Investment bankers have always loved ramen restaurants

..turns out it's because of all the stock options.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/karmaniak
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2021
🚨︎ report
I was thinking of making an investment on a new farming venture that feeds marijuana to cows instead of grass.

The steaks will be too high for sure.

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Negative_Integer
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
What do you call a murderous clown whos good at investments?

Pennywise

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cresendo77
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2021
🚨︎ report
Good punmanship is an investment in your future
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mortilsola
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Art supplies are a sound financial investment

That’s why it’s called β€œart appreciation”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HaysStays
πŸ“…︎ Nov 11 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother just made a really good investment on a property

It's a wise acre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SeNoR_LoCo_PoCo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 28 2020
🚨︎ report
I just wish, that I had made early investments in hand sanitizer, on the Stock Markets..

.. Somebody, somewhere, is rubbing their hands together.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My investment in silent actors has really paid off lately.

It’s a real gold-mime

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/C0NSTABEL
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2020
🚨︎ report
What was the skydivers last investment?

He bought the farm.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tyrannosaur85
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s a mummy’s favorite type of investment security?

Cryptocurrency.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BluPrince
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
We've all heard of "dogs with jobs." But where do they put their investments?

A 401K-9

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArcWalrus
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you guys hear about the investment broker that retired to run a celery farm?

It seems he made a killing on the stalk market.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OmegaLiquidX
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
This guy from Egypt called me to invest in a tourism company, and then to ask 3 others to invest in it, while getting returns from their investments. I declined it.

It was a pyramid scheme.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheHyperthetical
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I've got an investment in America that pays 0% interest

It makes no cents

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GaryTheKnight
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2019
🚨︎ report
I decided to put my savings into a boomerang business. Guaranteed return on investment.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tomlederp
πŸ“…︎ Jan 30 2019
🚨︎ report
Today would be a good day to make investments

Historically, on this day, prophets have risen!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoquiero
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2015
🚨︎ report
What type of investment do chemists prefer?

They seem to have an affinity for bonds.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2016
🚨︎ report
A Saudi Arabian investment group just purchased Hobby Lobby.

It will now be called Wahabi Lobby.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pickles17
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2017
🚨︎ report
The whole family got new phones. All of us bought Otter Boxes to protect our investment, except my teenage daughter who got a Hello Kitty cover with no screen protector.

It was a worst case scenario.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acemask
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2018
🚨︎ report
On the advice from my investment banker, I paid $1000 for a security blanket

It was pretty expensive but it keeps me warm and helps me sleep at night.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kshiau
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
🚨︎ report
I wonder what Christ's Investment Portfolio is like

His followers go on and on about how much Jesus saves... Religiously.... But I bet it's not an ungodly amount

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do lonely rich guys make investments?

They just want a bit of company

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Coinocus
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2017
🚨︎ report
Why was the deer was looking to diversify her investments?

Because she only had a couple of bucks and wanted to make a little doe.

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/skoomy
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2015
🚨︎ report

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