I went to the Home Improvement store this weekend and walked past the stud finders...

The noise was unbearable.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
My English skills and mental health need improvement, but my math skills are fine.

Me grammar sucks and i is imaginary.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bdiscer
πŸ“…︎ May 20
🚨︎ report
Home Improvement

Adding new fixtures to the doors in my house has really helped me get a handle on things

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/borothy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone loves my Shrek costume, but I still see room for improvement.

I guess I'm an ogre achiever.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2019
🚨︎ report
My sister had to have surgery today. Honestly the puns leave womb for improvement.
πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/marcuccione
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2018
🚨︎ report
Someone once asked me what it's like working at a home improvement store

I said that it had its highs and its Lowes

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickcooper1991
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
🚨︎ report
As a janitor, I make sure to tell people there's always broom for improvement
πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MikeButtheegee
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2018
🚨︎ report
"There's always room for improvement"

-IKEA

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ninjamxz
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2018
🚨︎ report
I made a β€œsuggestion for improvement” to my wife regarding her cooking.

She responded β€œyou know, I slave away all day in this kitchen..”

So I cut in: β€œand you still can’t seem to get it right.”

On the plus side, it’s way roomier than I would have expected in this doghouse.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Phisopholer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2018
🚨︎ report
Boyfriend dad joked me during home improvements

Bf and I were doing some re- plastering in the house yesterday. All the spatula work was really starting to hurt my wrist.

Me: "Damn, honey. My wrist really hurts from all this work."

Him: "Would you say you need some wrist training?"

Me: "Hmmmm...yeah I guess that would help..."

Him: "Then you need a wrist training order"

groans

πŸ‘︎ 77
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_homeschooler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
🚨︎ report
I went to the home improvement store to compare prices on new carpet, wood, and tile.

The prices floored me.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaunceychaunce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
🚨︎ report
Shopping at the home improvement store

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubikscanopener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
🚨︎ report
work at a hardware/home improvement store and overheard this

two customers who know each other begin with the usual greeting (hi, how are you?)

Man1: So what are you here for?

Man2: Coming to get some blinds (similar to window curtains)

Man1: Blinds? Why don't you just cover you eyes?

Man1 then proceeds to cover his eyes whilst having a very hearty chuckle.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
🚨︎ report
How do you improve your archery?

With better arrow dynamics.

πŸ‘︎ 44
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dothemagic
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19
🚨︎ report
The mods have a new way of improving the jokes we submit. They now add smell to all the jokes and rate them according to their odour. One mod adds some floral funniness, another tweaks them with sweet smile appeal and a third makes sure they contain a few obnoxious puns.

From now on no joke will be published without their scents of humour.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brucemoose1
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
During lockdown my origami skills have improved...

Tenfold

πŸ‘︎ 41
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πŸ‘€︎ u/invertedparadoxxx
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01
🚨︎ report
Has anyone else's gardening skills improved during this quarantine like mine have ?

I planted myself on the sofa at the beginning of April and I've grown bigger ever since

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21
🚨︎ report
What do you call a doctor who is half man and half horse?

A centaur for disease control

πŸ‘︎ 78
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πŸ‘€︎ u/peach_problems
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10
🚨︎ report
Who improved the art of stealing to perfection?

Rob Boss.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ“…︎ May 16
🚨︎ report
I just invested in a company that will pay me to keep t-bones and rib-eyes in my freezer to sell when the market improves...

I'm a steak-holder.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24
🚨︎ report
My friend found a sturdy piece of lumber to place within his guitar to improve the vibrations...

It was a soundboard

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24
🚨︎ report
Improved
πŸ‘︎ 113
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πŸ‘€︎ u/MFrisch14
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
🚨︎ report
With daily practice, the lumberjack’s musical ability improved

logarithmically

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/vbloke
πŸ“…︎ Mar 19
🚨︎ report
This story is about a man called Trevor, and his obsession with tractors.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tracto

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ShredderSte
πŸ“…︎ Aug 07
🚨︎ report
I bought a book on how to improve your memory.

Forgot where I left it.....

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wentwiththeflow
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
They should improve their marketeang
πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/chorima94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2019
🚨︎ report
What kind of vitamin improves your eyesight?

