What do you call a finance minister who successfully completes his term in the office? BUCK-MINSTER-FULLER-RENE
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sameer_gulzar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2020
🚨︎ report
What would you call a vampire who is into finance?

Account Dracula

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/viwanshu
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2020
🚨︎ report
I hired a prostitute to manage the family's finances. My wife hated the idea, but I said heck...

... It's the thot that counts.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KingOfHearts94
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I am great with personal finance!

The last time I checked my credit card bill they said it was outstanding !

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DesaturatedPanda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
🚨︎ report
When the queen of England has a project and finance it herself. Is it called crownfunding ?
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ohzioh
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
🚨︎ report
I'm devastated that my son has chosen a career in finance rather than taking over the family wheat farm.

He's going against the grain.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsthearistocrat
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m so good at finance...

Even my bank says my balance is outstanding.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lindserrific
πŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2018
🚨︎ report
I’m going to finance a theatrical production performed on a stage covered in pages from the dictionary.

It will be a play on words.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhiteWalterBlack
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
🚨︎ report
Met a HOT girl who said she works in finance

So I asked her, "Do you build or are you a financial model?"

I continued..."Sorry I know that you think that pickup line was WACC; hopefully just 7% or so."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spelingbchamp
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2019
🚨︎ report
In my personal finance class we talked about...
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/faded_eagle
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2018
🚨︎ report
Finance Department

Me on the phone talking to insurance company: "finance department helped us"

Son [6] after phone call: "daddy what's the finance department?"

Me: "they helped us with money to buy the car"

Ridley "oh I thought they go find ants"

... I've been out done by a six year old...

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/numberfourdad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2018
🚨︎ report
Finance graduation cap puns/ideas!?!?!
πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/papercup1212
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2017
🚨︎ report
When I told my Dad I quit teaching to work in finance

He asked

"Will that make you a traitor or a trader?"

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dsherwoodmathman
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my gf as we were going over our finances

We live together and split the bills. She sends me the money via EFT. She usually puts a little note in the memo section. This time she writes "You have a nice butt."

I replied to the email notification, "You just paid my butt a compliment."

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/hu_lee_oh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 31 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad about his finances

Dad and his friend are talking about my tuition

Friend: Did you get financial aid?

Dad: No but I financially have aids now

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/spicyitallian
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2015
🚨︎ report
What did the Lawyer say after having a tough financial year?

My income is low-er and this maybe my career's financy low-year.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Nnntridib
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2020
🚨︎ report
[Request] Can anyone please help me come up with a business name that is a Bob's Burgers-level pun?

The neighboring store front and exterminator van in the opening credits have the best punny business names and always crack me up. I'm a fan and would love to name my business in a similar fashion. ETA Examples: I'd Hit That Boxing Gym. Lady and the Clamp, Hardware for Her. A Fridge Too Far. Cupid's Stupid, Divorce Attorneys. A Ton in the Oven, Big and Tall Baby Clothes. Let's Scissor! Collage Studio. Don't Stop Bereaving, Grief Counseling.

But I am So. Stuck.

A little background about my business idea: I'm a personal/sometimes virtual assistant specializing in household admin and management. I'm marketing mostly towards blue collar men who might be widows/divorcees who never had to worry about the general finances and household paperwork. Some of the services offered are: budget setting, bill paying, appointment setting/calendar management, travel arrangements, errands, personal & grocery shopping, pet & house sitting, etc...

I'm ready to take the next steps in making this an actual business and take out some ad space, but the perfectionist in me NEEDS a brilliant name. Can someone please help me? The best I can come up with is some sort of play on Pepper Potts, but I see quite a few VAs out there with that as a business name. I will gift a platinum to the one I like the best if that's appropriate.

Thank you in advance! πŸ”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/EmElleGee31
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Loan me 50 dollars

One of the classic Β Abbott and Costello Β routines, where Bud Abbott takes advantage of a common math mistake that we all make to fleece his pal, Lou Costello, out of all of his money. Β The skit ends with a simple β€˜read my mind’ routine that takes Lou’s last remaining bill. Β This routine was done Β many Β times, both in the movies and their radio show.

