This Is A Paid advertisement: Have a home project you’re working on? For a limited time, Lowes Home Improvement is now selling Levels 2 for the price of 1!

Multi-level marketing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2020
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I went to the Home Improvement store this weekend and walked past the stud finders...

The noise was unbearable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SerbianTarHeel
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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Home Improvement

Adding new fixtures to the doors in my house has really helped me get a handle on things

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πŸ‘€︎ u/borothy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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Someone once asked me what it's like working at a home improvement store

I said that it had its highs and its Lowes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nickcooper1991
πŸ“…︎ Sep 18 2018
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Boyfriend dad joked me during home improvements

Bf and I were doing some re- plastering in the house yesterday. All the spatula work was really starting to hurt my wrist.

Me: "Damn, honey. My wrist really hurts from all this work."

Him: "Would you say you need some wrist training?"

Me: "Hmmmm...yeah I guess that would help..."

Him: "Then you need a wrist training order"

groans

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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_homeschooler
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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I went to the home improvement store to compare prices on new carpet, wood, and tile.

The prices floored me.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaunceychaunce
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2017
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Shopping at the home improvement store

Just found this subreddit and, being a dad, I figured I needed to share some material...

I'm checking out at the home improvement store, my wife standing next to me as the bubble-headed cashier rings me up. She gets to a bag of six inch galvanized spikes that I was buying for an outdoor project. Trying to look up the price in her book, our ditzy cashier holds one up and says, "Is this nine inches?" I smile and turn to my wife saying, "Her boyfriend must love her. He's got her convinced that that's nice inches..."

At that point my wife slapped me saying, "You're disgusting!" and our little airhead just stood there and had no idea why.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rubikscanopener
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2013
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work at a hardware/home improvement store and overheard this

two customers who know each other begin with the usual greeting (hi, how are you?)

Man1: So what are you here for?

Man2: Coming to get some blinds (similar to window curtains)

Man1: Blinds? Why don't you just cover you eyes?

Man1 then proceeds to cover his eyes whilst having a very hearty chuckle.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 10 2014
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YOU KNOW YOU’RE A DAD WHEN…

β€’ you suddenly know all the words to every Eagles song.

β€’ you get up early on a Saturday morning to make sure you’ll be tired enough for a couch nap that afternoon.

β€’ you change your car’s oil exactly every 2,000 miles.

β€’ mowing the lawn is no longer a chore, but a privilege.

β€’ you can actually tell old John Wayne movies apart.

β€’ your idea of fun is aimlessly wandering around the home improvement section of any store.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/daviscojokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
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I got in big trouble for the photos I sent to the women at the office.

I was so proud of my home improvement projects that I got caught sending them unsolicited deck pics.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GotMyOrangeCrush
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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25 and still getting dad joked.

I was discussing my new job in a home improvement chain's distribution center with my dad and told him I unloaded a truck full of blinds. His response, "Sounds shady."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/that_one_fell
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2015
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My dad joke, what has this subreddit done to me..

So at work I was left in charge of the cashiers (I work at a home improvement store). One of the cashiers comes back from break and our dialogue goes as following:

Cashier: Alright I'm back. Want me to jump on a register?

Me: Well, you can just stand in front of it. I don't think it'll hold your weight if you jump on it.

I was both proud and extremely embarrassed of myself..

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πŸ‘€︎ u/derpslayer27
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2013
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Dad joked by a stranger on the phone.

I work for a large home improvement store in the plumbing department. Every now and then we get phone calls in asking general plumbing questions. This is how my conversation went the other day.

"Hi, thanks for calling [store name]. This is plumbing"

To which I got

"Hi, plumbing. This is Ron"

ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Buttnugget_
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2014
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I found Bernie Sanders' brother...

I work selling home improvements supplies/ tools in a department store. My co-worker and I were putting new products on the shelves, and I happened to grab some power sanders, so I remarked to my co -worker that

I found Bernie Sanders' brother, DeWalt Sanders.

(DeWalt is a brand of hand and power tools.)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seekerman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2016
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Never thought my dad would do it

My parents are both immigrants from Taiwan and came in the mid 80's. We've always owned restaurants (currently have a Japanese steak house this is important for later) so their English isn't all that bad and has improved over time. I've never gotten a single dad joke from him. Ever.

Que yesterday we are driving home from a family dinner to celebrate his birthday. We all get into the vehicle and my mom says in Chinese "You've got something hanging onto your shirt, it looks stringy. Is that a spider web?"

I respond, "What? That's his pet, he can't raise a pet spider?"

Dad says, "Yeah I raise them really big and fat so we can make spider rolls at the restaurant." (Spider roll is typically softshell crab in a roll with other stuffs for the non-sushi fans out there)

I groaned, chuckled, then reveled in all that was my first dad joke. It was awesome. Thanks for reading guys! Sorry it's so long.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DROpher
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2015
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