Vitamin see!

πŸ‘︎ 34
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SkyMarkGamer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How does a chiropractor improve their craft?

Chiropractice.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JohnDough39
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2019
🚨︎ report
Oranges improves your eyesight

Because it contains Vitamin See

πŸ‘︎ 22
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πŸ‘€︎ u/linzihan
πŸ“…︎ Sep 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Reddit should have an app so that every upvote you get improves your credit score

It would be called Creddit Karma

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amphibatron
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
🚨︎ report
My wife was just recently diagnosed with colorectal cancer and now has surgery scheduled to remove a couple of inches of her colon. I expect her grammar will improve as a result.

... Because she's going to have to learn how to use a semicolon.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Weekend833
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
🚨︎ report
When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time...

When my wife was in labor with our first child I read her jokes to pass the time, but she didn’t laugh at any of them. Nevertheless I’ve persisted with telling the same lame Dad jokes during the births of each of our kids. Today she’s in labor with our fourth and I’ve finally got her laughing...

I think I’ve really improved the delivery!

πŸ‘︎ 35
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Po1sonator
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25
🚨︎ report
What are the top two things that improve your hearing?

Your ears

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ToldYouSo20
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2019
🚨︎ report
I asked an experienced gardener how I could improve my herb garden.

He gave me some sage advice.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pun-isher42
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
🚨︎ report
Gradually improving at binary
πŸ‘︎ 96
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OnlyUsesFourWords
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been eating toast to improve my self

I’m a breader person for it

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ironicplatypus84
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2019
🚨︎ report
Birds would make great improv comedians.

They're always winging it.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lemmlemm
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Got really bad eyesight, but at the end of this year I’ll get eye surgery to improve my vision, so hopefully next year it will be...

2020

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frankaydoodl
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend just called me up and told me that we were breaking up.

I went outside and the signal improved.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15
🚨︎ report
I wanted to impress my friends, so I learned how to improve my guitar skills.

It was A Major task but I can only C Minor improvement.

πŸ‘︎ 21
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRealJeemboo
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
I joined an improv group...

I joined an improv group for skits and giggles.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/holiestofrollers
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2019
🚨︎ report
My Kid: β€œSo my friends and I joined the improv club at school.”

Me: β€œThat sounds cool. Do you guys have a plan or are you just gonna make it up as you go?”

(This was a couple years ago and I still look back on it as my peak dad joke)

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/lcsscallywag
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Next year, I’ll expect my vision to improve drastically.

It’ll be 20/20.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AlvaroBertoni
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
🚨︎ report
Bedroom seasoning

Babe & I tried to spice things up so as to improve our sex duration

But as a 2 mins guy I came on thyme, as usual

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Farmzy_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04
🚨︎ report
When my friend showed me his improved Pennywise impression, I said

β€œNow that’s more like It”

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/solemnbiscuit
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2019
🚨︎ report
My husband suggested we get a repeater to improve our router signal...

Me: A what?

Him: A repeater.

Me: dramatic eyebrow wiggling with shit eating grin

Him: Oh my god.

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misscharl0tte
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2016
🚨︎ report
10 Stupid Puns
  1. My friend once told me she watched Regular Show all the time. I said, "I guess you could say you watch it regularly." We are not friends anymore. (True Story)

  2. I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down!

  3. I wanted to take pictures of the fog this morning… But IΒ mistΒ my chance. I guess I couldΒ dewΒ itΒ tomorrow!

  4. Looks tasty. Gimme a pizza that.

  5. Why do eggs hate jokes? The answers always crack them up!

  6. What did the mayonnaise say when somebody opened the refrigerator? "Hey, close the door! I'm dressing!"

  7. Somebody stole all my lamps…. And I couldn't be more de-lighted!

  8. I once met a pig that did karate… We called him Pork Chop!

  9. Coffee has a rough time in our house. It gets mugged every single morning!

  10. My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve!

(Source For All Puns Except The First) https://bestlifeonline.com/bad-funny-puns/

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/punsdaily
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
🚨︎ report
Apparently Rice helps improve your memory.

Just some food for thought.

