Pets, puns and dictators
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
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︎ Dec 25 2014
I am suspicious that my wife is secretly adding glue to my weapons collection...
She denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
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︎ May 19 2021
I asked Rick Astley if I can borrow his Disney movie collection.
He told me "You can borrow any movie in my collection but I'm never gonna give you Up."
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︎ May 09 2021
Rick Astley will let you borrow any DVD from his Pixar collection, EXCEPT one
He's never gonna give you "Up"
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︎ May 12 2021
A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks her. "First offender?"
She says, "No, first a Gibson! Then a Fender!"
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︎ May 11 2021
I like to collect records
Itβs my decision and thatβs vinyl!
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︎ May 11 2021
Notable Cats Enamel Pin Collection
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︎ May 08 2021
Delighted to say I've finally got a new job installing mirrors!
Nothing fancy, but was something I could always see myself doing.
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︎ Apr 24 2021
I think my wife is covering my rifle collection with glue.
She's denying it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
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︎ Jan 27 2021
Iβm going to start collecting highlighters.
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︎ May 07 2021
I want to be buried with my record collection.
That would be my vinyl resting place.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
The content of a person's audiobook collection...
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︎ May 03 2021
I own a pristine collection of candy canes...
they're all in mint condition!
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︎ Apr 22 2021
What does Reese Witherspoon call her gun collection?
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︎ Feb 09 2021
A collection of physical dadjokes
A collection of physical dad-jokes (click the link).
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︎ Apr 14 2021
Straight from my 6 yr old.
What do you call a sleeping dinosaur?
Dino-snore.
I ugly laughed at this and she thought it was the best.
Edit: wow, thanks for the awards! I told my daughter she got 500 likes and she started dancing. Thank you!
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︎ May 15 2021
I don't understand why my friends hate my lava lamp collection...
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︎ Mar 31 2021
My wife has been cold to me lately, so I figured a hobby might make her more receptive to my advances. I figured why not stamp collecting? Well, I learned an important lesson...
Philately will get you nowhere
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︎ Apr 15 2021
Lost on a mountain, you can collect rainwater to drink during storms.
Otherwise, you just have to make dew.
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︎ Apr 08 2021
Rick Astley has a massive movie collection and will let you borrow all but one
Heβs never going to give you up His movie collection
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︎ Mar 23 2021
My collection of irreplaceable French movies was stolen.
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︎ Feb 15 2021
A policeman was busted for collecting bribes and hiding the money in his freezer....
When the authorities searched his freezer, they found nothing but cold hard cash
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︎ Mar 23 2021
Rick Astley doesn't mind giving away his Disney movies collection...
But he's still never gonna give you Up. Especially remastered in 4k.
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︎ Feb 18 2021
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
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︎ Jun 17 2020
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
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︎ Jan 09 2021
Why should you never marry someone that likes collecting weird coins
They have no common cents
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︎ Jan 13 2021
My record collection includes Bruce Springsteen, John Cougar Mellencamp, and Tom Petty. Itβs almost a full Heartland Rock set...
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︎ Jan 18 2021
A friend of mine has starting collecting mirrors
Personally, I don't know what he sees in them.
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︎ Feb 03 2021
I inherited my dad's collection of shallow flat receptacles with a raised edge, used for carrying, holding, or displaying articles.
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︎ Feb 08 2021
My son told me he wanted to start a change collection.
I told him that makes a lot of cents.
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︎ Jan 24 2021
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
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︎ Oct 15 2020
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
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︎ Nov 28 2020
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
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︎ Dec 06 2020
What type of portal collects things?
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︎ Jan 07 2021
I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..
..but I've already got that one.
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I sold my vacuum today.
Why?
It was collecting dust.
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︎ May 07 2021
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries
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︎ Nov 04 2020
I have started collecting old settees....
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︎ Dec 25 2020
I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
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︎ Jan 04 2021
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
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︎ Dec 08 2020
I knew a guy who collected watches
He would link them all together into a sort of belt β I thought it was a waist of time.
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︎ Nov 27 2020
Did you know...
In Las Vegas there are more Catholic churches than casinos? Not surprisingly, many Sunday worshippers will give casino chips instead of cash when the offering plate is passed around. Since the churches get chips from so many different casinos, they have devised a way to collect the offerings. They send all their collected chips to a nearby Franciscan monastery for sorting, and then the chips are taken to the casinos of origin and cashed in. This is done by the chip monks.
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︎ Apr 29 2021
I need a collection of these
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︎ Dec 20 2019
I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I used to have a job collecting leaves
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︎ Sep 04 2020
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection
the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"
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︎ Dec 16 2020
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection
The judge asked her, βfirst offenderβ
βNo,β she says βfirst a Gibson then a Fender
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︎ Nov 17 2020
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