My wife couldn’t believe I took my old high school bully out tonight.

I love being a sniper.

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/badindc
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2021
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What do you call an old-school linux user who also likes to go to clothing optional beaches?

A gnudist!

πŸ‘︎ 18
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πŸ‘€︎ u/eat-rainbows
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2021
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This happened a while back, I was dropping my 7 year old school son to school. β€œSon, hurry up, we’re running late.”

Son: β€œno dad, we’re walking late.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Monkey-Magic007
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2021
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Proud dad moment. Joke from my soon to be 6 year old daughter. β€œHow did the bee get to school?”

β€œOn the buzzzzz.” So proud.

πŸ‘︎ 522
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hardcoredad
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2020
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11 year old Daughter talking about her school assignment: ”Have you heard of Helen Keller”?

Me-Dad: β€œNope never seen her either”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hicokid80
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Every morning when I am done getting my 2 year old ready for school I call her a Canadian potato chip.

Because she’s all dressed.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zman11588
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2020
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So im about ten years old walking home from school with my mates..

When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.

We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.

Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tiger7971
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2020
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Kids got me an Old-school Chemistry set for Father's Day...

... Totally in my Element.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2020
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My 15 year old sent a text asking me to pick him up from school and added "not in your pyjamas".

So I'm wearing his, because good dads listen.

πŸ‘︎ 423
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DannyGere
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2019
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Some people think that boomboxes are really old school.

I think it's just a stereotype.

πŸ‘︎ 303
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2019
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I asked my daughter if she’d seen my newspaper. She told me that newspapers are old school. She said that people use tablets nowadays and handed me her iPad...

The fly didn’t stand a chance...

πŸ‘︎ 145
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2019
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My 8 year old came home from school and told me she had a test that day.

Me: Oh yeah, what was it on?

Her: Paper.

I was so proud.

πŸ‘︎ 406
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cartie65
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2019
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My 18-year old said for his high school English essay he chose the subject of puns but was clueless where to start...

I said, "you're a groan man! Don't be sheepish--ewe can handle it."

He walked away with a spring in his step.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
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I bumped into an old school friend today.

Luckily no one was hurt.

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/neudeu
πŸ“…︎ Mar 25 2019
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My 7-year-old son, Reese, has a crush called Ella who's moving schools. He wants to know which school she's moving to.

I wonder what Ella meant to Reese..

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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From my 10-year-old: Who is the dominant school supply?

The ruler.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mlucasr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2018
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The other day, Egypt's old bus broke down. So the school used its budget to get Anubis.
πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2018
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Why did the old school french-spanish gamer refuse to abandon his teammate?

Because he was all about the con ami code

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AnCaptainBlue
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2019
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Ate lunch with my 5 year old at his school and couldn't help but dadjoke his classmates.

Me: Oh, what happened to your two front teeth?

Girl: Oh, I lost them!

Me: Well I hope you find them!

πŸ‘︎ 212
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LupeCannonball
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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What's the worst school for old school nostalgic gamers?

NYU LAN-gone

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LightSpeedFM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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When my kids are old enough to start attending school, I play on withdrawing them after day one.

I refuse to let them receive anything less than a first class education.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sykilik101
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2016
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My 7yr old son brought home this dad joke from school.

What do you call a snail on a ship? A snailor.

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazednutter
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2016
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My 5 year old daughter got me with this one today on the way to her first day of school.

"What cats like to play on a computer?"
"Cats that want the mouse?"
"Nope"
"Okay, what cats like to play on a computer?"
"Tabby cats!"

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Frond_Dishlock
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2016
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My 12yr old daughter saw a dead raccoon on the way to school this morning,

I said lets stop, get its tail and she could bring it in for show n' tail.

She slowly lowered her head and face palmed.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2014
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Wife and I picked up our 8 year old son after a school field trip to a pumpkin farm. Son takes it to the next level. Wife about leaped out of the car...

Me: What did they have at the farm?

Son: Pumpkins and gourds.

Me: Did you get to pick one out to take home?

Son: I got a gourd because it looked cool. /shows us multi colored, striped gourd

Me: Gourd for you!

Son: /slightly confused... Yes, I got this gourd.

Me: So... would you say you had a ... gourd time?

Wife: /groans

Son: Ya, I had a gourd time.

Wife: /groans again.

Wife: Really?!

Me: He gets these jokes now. He's all... gourd up now.

Wife: STOP!

Son: Oh, gourd!

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shifty21
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2014
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Old School Dads Tell Jokes Too

So I Have never been close to my dad because he is old school. You know, republican, really catholic, really fit, clean hair cut, big sports fan, etc. He can be funny but really only shows his fun side with the little kids in the family or his brothers.

Well my little sister is incharge or answering the house phone and when she was younger this happened a lot:

Sister: hello?(pause) hangs up phone Dad: who was it? Sister: nobody Dad: oh, i told him to stop calling. Well what did Nobody want? Sister: What ? Dad: you said Nobody called, i asked what he wanted. Sister: Nooooo, nobody called Dad: i know he called, what did he want

This would go on for a while

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2014
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