I went to the casino to play blackjack. The dealer got 21 and I got 18.
It really wasnβt iDEAL.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
What do you call an iguana who runs a casino?
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︎ Feb 23 2021
Why did the Dalai Lama go to the casino?
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︎ Mar 04 2021
Whatβs the best thing about a Buddhist casino?
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︎ Feb 17 2021
What is the name of a casino that even kids can gamble in?
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︎ Jan 28 2021
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
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︎ Dec 22 2020
You would think that the state that is most popular for Casino's and lucrative businesses...
...would be better at counting
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︎ Nov 06 2020
When will they come to a consensus about snacks in the casino?
When everybody Layβs their chips on the table.
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︎ Oct 27 2020
Why did the casino groundskeeper get fired?
He thought the 2.5% rake policy applied to leaves.
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︎ Nov 04 2020
In Vegas, people can tithe by dropping casino chips in the offertory.
At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.
Heβs the Chip Monk.
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︎ Sep 01 2020
Vlad Putinβs new casino in Moscow failed.
Apparently nobody wanted to play Russian Roulette.
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︎ Aug 25 2020
Did you guys hear about the Leopard they banned from the casino?
It seems they thought he was a Cheetah.
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︎ Apr 13 2020
My husband he told me he wanted to work at the casino, as a greeter. So he could sit at the door and say...
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︎ Jun 14 2020
At the casino a woman accused me of assault
And I say "But I'm the blackjack dealer, it's my job to hit people."
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︎ Apr 13 2020
The casino was giving a lucky winner a Toyota.
It's a Corolla of the dice.
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︎ Feb 19 2020
Casino Joke
So the other day I won a game of blackjack and the dealer said "Congratulations, you won 1000 chips!" I replied "Awesome! What flavor?"
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︎ Apr 24 2020
I'm opening up a casino that only pays out in beef
It's called Risk it for Brisket
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︎ Nov 12 2019
I called the casino to ask why the used card decks I ordered were still undelivered.
They assured me they were dealing with it.
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︎ Jun 17 2019
What did the casino's elevator attendant say after a cow left the elevator?
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︎ Jan 03 2020
What's it called when a couple of cows are playing poker in a penthouse casino?
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︎ Dec 18 2019
A midget chef had to quit his job at a casino
He said the steaks were too high
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︎ May 28 2017
Had an awful meal at a casino in Las Vegas
The chips tasted of plastic.
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︎ Nov 24 2019
Why don't casinos let cattle farmers play?
They are always raising the steaks.
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︎ Aug 05 2019
I played poker at a casino that was out of toilet paper
I had shitty hands the rest of the night.
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︎ Sep 15 2019
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But Iβll learn to deal with it.
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︎ Aug 18 2019
Did you hear they arrested a T-Rex after he was hired on at the casino?
He turned out to be a small arms dealer.
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︎ Jun 12 2018
Last night my dad got kicked out of a casino.
He told me he just misunderstood the craps table.
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︎ Aug 28 2019
At the casino, what department did the vampire work in?
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︎ Sep 25 2019
Why are there no casinos in Africa?
Because there are too many cheetas
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︎ Apr 27 2018
Went to a Indian casino/hotel , the other day.
Didn't accept my reservation.
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︎ Jun 02 2019
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
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︎ Nov 12 2018
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
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︎ Apr 06 2019
Did you hear that Marie Kondo opened a casino?
Guess she knows when to hold 'em and fold 'em.
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︎ Feb 18 2019
Where do casinos put people who are forced to listen to dad jokes?
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︎ Dec 02 2018
Iβm an accountant for Hallmark... they throw me out of casinos now because Iβm a βprofessional card counterβ.
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︎ Oct 25 2018
Why arenβt there Vegas-style casinos in Africa?
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︎ Dec 10 2017
Why was John Milton banned from the casino?
Every time he came in, there was a pair of dice lost.
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︎ Jun 04 2018
Daughter said she was doing shitty at the casino
I said, βWhatβre you playing, craps?β
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︎ Apr 21 2018
Why aren't there any casinos in africa?
Because of all the cheetahs
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︎ Feb 13 2018
Did you hear about the midget chef who left his job at the casino?
He said the steaks were too high.
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︎ Apr 06 2019
Why are there no casinos in Africa!
Because they are too many CHEETAHS!!!!!
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︎ Jan 19 2018
Why aren't there any casinos in Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs
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︎ Jul 26 2013
Why are there no casino's in Africa?
There are too many cheetas
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︎ Jan 09 2017
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