More puns from class yesterday but I waited until today because spooky month
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Stoppablefish8
πŸ“…︎ Oct 01 2019
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That is farm more puns than I could have thought of
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarrotMan82
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2019
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Puns and more puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Unsterbbar
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2019
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So I’ve been dating this woman named Destiny for 2 years. I’ve been having a hard time coming up with more puns.

I’ve got a date with Destiny! Reaching out to take Destiny into my own hands ! And a few other sub-par ones not worth mentioning.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dakotachip
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2019
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The more puns I tell, the angrier some people get

It seems I missed my culling

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2018
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Pun book I found by art moger ask if you want to see more puns from this
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πŸ‘€︎ u/AmanoMuskrat
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2019
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No more puns for today, this guy already won. imgur.com/44tXxcf
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Oceloctopus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2018
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Even more puns
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πŸ‘€︎ u/_D4Z3_
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

My wife: Okay. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crazyfortaco
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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Why shouldn't you put more than 239 beans in a soup?

Because adding just one more would make it too farty. Straight from my 7 year old daughter.

Edit: Thank you so much for the awards and upvotes. I showed my daughter how many people saw and appreciated her humor and she's extatic. I know she probably didn't come up with the joke herself but this was one of the first times she really got me with a good one and I thought I'd share it with some fellow dads and others.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/oak05
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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No more Suez Canal jokes!

That ship has sailed.

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JhopkinsWA
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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My daughter wants to do more things on her own, so I told her to put a picture of herself in a locket

Then she would be independent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crimsonangel68
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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Why do atheists own more cats than christians?

Because it’s illegal to own a Christian

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notmischa123
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2021
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How do you get more bounce in a water bed?

Put some spring water in it

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINO-BURY89
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2021
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I'm trying to eat more kale because it's healthy. But when I see it on my plate, I ask myself...

Do the ends really justify the greens?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vin135mm
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2021
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There's a group of sharks that like to meet up in secret. I'd tell you more but...

The first rule of bite club is do not talk about bite club.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/THPSROCKS
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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Why doesn't people discover new websites any more?

Because no one is using Internet Explorer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carrot_Lobbyist
πŸ“…︎ Jun 09 2021
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This makes a bit more sense if you watched Dragon Ball Super. Goku went from Super Saiyan...

To Super Cyan.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/michaelzu7
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2021
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My girlfriend said if I bought her one more stupid gift, she would burn it.

So I bought her a candle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/5x13
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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Balloons cost more today than they did 10 years ago.

Inflation.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Luckj
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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I find it hilarious when people use big words they don't fully understand to make themselves feel more...

Colloquialism.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zer0sober
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2021
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What costs more, a ladder or a Lamborghini?

The latter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChewyNutCluster
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2021
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The doctor said I can’t have any more red meat

So I started cooking my steaks well done.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/LADboy_11
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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Amtrak employees are more like to be struck by lightning than any other profession.

Because they are good conductors

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Badjokechip
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2021
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What weighs more 10 pounds of bricks or 10 pounds of feathers?

Feathers because you have to carry the weight of what you did to those poor birds

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoesMemories
πŸ“…︎ Apr 22 2021
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Remember to go for more ohms
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πŸ‘€︎ u/nis_sama
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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Why couldn't Han and Leia produce more than one child?

They could only produce a Solo child.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheAzrael2013
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2021
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I told my daughter, "Did you know that humans eat more bananas than monkeys?" She rolled her eyes at me, but I persevered. "It’s true!"

"When was the last time you ate a monkey?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/808gecko808
πŸ“…︎ Jun 01 2021
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Boring but i'll think of more

If there's Jamaica, what about PeanutButterAica

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kombobeatz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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A baseball player was shopping at the dairy while in a bad mood. He'd played in a home run derby yesterday; though he got more runs than anyone else, another player was awarded the trophy. While in line at the register, the lady in front of him was short on cash. He decided to do a good deed, so...

The bitter, better-batter bought her butter!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pthelynese
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2021
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Apologies in advance for the worst joke you're going to hear for a while. Why are millenials more susceptible to osteoporosis?

Because so many of them are degenerative hipsters.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whosevelt
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2021
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If you think Thursdays are depressing, wait until 2 more days. Why?

Because it will be a sadder day

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PickledJuice69
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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My friend said that he eats more than his brother.

I was more concerned by the fact that he eats his brother.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/incredibleinkpen
πŸ“…︎ May 24 2021
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When you see birds flying in a V and there are more birds on one side, why is that?

Because there are more birds on that side.

Zinger from my father-in-law.

Edit: This is word for word. Thanks everyone for trying to make it better.

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πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Can anyone suggest more vegetable puns?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kurmudgeonly
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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Short people face more discrimination than any other group!

We’re always being overlooked

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BHarcade
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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Do you want hair, with more volume?

πŸ”ˆπŸ”‰πŸ”Š πŸ“£HAAAAIIIIIRπŸ“£

πŸ‘︎ 315
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2021
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It’s hard to believe that it has been more than 100 years since Einstein published his Theory of Relativity.

It seems like only yesterday.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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Wife asked me for reasons behind my laziness, I have more than one.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DRJA5
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2021
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My friend asked me if we could end lunch after I was done my sandwich. I took one more bite and then said...

"Actually, that's a wrap!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DrDewinYourMom
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2021
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What's one word for flowers that are more that two?

Flural

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GodSyndrome7
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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More bad jokes!

If one pig is in the pigpen and another is running loose in the barnyard, which one is singing don’t fence me in?

Neither! Pigs can’t sing lol

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Carnivore007
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2021
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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides. I picked it up and threw it. It flew for more than 300 yards

I'm sure that must have been a record

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πŸ‘€︎ u/custardy_cream
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2021
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My mother always told me I look more like her from the waste up, but took after my father from the waste down...

... because I'm a smart a**

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DavidkDavid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2021
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My wife shouted, "You need to do more chores around the house!" Groaning, I pleaded, "Can we change the subject?" She smiled and calmly replied...

"Ok, more chores around the house need to be done by you."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2021
🚨︎ report
My wife: You need to do more chores around the house.

Me: Can we change the subject?

Her: Ok. More chores around the house need to be done by you.

πŸ‘︎ 12k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
🚨︎ report
No more Suez Canal jokes.

That ship has sailed.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Apr 01 2021
🚨︎ report

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