My sister-in-law accidentally won a beauty pageant for vampire hunters

She's the new Miss Stake.

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WideEyedWand3rer
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14
🚨︎ report
My sister-in-law's grandfather used to tell stories of how he used to drill holes in stuff for a living...

How boring!

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26
🚨︎ report
I’m talking with my sister in law about the fruit salad she made (my best quick response I’ve ever had)

Last family picnic my sister in law made a really good fruit salad. I was talking with her an my spouse’s aunt about it. SIL was saying how she’d gotten a mini pineapple and mini watermelon for the salad.

The aunt asks β€œwhere’s you get all these mini fruit”

Without skipping a beat I reply β€œthe minimart!”

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Coldovia
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2019
🚨︎ report
Sister-in-law: "We saw thousands of ducks this morning! They were swooping all over the place, acting crazy!"

Me: "I guess you could say it was a...cluster duck."

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/halexmorph
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2019
🚨︎ report
I got asked what I like about my sister-in-law

She recently got married and took the last name of her husband, which happened to be "Kind".

At the wedding party, I got asked what I like most about my sister-in-law.

My answer: "I really appreciate the marriage, because no matter how much I annoy her now, she won't get mad. She'll always be Kind."

The look on her face said: she did not see that coming. She was annoyed.

...but remained kind.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_Buff_Tucker_
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2019
🚨︎ report
My someday sister-in-law is getting hand surgery tomorrow, and is looking for some cheering up. Looking to add to my pun repertoire!
πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/lexxer90
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2017
🚨︎ report
Got my sister-in-law in biblical fashion

My sister-in-law posted on her Facebooks, β€œWhat time does church start on Christmas Eve? Is is 5 or 530? I can never remember.”

I responded,”it sounds like you are suffering from Mass confusion.”

Not sure if she made it in time.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Theeclat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
🚨︎ report
My sister is expecting twins. My brother in law got her real good at dinner.

Brother in law, "you know our twins have already said their first words?" Sister, "Oh?" Brother in law: "Yeah... we're hungry, fetus!"

... I think there was even groaning in the uterus...

πŸ‘︎ 259
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ManChildMusician
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2014
🚨︎ report
My wife and sister in law taking about rent.

Wife: You can just pay us $360, since it's half of the mortgage.

SIL: How about we make it $400, I like round numbers.

Me: 360 is a round number.

πŸ‘︎ 48
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mustdashgaming
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2016
🚨︎ report
My sister in law dad joked my brother!

Brother to his wife: "Colleen" just called, Sister in law: "What was she Colleen for?"

Laughter ensued.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/trenton00
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2016
🚨︎ report
Brother-in-law dad joked my sister

My sister: We were out of brown sugar so I used sugar and molasses. Brother-in-law: How did the moles feel about that?

He then proceeded to laugh like a maniac when I groaned loudly.

πŸ‘︎ 51
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/a_pathetic_owl
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2014
🚨︎ report
Sister in Law's Dad got us good.

Snow storm coming soon. SiL: "What should I get at the food store in case the power goes out?"

Dad: "Power Bars!!"

Without skipping a beat!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mohawktricker101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 22 2016
🚨︎ report
ex-sister-in-law jokes grew penis, became father.

"If you wear cowboy clothes.... are you ranch dressing?"

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/margraves
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2015
🚨︎ report
Sister in law is gonna be a great dad.

I was showing my wife and sister in law this video of a girl that had painted pants on and walked through NY. At the end it showed a close up of the front and you couldn't even tell it was a bare vagina, it just looked like jeans. My wife shakes her head and says "That's nuts!" And without skipping a beat my SIS says "no, I'm pretty sure that's a vagina".

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saywh4t
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes gf sister-in-law

After discussing death.

Her: this is a dark party

Me to my gf: hun can someone turn on the lamp? (Turns on lamp)

Me to gf sister-in-law: that better?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thebandnerd
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2014
🚨︎ report
I was at the zoo this summer with my sister and brother-in-law, and we started discussing what type of dog they wanted to get for their daughter.

Sister: "I'm really thinking of a shih tzu."

Brother-in-law: "I don't know, I think it's a pretty good zoo."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jawshoowa
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2014
🚨︎ report
My mom got my sister in law with this one. I'm so proud.

I recently got an electric violin and an amp for my birthday and my sister in law was asking my mom how I liked it. Mom replied with, "She loves it, she's pretty amped about it."

I was in the other room giggling. So proud of her.

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/peanucle
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad joked Sister-in-law

Walking through Cambridge:

Sister-in-law:"I want to know where the lions are!"

Me (Dad): "Lions?"

S-I-L:"Yes, this place is called Lion Yard, where are the lions? "

Me: "I think they might be lion about that..." πŸ˜†

S-I-L:πŸ˜‘

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SquiffSquiff
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.