Pets, puns and dictators
Help wanted from r/puns!
I am planning to make my girlfriend a picture calendar for 2015 of some dog/ cat based puns of famous dictators. I'm running short of ideas, and so am turning to Reddit, given their penchant for all things pets and puns.
My ideas so far:
Adolf Kitler
Chairman miaow
Kitty Amin
Ho chi(huahua) Min
Robert Pugabi
Colonel Catdafi
Saddam Hussaint Bernard
Benito Pussolini
Fidel Catstro
I'm looking to Reddit's collective pun power to generate some more ideas. Help me punslingers!
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︎ Dec 25 2014
The FBI was shocked to uncover the inspirations of the train collecting serial killer.
π︎ 59
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︎ Jan 09 2021
A woman was on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection
the judge says: "First offender" The woman replies: "No, first a Gibson, the a Fender"
π︎ 17
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︎ Dec 16 2020
What type of portal collects things?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jan 07 2021
Did you hear about the dad who has the world's largest candy cane collection?
They're all in mint condition.
π︎ 16
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︎ Dec 06 2020
Pokemon cards? Yeah i've got a small collection.
π︎ 5k
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︎ Jun 17 2020
I decided to sell my vacuum...
It was only collecting dust.
π︎ 6k
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︎ Jan 04 2021
The cows on my dairy farm have all decided to form a new financial vehicle made up of a pool of money collected from many cows to invest in securities...
π︎ 30
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︎ Nov 28 2020
I have started collecting old settees....
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 25 2020
My wife hates my collection of old snake skins.
So I have to keep them in the shed.
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 08 2020
My gf made me give away my collection of dead batteries
π︎ 25
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︎ Nov 04 2020
Did you hear about the man who only collected rare pennies?
He didn't have a lot of common cents.
π︎ 43
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︎ Oct 15 2020
I'm obsessed with collecting old Beatles records. My friends say I need help..
..but I've already got that one.
π︎ 55
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︎ Oct 24 2020
I knew a guy who collected watches
He would link them all together into a sort of belt β I thought it was a waist of time.
π︎ 13
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︎ Nov 27 2020
They're only called gargoyles if they collect and spout rain water.
They should be called... gargles.
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 16 2020
I considered converting my wardrobe to house my board game collection, but was worried about losing clothing space.
π︎ 23
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︎ Sep 18 2020
I used to have a job collecting leaves
π︎ 30
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︎ Sep 04 2020
Whatβs the collective noun for a group of Japanese calligraphy comedians?
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 24 2020
A crow invited his buddies over to hang out but they didnβt show up.
He was charged with attempted murder.
π︎ 45
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︎ Dec 25 2020
Why did the bank hire a dog that collects sticks?
They needed a new branch manager.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 21 2020
I once went on a date that ended with me and the girl sleeping together. After sex she lit a cigarette and told me me all about her hobby: collecting roadkill and pinning it to her wall. Well, there's no way I could see her after that...
Smoking is such a turn off.
π︎ 3
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︎ Sep 22 2020
I think my wife is putting glue on my antique weapons collection.
Of course she denies it, but I'm sticking to my guns.
π︎ 47
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︎ Aug 19 2020
What the Poland man did, after adding German mugs to his collection?
π︎ 4
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︎ Jun 26 2020
I need a collection of these
π︎ 3k
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︎ Dec 20 2019
Thereβs a saying in math that goes, βItβs as easy as solving a collection of symbols that jointly express a quantity.β
I though it was an odd expression
π︎ 4
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︎ Sep 07 2020
I will give you my entire Pixar collection
But I am never gonna give you Up
π︎ 39
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︎ Jun 07 2020
Why does an otter collect parts for his spaceship?
So he can go to otter space
π︎ 3
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︎ Aug 29 2020
Why did the fool start collecting little insects after learning about covid?
He figured he needed antibodies
π︎ 4
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︎ Aug 24 2020
I have a collection of urns to transfer my grandfather's ashes between them.
I figure he wouldn't want to be cooped up in one urn for long. While transferring his ashes, I broke his good urn. I am going to buy him another good urn. I guess its as the saying goes "one good urn deserves another".
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︎ Aug 30 2020
My private pun collection
π︎ 360
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︎ Feb 29 2020
sit on flour to collect nectar
π︎ 28
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︎ Apr 28 2020
So I used to collect those little cardboard discs with pictures on...
One time I took a bunch of them with me to Abu Dhabi and while most of them were fine one behaved very weirdly, splitting and separating like it was in the humid air of the tropics. Very strange. I even wrote a letter about it to a listings magazine, which began:
"What's On, I commend to your attention the curious incident of the POG in the dry clime."
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 25 2020
What do you call a collection of bones made out of kitchenware?
π︎ 2
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︎ Aug 23 2020
Im going to start collecting highlighters
π︎ 23
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︎ Jul 24 2020
People ask why I have a collection of large scissors.
I tell them it is for the shear fun of it
π︎ 14
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︎ Jul 03 2020
The collective noun for kangaroos is a "troop". What is the collective noun for cars?
π︎ 99
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︎ Mar 18 2020
Collecting Impressionist art is a pricey hobby.
It requires a lot of monet.
π︎ 5
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︎ Jul 06 2020
What is the difference between a person who works in landscaping and someone who collects coffee?
One is a groundskeeper while the other is a grounds keeper
π︎ 60
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︎ Jun 06 2020
Why should you never ask Rick Astley to borrow his Pixar collection?
Because heβs never gonna give you βUp.β
π︎ 33
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︎ May 19 2020
Rick Astley will let you borrow any movie from his Disney collection...
Except for the movie Up. He's never gonna give you Up.
π︎ 72
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︎ Apr 09 2020
I donβt understand why the thief who stole my currency collection took all the bills but left all the coins.
It was a cents-less crime.
π︎ 7
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︎ Jul 17 2020
My son took his jar collection way too far
When I came home from work I thought the house was robbed because the door was ajar
π︎ 3
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︎ Jul 28 2020
A woman is on trial for beating up a unfaithful rockstar husband with his guitar collection
The judge asked her, βfirst offenderβ
βNo,β she says βfirst a Gibson then a Fender
π︎ 5
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︎ Nov 17 2020
I've just started collecting old settees....
π︎ 3
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︎ Nov 20 2020
I'm addicted to collecting vintage Beatles albums.
π︎ 7
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︎ Sep 25 2020
I miss my old job collecting leaves.
π︎ 7
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︎ May 30 2020
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