What type of person speeds up vaccine development?

A Russia

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πŸ‘€︎ u/acschwar
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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What an astronomical development in space science!
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tintedvision17
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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What did the frog say at the condom product development meeting?

Ribbit

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
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There was a spider in my web development class today.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sloppyblowjobs69
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2019
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The development of the pneumatic jackhammer was a significant feat

It was a ground-breaking invention

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2019
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Most people don’t understand how important genetics plays into our children’s development.

And that’s why children will always pay for the β€œshins of their father.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wyllyam1111
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2019
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I was going to watch arrested development today, but got a spoiler on reddit.

i geuss you could say it was a reddit development.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DOG_CHEESE
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2019
🚨︎ report
My depressed Italian buddy got into property development.

Now he's in a real estate.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2019
🚨︎ report
With recent political developments, the world with surely fall into...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolxcat
πŸ“…︎ Feb 03 2017
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The abbreviated version of the Rural Development Research Report is pretty funny.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Freklred
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Reading a paper looking at the difference between limb development in snakes & mammals someone asked what the composition of the snake genome is

I said: I bet it contains a lot of hisssstidines.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/turtle_flu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2016
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How can a game development engine racism?

I don't know, but I sure see a lot of posts that say the only way to end racism is with Unity.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/darkesco
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2016
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Signal developers are madlads
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Big_Stiffy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19
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Scientists have developed a microscopic needle that is too small to be seen by the naked eye...

I just don't see the point.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GrannyLow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys. Girls develop boobies around the age of thirteen...

...and boys develop them around the age of forty…

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 26 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do developers never put horse-drawn carriages in their games?

They can be buggy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/109488
πŸ“…︎ Dec 22 2020
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I think my wife is developing Alzheimer's.

She said, she can't remember what she saw in me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I developed my own fragrance today,

Nobody in the car liked it.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mporlick
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2020
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Why do some developers need glasses?

Because they cant C#.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/maplesyruptrees
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
🚨︎ report
Scientists developed a male birth control gel but it only targets the X/Y chromosome

Theyre calling it "Son-Block"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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If Al Gore really invented the internet, did he develop his own Al-Gore-rithms? :')
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πŸ‘€︎ u/terrarion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 02 2020
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Why does a space rock taste nicer than an earth rock?

It’s a little meteor.

(Not a dad. But I told this to my dad and he approved)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ValkyrieAssassin1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06
🚨︎ report
What do Vampire Software Developers Abhor?

Stakeholders.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evilteach
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
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How many developers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None - that's a hardware problem.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/EnigmaticLemons
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2020
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You know what it's called when you hurry to develop a vaccine?

... Russian.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aarondamaster
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2020
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TIL: Humans are born with four kidneys

When they grow up, two of them becomes adult knees

πŸ‘︎ 17k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Not_obnoxious
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2020
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I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts

It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne"

πŸ‘︎ 9k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
When the first company develops the Coronavirus vaccine we should all proclaim: "Covidatulations"
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigBossSnake
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call an esse that isn’t fully developed?

A paragraph

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSinkingShit
πŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
🚨︎ report
What’s the hard stuff that develops on cows’ teeth?

Steak tartar.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PercivalFailed
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2020
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Not the best name for a developer
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TennisStarNo1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2020
🚨︎ report
I developed a successful chicken social network app to earn some money on the side.

I did it to make hens meet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/yoav-bam
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2020
🚨︎ report
Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kickypie
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
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This week I volunteered for the Russian developed Covid-19 vaccine...

I received my first shot yesterday at 4:00 pm, and I wanted to let you all know that it’s completely safe, with ΠΈo side effects whatsoeveя, and that I feelshΞΊΞΉ Ο‡oρoshό я Ρ‡ΡƒΠ²ΡΡ‚Π²ΡƒΡŽ сСбя Π½Π΅ΠΌΠ½ΠΎΠ³ΠΎ странно ΠΈ я Π΄ΡƒΠΌΠ°ΡŽ, Ρ‡Ρ‚ΠΎ Π²Ρ‹Ρ‚Π°Ρ‰ΠΈΠ» ослиныС ΡƒΡˆΠΈ.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/andersonfmly
πŸ“…︎ Sep 23 2020
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They developed a cure for my vampirism AND my blindness!

