Did you hear about the recent advancements in jackhammer technology?
My girlfriend said a job with the alcohol distributor offers a lot of advancement opportunities...
You might even say the SKYY is the limit.
I'll see myself out.
Maybe a repost, apologies in advance, but man this is surely a first class pun!
My wife has been taking a course in advanced electrics and it's taken over her life. Everything she says these days concerns resistors, transformers, circuitry, voltage, ampage etc. All fucking day long, I've tried explaining to her it's driving a wedge between us, but she won't listen to reason.
She just buries her head in the sand like an off switch.
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...
Philately will get you nowhere
Who's the most technologically advanced rodent?
I just thought of this today as I was driving... I’m sorry in advance 😂 I saw this sign the other day, and it had rounded edges
It was kinda pointless...
I've been planning meals in advance a lot lately..
..and it has given me food forethought.
You really shouldn't be intimidated by advanced math…
There was this really advanced and expensive cologne that came out last week.
Looking for a sailing/ nautical punch pub
I’m looking for a punny Nautical pun for a punch I am serving.
Thank you in advance for any ideas
Why are goats considered an advanced species?
They're always living on the bleating edge.
I don't really understand the game of starting out calling plays for T-ball games then advancing to calling plays in the World Series...
The whole idea of Forge of Umpires confuses me.
Without a heads up in advance.
What’s the scent of the most advanced deodorant technology?
Why were people in the middle ages so medival and when did people advance from being mid-evil to advanced-evil?
Sorry in advance, dark mode users!
My wife said that I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
China seems so much more advanced than America....
It's like they're a decade ahead.
An advanced form of Nanatechnology
Best 'ice' puns. Go!
What are the best 'ice puns'? Trying to name a project in opposition to U.S. Immigrations and Customs Enforcement, or ICE. Ideas needed. Thx in advance 🙏🏼 Have a punderful day!
Blood and Organ related puns please
So a colleague is leaving my work (transfusion medicine lab) to work as an information manager for the organ transplant service. I make cards and I’m trying to think up something punny to write on/in his card and I’ll paint a picture on the front for context. I was thinking like “bloody good luck” or “sorry you’re transplanting”... but less shitty!
Thanks in advance :)
I was diagnosed with an advanced case of ADHD.
The people of New Zealand are much more advanced than us
They live in a decade above us.
Advanced IQ Dad Joke
So I heard Minecraft recently passed Fortnite as most searched game.
Whoever made the game must have really brought it up a Notch.
A new study is showing surprising advances in primate evolution: Dr. Thomas Ink, a researcher in southern Africa has found certain groups of apes 'brewing' alcohol by leaving old fruit to stand in water pools then drinking from it and becoming inebriated.
Dr. Ink has dubbed these 'Monkey Bars'.
Dad joke 101
Kid: dad, I’m hungry.
Dad: hey hungry, my name is _______
Sorry in advance
I apologize in advance for this
If he won't talk I guess it's just a stairing contest
[MEME] I’m sorry in advance
I've been trying to read a book called "The Advanced Art of Lockpicking"
But I just can't get into it.
I’m sorry in advanced
I told a pilot to try my cooking
He said it was plane
What do you call moving herbs?
How advanced are the inner workings of a submarine?
Background: I took my Mom to see my Dad who has advanced dementia. We were watching the Phillies game in TV.
Dad: It sure is a nice day for a baseball game.
Mom: Tomorrow it will be too
Dad: Oh, it’s a doubleheader?
Mom and me: 🤔
Dad: Wry smile
Me: Dad, you still got it
I just read a patent application for a device that advances through a book while you read it.
It was a real page-turner.
Gotta admit, this one got me.
What do you do when a drunk sheep is making unwanted advances on all the ladies at your local bar?
My wife told me I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait.”
My wife thinks I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
My wife thinks I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I told her, “Just you wait.”
My wife told me I won’t advance in my career because I procrastinate too much.
I said, “Oh yeah? Just you wait!”
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