πŸ‘︎ 14
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πŸ‘€︎ u/n3rv0u5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2018
🚨︎ report
If I make a new and improved fishing lure and name it the pod, will people using it be pod casters?
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThatCoconut
πŸ“…︎ Nov 10 2018
🚨︎ report
They say wine improves with age...

But I still hate it and I'm 45.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving.
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mhayes69123
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2019
🚨︎ report
Where do you send a kid with ADHD during the summer to improve their focus?

Concentration camp

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nwvrie
πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I went to see a mime improv the other day and the performance was spectacular

It goes without saying

πŸ‘︎ 47
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aparks1437
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2018
🚨︎ report
In order to improve our relationship, my neighbor and I have decided to share our water.

We are trying to get a long well.

πŸ‘︎ 39
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2018
🚨︎ report
I've practiced firing my shotgun a lot but I don't think I'm improving.

It's hard to gauge.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a department of United Nations which tries to improve the quality of food in restaurants.

UNEEDCHEF

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sodomicity
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2019
🚨︎ report
You can improve the efficiency of your air conditioner by using it after your air shampoo!
πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2016
🚨︎ report
Not-really-new but improved calculus joke

f(x)=e^x and f(x)=ln(x) walk into a party. After a while, ln(x) is chatting everyone up and having a great time, while e^x is leaning on the wall and sulking. ln(x) asks eΛ£ what's wrong, and e^x says β€œI'm nervous about integrating.” ln(x) replies: β€œOh, it's simple, just be yourself and see.”

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thefizzynator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2017
🚨︎ report
In the 1970s farmers attempted giving weed to cows in order to improve milk production. However, they concluded the steaks were too high.
πŸ‘︎ 58
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RndmRanger
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2018
🚨︎ report
What do websites and people have in common?

They both use cookies to improve their performance

πŸ‘︎ 48
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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelveyrocks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11
🚨︎ report
Help with puns on biblical figures

I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tesla_pasta
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25
🚨︎ report
To all the people waiting to find out how to improve your posture...

Sit tight

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Carrots might improve you vision....

but beer doubles it!

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dadjokesig
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
🚨︎ report
We have a new design! What do you guys think about it?

Hey, since we (the new mods) joined the sub 1,5 months ago we've made some changes, mostly with the rules and some backend stuff. Now I also updated the icon (slightly) and the banner (on redesign and mobile), too.

What do you guys think about it?

Do you like it? ( Yes/No ). What could be improved about it?

Also, are you happy with how we're moderating the subreddit? Are we too strict with the rules or toulouse too loose? Do the rules even make sense?

We want to improve this subreddit and we need your feedback for that, so feel free to speak your mind!

You can either simply leave a comment down here in the thread or send us a message.

Looking forward to your feedback and have a nice day! :)

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yayoletsgo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
I tried to change the wording of the pizza joke to improve it...

But no matter how you slice it, it’s still cheesy, regardless of the delivery.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rom_Dolos
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2018
🚨︎ report
I was escorted by the Bachelorette 4000AI to dinner last night and I must say;

Its the best technological advancement to date!

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DisLuvv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the new and improved Cricut vinyl cutter?

It was developed using cutting edge technology.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnyCharming
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2018
🚨︎ report
I'm taking an improv class [shaggy dog]

and today, we were playing a game of "Yes, Let's!" If you're unfamiliar, that's a group improv exercise where one person says "Let's do a thing!" and everybody else replies "Yes, let's!" and then proceeds to act out the scene. After acting out said scene, somebody freezes, then everybody freezes, and then someone else starts one.

In this case, it was "Let's go to a Michael Jackson tribute concert!" Now, we'd just been coached to assume distinct roles in an attempt to construct a coherent narrative, and so I, as an awkward, scrawny, blond white man, slipped effortlessly into the role of a shitty Michael Jackson impersonator. And I must have been doing something right, because the rest of the group quickly formed a scene as the audience, security, and crew, and stupidity ensued as I sucked at being Michael Jackson for all I was worth.

A few people started heckling, and then one of the audience members barged past security and mimed punching me in the head, whereupon I dramatically spun

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2017
🚨︎ report
My son sent me a recording of a song he wrote. I gave him a suggestion to improve it but he didn't Iike it. He said it was "cheesy" So i said, "Maybe if you worked on your Kraft a little harder you might get a single."
πŸ‘︎ 64
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gocards2579
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2017
🚨︎ report
I got in big trouble for the photos I sent to the women at the office.