Never thought I'd see the day.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Safecyn
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2020
🚨︎ report
When did the dentist develop tooth pain?

Tooth-hurty! (2:30)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wongonsomanylvls
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do python developers wear glasses?

Because they cant C

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πŸ‘€︎ u/saber_boi
πŸ“…︎ Sep 11 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a fear of German sausages

I fear the wurst.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/massattcker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2020
🚨︎ report
How did they develop the covid vaccine so quickly?

They were russian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/_lmaoxd_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2020
🚨︎ report
What kind of web developers DO like bugs?

Spiders!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Why don't developers carry guns?

They have troubleshooting.

Edit: Wow! This really took off! I'm happy to have inspired so many grins, cringes, and chuckles!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickleFart69
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
🚨︎ report
Why do most web developers wear glasses?

Because they can't C:

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πŸ‘€︎ u/notsafeforh0me
πŸ“…︎ Jul 25 2020
🚨︎ report
Karen did that actually happen
πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/prabeshdai13
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
We will never run out of puns now!

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweepi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/communist_scumbag
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a cologne developed by Tesla?

Elon Musk

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ExEvo11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I’m developing a comic series, and I need a short pun as the title.

This is about a school janitor who murders children at the school he works at, and I’m looking for either a pun about cleaning or a pun that can somehow tie in murder/violence with cleaning in some way. Strange request, I know.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2020
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See what develops
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CocozuBR
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
Mary Pill Poppins Pharmaceutical just created a miracle drug that can cure any human of any disease. It's effectiveness is renowned while it's side effects are surprisingly minimal: thick layer of skin develops on the lips while rendering them dry, cracked and quite odorous.

Patients effected by this claim it's super callused fragile lips that smell like halitosis

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ramzert
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a game which simulates your parents using the internet.

It's called the Elder Scrolls Online.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/etaksjacks
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Apple is developing a new car

But they were having trouble installing windows.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lajarus
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2020
🚨︎ report
The chemist who created the periodic table was stumped during his process of developing the table. Suddenly, he realized:

He was missing a key element the whole time

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnthMaster7
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the Minecraft developer say when he looked as his daily schedule?

Not a Nether meeting!

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/-the-BoneChurch
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2020
🚨︎ report
Are people born with a photographic memory?

Or does it take time to develop?

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YesImThatJ
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2020
🚨︎ report
I’ve recently developed a severe phobia of elevators.

I’m taking steps to avoid them.

πŸ‘︎ 140
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ENJOYblet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2019
🚨︎ report
Einstein developped a theory about space

and it was about time too...

πŸ‘︎ 49
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πŸ‘€︎ u/p_vit
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a new cologne for introverts

Leave me the Fuh Cologne

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BloodDReaper
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2020
🚨︎ report
It has been scientifically proven that girls reach the age of puberty earlier than boys…

Girls develop tits around the age of thirteen, boys develop them around the age of forty…

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Dec 14 2020
🚨︎ report
A giant list of puns from r/copypasta

A giant list of puns

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. It’s a little fishy.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind it’s tearable.

Why did the cookie cry? Because his father was a wafer so long!

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

What do you call a belt with a watch on it? A waist of time.

How do you organize an outer space party? You planet.

I went to a seafood disco last week... and pulled a mussel.

Do you know where you can get chicken broth in bulk? The stock market.

I cut my finger chopping cheese, but I think that I may have greater problems.

My cat was just sick on the carpet, I don’t think it’s feline well.

Why did the octopus beat the shark in a fight? Because it was well armed.

How much does a hipster weigh? An instagram.

What did daddy spider say to baby spider? You spend too much time on the web.

Atheism is a non-prophet organisation.

There’s a new type of broom out, it’s sweepi

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm developing a new fragrance for introverts

It's called "Leave me the fuh cologne"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/throwawaytrol7134
πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
🚨︎ report

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