I had nothing to do so I thought of personally mixing the small leaves of a low-growing aromatic plant of the mint family.
But I knew I’d end up with too much Thyme on my hands
Why does the capital of Ireland keep growing?
Because it keeps Dublin and Dublin in size.
I’m growing suspicious of my light switch
When I was growing up, I wanted to become a monk.
Won an award for growing the biggest pickle in the state.
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual
It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!
My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up.
But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.
Growing Fruit Trees
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "What do you know about growing fruit trees?" he asks the bartender. "Why do you ask?" the bartender replies. "My wife just told me to grow a pear," the guy replies. "I don't know how that's going to help me kill that spider she was complaining about...."
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up.
The new LEGO store is having it's grand opening today and the crowd is growing.
Folks are lined up for blocks!
Why were your parents so honest with you growing up?
Beacuse they were trans-parents
Growing up, there was a time my parents couldn't pay the electric bill.
It was the darkest day of my life.
I was very poor growing up. On my 10th birthday we bought half a cake with 5 candles.
We put it against a mirror.
What do you call money growing on trees?
A kid asked his dad, "what kind of music did you listen to growing up?" The dad said "I was big into Led Zeppelin." The son asked "who?"
"Yeah" the dad replied, "I liked them too."
My neighbor just got arrested for illegally growing Marijuana.
Turns out my property line is not as far as I thought it was.
r/coronavirus is officially the fastest-growing community on Reddit
It must be viral.
Edit: OMG Thank you for the gold, kind stranger!
After my failed attempt at growing vegetables this year, I've decided to become a music producer.
I've got a ton of sick beets.
Ireland has the worlds fastest growing capital city...
The Evil Queen was great at growing poisoned apples.
She was, however, terrible at cultivating evil pluots.
A man walks in to a doctors with a strawberry growing on his head.
Doctor: Would you like some cream for that?
My grandmother was famous all over town for growing delicious strawberries.
She made me promise that when she died, I would plant her strawberries on her grave so that people could enjoy them when they visited.
When she passed away I fulfilled my promise.
She’s dead and berried.
My friend asked if I knew about growing root vegetables.
I told him I just know of a neighbor who grows them. I haven’t dug deeper.
Two Thirty, heard this pun a thousand times growing up in a house of dentists.
I think there's something wrong with the cactus I'm growing,
but I can’t put my finger on it.
I decided to try growing pot...
So I buried a saucepan in my yard. I hear it takes no skillet all. Just water it with Kettle One and wok away without really frying. Hopefully it’ll produce a nice stock.
Over quarantine I’ve really gotten into gardening. I am especially enamored with growing chard varieties. So much so I’ve written a book of poems about their taproots.
I hope to one day be recognized as the beet poet of our generation!
Did you know you start out with four kidneys, but lose two of them growing up?
They turn into adult knees.
Be easy guys this is my first semi original dad joke.
What does a pear tree do before growing it's fruit?
Those who were firm in their beliefs when China banned marijuana...the people who kept growing and selling.
They are known as the pot stickers.
I found mushrooms growing from the bathroom ceiling in my NYC apartment (typical) and called my dad to see what I should do about it.
He immediately said, “Well, I wouldn’t eat them.”
A man goes to the doctor with a strawberry growing out of his head. The doctor said...
“I’ll give you some cream to put on that”.
Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were fighting once when Draco decided to curse Harry with a Hair Growing Spell that grows hair instantly. Ron passed by and said:
Students can now enroll in weed-growing classes.
My best friend growing up is a famous author of marine life books now.
He's mostly known for his polyp fiction.
Growing up, my Dad was King of the TP empire.
I guess that makes me Prince Charmin.
There has been a growing phenomenon on the African plains where male lions have been turning homosexual
It has started to decimate the population since they aren't mating with the female lions. People are calling it the worst infestation of dandy-lions in history!
What’s the Fastest Growing City on Earth?
The capital of Ireland.
It’s Dublin every day.
Which country's capital has the fastest-growing population?
Ireland. Every day it's Dublin
What country capital has the fastest growing population?
Ireland, every day its... Dublin.
What country has the fastest growing capital?
Ireland, because it's always Dublin.
Which population has the fastest growing population?
Ireland
It's Dublin every year
My son asked me, “What was your favourite music to listen to when growing up?” I said, “Led Zeppelin”.
My son: Who?
Me: Yes, they were good too.
“Dad, whose music did you listen to when growing up?”
Dad: Led Zeppelin.
Son: Who?
Dad: Yes. They were good too.
I think there’s something wrong with the cactus I’m growing.
But I can’t put my finger on it!
I was just reminiscing about the beautiful herb garden I had when I was growing up
My wife told me that my quarantine beard is really growing on her.
What do you know, it's growing on me too.
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