I went to the casino to play blackjack. The dealer got 21 and I got 18.
What do you call an iguana who runs a casino?
Why did the Dalai Lama go to the casino?
What’s the best thing about a Buddhist casino?
What is the name of a casino that even kids can gamble in?
Hey dad, can we stop at the casino at the next exit?
Dad: Sure, why?
Son: I need to go to the bathroom and the sign says they have the best craps in the state.
You would think that the state that is most popular for Casino's and lucrative businesses...
...would be better at counting
In Vegas, people can tithe by dropping casino chips in the offertory.
At the end of the weekend there is a Brother that goes around to all the casinos to cash them out and make a deposit.
He’s the Chip Monk.
When will they come to a consensus about snacks in the casino?
When everybody Lay’s their chips on the table.
Why did the casino groundskeeper get fired?
He thought the 2.5% rake policy applied to leaves.
Vlad Putin’s new casino in Moscow failed.
Apparently nobody wanted to play Russian Roulette.
Did you guys hear about the Leopard they banned from the casino?
It seems they thought he was a Cheetah.
The casino was giving a lucky winner a Toyota.
It's a Corolla of the dice.
At the casino a woman accused me of assault
And I say "But I'm the blackjack dealer, it's my job to hit people."
Casino Joke
So the other day I won a game of blackjack and the dealer said "Congratulations, you won 1000 chips!" I replied "Awesome! What flavor?"
I'm opening up a casino that only pays out in beef
It's called Risk it for Brisket
I called the casino to ask why the used card decks I ordered were still undelivered.
They assured me they were dealing with it.
A midget chef had to quit his job at a casino
He said the steaks were too high
What did the casino's elevator attendant say after a cow left the elevator?
What's it called when a couple of cows are playing poker in a penthouse casino?
Had an awful meal at a casino in Las Vegas
The chips tasted of plastic.
Why don't casinos let cattle farmers play?
They are always raising the steaks.
I played poker at a casino that was out of toilet paper
I had shitty hands the rest of the night.
Did you hear they arrested a T-Rex after he was hired on at the casino?
He turned out to be a small arms dealer.
Working the poker table at the casino with my new prosthetic hand is going to be a challenge,
But I’ll learn to deal with it.
Why are there no casinos in Africa?
Because there are too many cheetas
Last night my dad got kicked out of a casino.
He told me he just misunderstood the craps table.
At the casino, what department did the vampire work in?
Went to a Indian casino/hotel , the other day.
Didn't accept my reservation.
a casino was offering free mexican food for all who lost more than $50 in gambling
this is because its clearly nacho lucky day if you lost that much
I tried opening a casino even though gambling was outlawed
Did you hear that Marie Kondo opened a casino?
Guess she knows when to hold 'em and fold 'em.
Where do casinos put people who are forced to listen to dad jokes?
I’m an accountant for Hallmark... they throw me out of casinos now because I’m a “professional card counter”.
Why aren’t there Vegas-style casinos in Africa?
Why was John Milton banned from the casino?
Every time he came in, there was a pair of dice lost.
Daughter said she was doing shitty at the casino
I said, “What’re you playing, craps?”
Why aren't there any casinos in africa?
Because of all the cheetahs
Did you hear about the midget chef who left his job at the casino?
He said the steaks were too high.
Why are there no casinos in Africa!
Because they are too many CHEETAHS!!!!!
Why aren't there any casinos in Africa?
Because there are too many cheetahs
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