Investor Stallone.
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📅︎ Dec 26 2020
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What do you call it when an investor becomes a bodybuilder?

Capital gainz

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/sux_4_bux
📅︎ Jan 18 2021
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The XFL was just sold to Dwayne Johnson and a couple of investors for $15 million...

..now that's a Rock bought 'em price.

👍︎ 25
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📅︎ Aug 07 2020
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What did the investor say to the Vegan Restaurant owner?

"I'd like to buy a steak in this restaurant"

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📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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What is a Chinese investor's favorite food?

Beef mutual fun

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📅︎ Jan 06 2020
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To a French investor, roi is king.
👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Nov 08 2018
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I've added a stock investor on Facebook.

We have 3 mutual funds in common.

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/sodomicity
📅︎ Jan 17 2019
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Why was the cow investor nervous?

He had a lot at steak.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Sep 14 2018
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I was an early investor in elevators....

I wanted to get in on the ground floor.

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/BeardFM
📅︎ Apr 18 2017
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Why did the tent company get no investors?

It was tough to pitch.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Apr 18 2018
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I invented a better egg-beater, but I couldn't find any investors willing to take a chance on my product.

They didn't want to be involved in any "whisky business"

👍︎ 4
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👤︎ u/JonQueue
📅︎ Dec 04 2017
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I'm gonna start a German themed donut shop.

Any investors interested in backing Gluten Morgen?

Pretty proud of that one.

👍︎ 15
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👤︎ u/samjtrost
📅︎ Jan 25 2021
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I started a company making airplane windows out of raw sand

Investors couldn't see the business taking off

👍︎ 8
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📅︎ May 28 2020
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Why is Uber/Lyft the worst business model?

They drive all their customers away.

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👤︎ u/Me-Smart
📅︎ Oct 26 2018
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My bird protection agency:

No harm no fowl.

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👤︎ u/bleish22
📅︎ Oct 24 2017
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Can someone check my pun about investing?

Hi, I'm the president of a high school club called future investors and I need a few puns to accompany an advertisement on facebook/instagram.

Here it is: "Invest your time into something meaningful.. like FUTURE INVESTORS! I promise that you won't be a-loan, as you'll form a lot of bonds (and hopefully have a high ROI) by joining! Don't be a laughing stock and come to our first meeting on 9/19"

👍︎ 32
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👤︎ u/hpycow
📅︎ Sep 08 2016
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I almost managed to recruit money for my slippers factory...

...but the investors got cold feet

👍︎ 3
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📅︎ Jan 25 2019
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I'm going to open a department store that caters to female pop singers.

It's going to be called, "Lorde and Taylor Swift". Seeking investors.

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Nov 22 2016
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A friend of mine owns a Chinese restaurant in Korea.

He's been having some real trouble finding investors willing to back him in an expansion, even though his current business model is doing really well and Sichuanese food is a real hit in the capital.

Apparently it's a long way to the top if you wanna wok in Seoul.

👍︎ 5
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👤︎ u/basquefire
📅︎ Sep 01 2014
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