She's the new Miss Stake.
Last family picnic my sister in law made a really good fruit salad. I was talking with her an my spouse’s aunt about it. SIL was saying how she’d gotten a mini pineapple and mini watermelon for the salad.
The aunt asks “where’s you get all these mini fruit”
Without skipping a beat I reply “the minimart!”
Me: "I guess you could say it was a...cluster duck."
She recently got married and took the last name of her husband, which happened to be "Kind".
At the wedding party, I got asked what I like most about my sister-in-law.
My answer: "I really appreciate the marriage, because no matter how much I annoy her now, she won't get mad. She'll always be Kind."
The look on her face said: she did not see that coming. She was annoyed.
...but remained kind.
My sister-in-law posted on her Facebooks, “What time does church start on Christmas Eve? Is is 5 or 530? I can never remember.”
I responded,”it sounds like you are suffering from Mass confusion.”
Not sure if she made it in time.
Brother in law, "you know our twins have already said their first words?" Sister, "Oh?" Brother in law: "Yeah... we're hungry, fetus!"
... I think there was even groaning in the uterus...
Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.
SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.
Me: 360 is a round number.
Brother to his wife: "Colleen" just called, Sister in law: "What was she Colleen for?"
My sister: We were out of brown sugar so I used sugar and molasses. Brother-in-law: How did the moles feel about that?
He then proceeded to laugh like a maniac when I groaned loudly.
Snow storm coming soon. SiL: "What should I get at the food store in case the power goes out?"
Dad: "Power Bars!!"
Without skipping a beat!
"If you wear cowboy clothes.... are you ranch dressing?"
I was showing my wife and sister in law this video of a girl that had painted pants on and walked through NY. At the end it showed a close up of the front and you couldn't even tell it was a bare vagina, it just looked like jeans. My wife shakes her head and says "That's nuts!" And without skipping a beat my SIS says "no, I'm pretty sure that's a vagina".
After discussing death.
Her: this is a dark party
Me to my gf: hun can someone turn on the lamp? (Turns on lamp)
Me to gf sister-in-law: that better?
Sister: "I'm really thinking of a shih tzu."
Brother-in-law: "I don't know, I think it's a pretty good zoo."
I recently got an electric violin and an amp for my birthday and my sister in law was asking my mom how I liked it. Mom replied with, "She loves it, she's pretty amped about it."
I was in the other room giggling. So proud of her.