Pets, puns and dictators
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
π︎ 10
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︎ Dec 25 2014
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?
π︎ 472
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︎ Feb 09 2021
I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...
π︎ 7
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︎ Mar 31 2021
Rick Astley has a massive movie collection and will let you borrow all but one
Heβs never going to give you up His movie collection
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 23 2021
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
π︎ 5
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︎ Mar 23 2021
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.
π︎ 29
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︎ Feb 15 2021
Rick Astley doesn't mind giving away his Disney movies collection...
But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.
π︎ 3
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︎ Feb 18 2021
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
π︎ 59
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins
They have no common cents
π︎ 46
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︎ Jan 13 2021
I inherited my dad's collection of shallow flat receptacles with a raised edge, used for carrying, holding, or displaying articles.
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 08 2021
A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors
Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.
π︎ 11
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︎ Feb 03 2021
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jun 17 2020
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. Itβs almost a full Heartland Rock set...
π︎ 14
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︎ Jan 18 2021
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection
the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"
π︎ 18
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︎ Dec 16 2020
My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.
I told him that makes a lot of cents.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jan 24 2021
What type of portal collects things?
π︎ 5
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
π︎ 14
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︎ Dec 06 2020
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
π︎ 34
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
π︎ 42
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..
..but I've already got that one.
π︎ 53
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︎ Oct 24 2020
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I have started collecting old settees....
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I knew a guy who collected watches
He would link them all together into a sort of belt β I thought it was a waist of time.
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 27 2020
I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.
π︎ 22
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︎ Sep 18 2020
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.
They should be called... gargles.
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 16 2020
If you think that your phone, laptop, microwave and fridge spying on you is bad
Then you should know that your vaccum cleaner has been collecting dirt on you for a while .
π︎ 81
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︎ Mar 21 2021
I used to have a job collecting leaves
π︎ 32
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Whatβs the collective noun for a group of Japanese calligraphy comedians?
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 24 2020
More than 1 000 pieces of music by Johann Sebastian Bach have been preserved,
along with nearly 900 by Carl Philipp Emanuel Bach, nearly 400 by Johann Christian Bach, more than 300 by Johann Christoph Friedrich Bach, and nearly 200 by Wilhelm Friedemann Bach.
Together with as many as 200 more surviving compositions by other members of the Bach dynasty, scholars estimate that about 3 000 works are preserved in total, a collection that we today know as the Baroque Bach mountain.
π︎ 4
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︎ Mar 06 2021
I need a collection of these
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
π︎ 11
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︎ Sep 21 2020
My private pun collection
π︎ 354
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︎ Feb 29 2020
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
π︎ 45
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︎ Aug 19 2020
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...
Smoking is such a turn off.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 22 2020
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
π︎ 45
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︎ Dec 25 2020
sit on flour to collect nectar
π︎ 32
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︎ Apr 28 2020
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
π︎ 98
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Thereβs a saying in math that goes, βItβs as easy as solving a collection of symbols that jointly express a quantity.β
I though it was an odd expression
π︎ 5
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︎ Sep 07 2020
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection
The judge asked her, βfirst offenderβ
βNo,β she says βfirst a Gibson then a Fender
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I've just started collecting old settees....
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I will give you my entire Pixar collection
But I am never gonna give you Up
π︎ 41
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︎ Jun 07 2020
I decided to sell my vacuum cleaner...
Well, it was just collecting dust.
π︎ 9
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︎ Mar 03 2021
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