Bud Abbott: Do me a favor, loan me $50.
Lou Costello: Bud, I can’t. I can’t loan you $50.
Bud Abbott: Oh, yes, ya can.
Lou Costello: No, I can’t. All I got is $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, give me the $40 and you’ll owe me 10 Β 
Lou Costello: Ok, I’ll owe you 10.
Bud Abbott: That’s right.
Lou Costello: How come I owe you 10?
Bud Abbott: How much did I ask for?
Lou Costello: 50
Bud Abbott: How much did you give me?
Lou Costello: 40.
Bud Abbott: So you owe me $10.
Lou Costello: That’s right. Β [Pause] But you owe me 40.
Bud Abbott: Don’t change the subject.
Lou Costello: I’m not changing the subject; you’re trying to change my finances. Come on, Abbott give me my $40.
Bud Abbott: All right, there’s your $40, now give me the 10 you owe me.
Lou Costello: I’m paying you on account.
Bud Abbott: On account?
Lou Costello: On account I don’t know how I owe it to ya.
Bud Abbott: That’s the way you feel about it, that’s the last time I ask you for a loan of $50.
Lou Costello: But how can I loan ya $50, now. All I got is 30.
Bud Abbott: Well, give me the 30 and you’ll owe me 20.
Lou Costello: Ok. This is getting worse all the time. (Look at audience) First I owe him 10, now I owe him 20.
Bud Abbott: Well, why do you run yourself into debt?
Lou Costello: I’m not running in, you’re pushing me!1
Bud Abbott: I can’t help it if you can’t handle your finances. I do all right with my money.
Lou Costello: And you do all right with my money too.
Bud Abbott: Now I asked you for a loan of $50. You gave me 30, so you owe me 20. 20 and 30 is 50.
Lou Costello: No. No. No. 25 and 25 is 50.
Bud Abbott: All right, here’s your $30, now give me the 20 you owe me. Fine guy, won’t loan a pal $50.

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2019
🚨︎ report
Care to create a pun for change?

I'm working on a silly project for my job, and I'm trying to come up with punny fake names for the name tags. I work at a community bank - anything finance and banking product or industry related is good, I am god awful at puns and so far I've only got these:

Ann U. Ities Dee Posit Owen A. Lott

Punmasters and fans, lend me your talents? :)

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/outfoxthefox
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2016
🚨︎ report
Why should you never count your money while standing on an ant hill?

You might finance in your pants!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Hephsters
πŸ“…︎ Jan 19 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the combination of Finland and France?

Finance

I work in a retail store with credit card financing signs all over the place. It was slow and boring, so I fixated on said word.

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Seekerman
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the man with a passion for accounting?

Finance was his principal interest.

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jack_Forman
πŸ“…︎ Jul 11 2013
🚨︎ report
My jam business failed

My finances got spread too thin

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thejazz97
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2017
🚨︎ report
Need some creative help for making a t-shirt for a school group.

Using this image, can you give me a good catch phrase that is punny using around 7 letters or fewer, and having something to do with taxes, finance, helping people. The t-shirt is for a volunteer group at a law school that helps indigent people file taxes and participates in community education and advocacy in the area of financial literacy.

Thanks for all of your help!

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/beef_creature
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2013
🚨︎ report
Office "Dad Joke Master" Gave Me a Chuckle Today

I was passing through the halls of my workplace past the storage room when a guy from finance comes out with a cart full of paper. He said to me,

Him: "Hey Tim."

Me: "Hey, how's it going?"

Him: "I'm good," he motions to his paper filled cart, "just pushing paper.."

I got a good chuckle out of that. That dude always has the jokes.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TypicalTim
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2015
🚨︎ report
Told my dad a dad joke during a stressful time.

My dad has been very stressed about finances during some remodeling and roof repairs on our house. All around depressed sort of mood. Someone started talking about dinner and I told him the classic. "I was gonna become a vegetarian but realized that would be a big missedsteak. He laughs out loud for 10 minutes and changed his mood for the day. Thanks /r/dadjokes

πŸ‘︎ 28
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jockrock
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2014
🚨︎ report
Corporate Structure..

I was talking to my girlfriend about the sorority structure with President and all the various vice presidents.

She mentioned that another sorority uses a corporate structure..

Gf: "Rather than president they have a CEO and instead of a vice president of finance they have a CFO."

Me: "So do they have a Chief Operating Officer?"

Gf: "Yeah, I think so."

Me: "Oh, that's coo."

Snickered a bit and she just gave me that "you're kidding look."

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/radddchaddd
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Just heard the best dad joke ever from my teacher.

My personal finance teacher who's a father of two just said this after he was asked what animal he would be. "I would be a crocogator. It's got an alligator head on one end and a crocodile head on the other end. It's the scariest animal in the world! Wanna know why? Because it doesn't have anyway to go to the bathroom!". Got a slight chuckle from everybody.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tyjames03
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2014
🚨︎ report
Got my job trainer while learning the ropes.

Recently hired into a job where part of my duties will involve managing finances for individuals with intellectual disabilities. Trainer started going over all the ethical hoops we have to jump to.

"Man, they've got all sorts of checks and balances."

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Falkynbird
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2015
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.