your business

In fact, they're banking on it

πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a crappy financial advisor?

An income-poop

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2018
🚨︎ report
A financial analyst is a profit prophet
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Randomtngs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2018
🚨︎ report
Why was Axel Rose having financial problems in his first Profession as a Doctor?

He needed some more Patients.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pbredd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I heard they pay construction workers who build financial institutions a higher wage.

Those guys really make bank.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/unclemerle1775
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
🚨︎ report
It's so sad that aquarium is having financial troubles...

Some might say its floundering

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sendtobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
🚨︎ report
What do you call it when a bunch of tentacled sea creatures protest the financial industry?

Octopi Wall Street

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PKMKII
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2017
🚨︎ report
If I owned a financial planning business I would definitely sponsor a run

But only if it was a 401k

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mintypickleman
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2017
🚨︎ report
My financial advisor must've been listening to 80s hair bands

He told me to put my retirement money in a David Lee Roth IRA

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WalkThisWhey
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2016
🚨︎ report
My dad was handling some financial stuff for an elevator company...

"Man, it would be so boring to work there...but I'm sure it has its ups and downs!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemon420
πŸ“…︎ Dec 16 2015
🚨︎ report
Sometimes my Dad gives me financial advice. imgur.com/Zro0ToT
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
🚨︎ report
My dad teaching us financial responsibility

Years ago my parents sent my sister to England for a summer camp/study trip. Whenever we would call her we'd all gather around the speakerphone and talk briefly since international phone calls were expensive back then. One day we call her and my sister tells my dad that she has 6 more days of camp left and she is down to her last pound (dollar). There is a long awkward pause. Then my sister ask: Dad, what should I do? To which my dad responds: Spend it wisely...

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cabrilo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
What helped contribute to the financial crisis?

Nothing on the left side of Accountants' books were right, and nothing on the right side was left.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/USCgamecocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.