Got my sisters whole family with my dumb owl joke, with a bonus follow up groaner
Me: I don't wanna alarm anyone, but I think someone in this room might be an owl.
Sisters kids: Who? WHO?
Me: gasp OH NO IT'S WORSE THAN I THOUGHT!
cue 2 hours of 4 small kids running around the house like nutcases screaming who at each other
Sister: You don't get to tell my kids dad jokes anymore. You're not even a dad
Me: I'm a faux pas
My sister didn't get my pun
Karl Marx is an historically famous figure, but nobody ever mentions his sister...
Onya Marx, who invented the starting pistol.
I just found a whip, mask and some handcuffs in my sisters room.
I just had no idea she was a superhero.
My sister asked me to stop singing “Wonderwall”
What did the cell say when their sister stepped on their toe?
My sister told me she was constipated
I told her, she was full of crap
Did you know Darth Vader had a sister?
What do you call a Catholic Sister who's an expert in stealth and martial arts?
What do sisters do for fun in the convent?
Nun of our business really, but I suspect it's habit-forming.
Did you know Cardi-B has a sister?
She's an athletic trainer
Her name is Cardi-O
My sister had a baby, she hopes it’ll save the relationship...
But I still don’t talk to her
My sister has been reading game of thrones and she really liked the line "the sound of steel on steel"
So she decided to steel it
My sister just delivered a baby...
I knew she had it in her.
Do you know Cardi B has a sister who’s an athletic trainer ?
My Dad’s sister got eaten by a lion with a long nose
My 9-month-old ate part of her sister's math homework.
Now we're waiting to see if she passes algebra.
Son: My sister is making me INSANE.
Me: Did she push you off of a Parisian bridge?
Wife: 🤦♀️
Tried telling my sister a terrorist joke
I always wanted my sister to have a son that I could pass on my wisdom to, but I'm so happy she had her little girl, Denise.
Because a kid named Denephew would probably get picked on a lot.
My dad's sisters can't get covid
My sister is freaked out by the Apocalypse.
My sister is going on a date for coffee with a guy named joe....
You could say she’s going for a cup with Joe.....
My step sister and I share the same dad.
But her birth was a whole wifetime ago
My sister is a nun and she doesn't like dad jokes
that's why we stick with father jokes
My sister, the biologist, was studying cell division when she dropped her microscope on my toe.
Australian tennis star Bernard Tomic's sister, Ana, agreeing with her friend Ally about the positions of body parts
Any engineers here? My trans sister is one.
My sister might as well be a Dad
TIL that Jackie Onassis Kennedy has a famous sister. She is practically a household name.
May Onassis, she married into the Helmanns family.
Ever wondered what to say to your sister when she’s crying ?
“Are you having a crisis ?”
My sister fell in love with a welder.
What do you get when your sensitive and overly dramatic sister stubs her toe?
My sister asked "When do my wisdom teeth come in?"
"If they haven't yet, its probably because Amazon shipping has been delayed." I said.
As she was laughing, I shrugged. "I thought that was a good one. I just came to me," I paused, "Probably because I have Prime."
What does your mother's sister eat when she's mad?
What do you call your sister who joins ISIS?
What do you say when your sister steps on your foot and breaks your toe in half?
Just happened. My kids are running around blowing a party noise marker. My wife's sister says " it sounds like an elephant in there"
I look up, straight faced, and calmly reply, "yeah, we don't talk about that.."
My wife buried her face for a good minute.. I'm proud of that one.
EDIT: I showed my wife how many ppl thought this was funny and she told me to say "please don't encourage him" .. :)
My sister's family lost their only income when his husband got fired from his job making shoes, baguettes and sausages.
He was their sole bread wiener.
My sister fell for a musician.
My sister in law told me a time traveling joke I was gonna share with ya all..
I've just found some whips, mask and some handcuffs in my sisters room....
Absolutely had no idea she was a superhero !!!
TIL that Cardi B has a sister. She’s a personal trainer.
Did you know Cardi B has a sister who’s a fitness instructor?
Karl Marx is a historically famous philosopher, but no one mentions his sister
Onya, the inventor of the starting pistol
I've just found a whip, mask and some handcuffs in my sisters room...
Had no idea she was a superhero.
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