I was so proud of my home improvement projects that I got caught sending them unsolicited deck pics.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
🚨︎ report
As a traffic planner I was asked how and where I intended to improve flow through intersections. I pointed on the map and said,

"Roundabout here."

πŸ‘︎ 61
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πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I figured out what the next fast and furious movie will be called

Fast 10: your seatbelts

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/abdullahf01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2018
🚨︎ report
My wife lectured me on how she could improve my tighty whities if she turned them into long johns.

I asked her to keep it brief.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PaxPaw
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Trying to improve people's days with bad puns! youtube.com/watch?v=JVyHu…
πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/trooney1012
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2017
🚨︎ report
The Nordic countries are pooling their resources to improve renewable energy production.

Many Hans make light work.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/rodney_skinner
πŸ“…︎ Nov 03 2015
🚨︎ report
My ex wife still misses me

But her aim is starting to improve

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/cccR3ACH
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Upgrading to the latest version of Microsoft Office can cure your depression.

It really improves your Outlook.

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Perrin42
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2019
🚨︎ report
[Original] The doctor prescribed a man a standing desk for back pain.

He told the man to stand at least 3 hours a day, which should reduce the symptoms - and to come back in a month. A month passes and the doctor is seeing the man again. He asks if the symptoms have improved. The man says, β€œNo, but I’ve only been standing for one hour a day”. The doctor says he understood.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tdrusk
πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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Whoever stole my Microsoft Office, I will find you...

You have my word

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πŸ‘€︎ u/evan2621
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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This one time, all the rooms in a hotel were booked. But then comes this one guy, who asks for a room, in the same hotel, and gets one easily.

Because his name was Improvement. And there's always room for improvement.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/doktorstrange7
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2019
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I had to get up at 4 am the other day to catch the bus. I texted my dad this:

Me: I keep making mistakes at work, but that’s what I get for waking up before the asscrack of dawn.

Dad: I’m sure you’re going to be fine. Take it in stride and improve as you go. And stop talking about dawn’s asscrack. She may find that offensive.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pinetree218
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2019
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The invention of the shovel was groundbreaking,

but the invention of the broom swept the nation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ryyi23
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2016
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What is school?

Minor Improvement

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incompetentSL
πŸ“…︎ Mar 11 2019
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I made an abacus using polo mints and a piece of string ...

... it has improved my menthol arithmetic.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cwwspurs
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2019
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Do you know what I miss?

Small targets that are very far away.

πŸ‘︎ 848
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πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2017
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Did you know that your eyesight actually gets better as you get older?

It's called adult supervision.

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 30 2015
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Did you hear that Don doesn't like improv comedy?

I guess he's not much of a stand-up guy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Dainty_Shiv
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2015
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Trying to improve my dad joke repertoire

After a conversation on the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) and antibiotics research: "Why is the best disease research done in cities on the coast? Because they like to See de Sea!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/walkingvigil
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2014
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Bought a gear building set for my kid

Heard it improves their cognitive skills

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πŸ‘€︎ u/justryingtokeepup
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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A son asks his father for a new car for his birthday...

Son: Dad, I turn 16 in a few months and would really like a car for my birthday.

Father: Well son, I’ll make a deal with you. If you do three things for me, I’ll get you the car. First, you need to improve your grades. Second, I want you to see you in church every Sunday. And finally, I want you to cut your long hair.

A FEW MONTHS PASS

Son: Dad, next week is my birthday and I’ve done everything you asked. Can I get a car?

Father: I did notice you got straight A’s on your report card and I’ve seen you at church every Sunday. But you didn’t cut you hair. I told you to cut your hair.

Son: I wanted to talk to you about that. In bible study I learned that Moses, John the Baptist, and Jesus all had long hair.

Father: Yes they did. And they walked everywhere they went.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Blake4Bama
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2019
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My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is steadily improving
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πŸ‘€︎ u/moses10960
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2017
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My ex-wife still misses me.

But her aim is starting to improve.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2019
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