Not to brag, but yesterday I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school Karate lessons came to some use.
A recent study of rocking chairs indicated that certain parts of the world do far less rocking than the United States while specific countries do...
Mo-roccan.
This joke provided by dads giving babies a bottle in a rocking chair early in the morning.
There are less and less balloons with money designs
I went to the geometry store because I was looking to buy a shape with 4 or less sides...
But I couldn’t find any! They were all gons!!!
Ever hear the tale about the angle less than 90 degrees?
Recently, I've been driving my wife crazy with how many friends named Fred I've been making, and they all look the same, no less. That said, one day a man rang our bell, and my wife, relieved that he did not look like my other friends, asked who he was, to which a replied:
"Don't worry, Honey, he's just another Fred of mine."
Mr. Cooper has been working so much lately, he's feeling less and less like himself.
What he needs is a night of rest and re-Cooperation.
Chemistry professor: Is it a good or bad thing that ice is less dense than (floats in) water?
Me: It wasn't good for the Titanic.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
When I was a baby I slept all the time but I slept less and less as I got older....
...I didn't want to be accused of kidnapping.
Did you hear that less toys have been made this year in Santa’s workshop?
Many of his workers had to Elf Isolate.
They should count all the people in this country that make $40k a year or less
Why there are less female voters in 2020 elections? Because of....
Why does butane weigh less than water
Because it’s a lighter fluid
A man named six gave his friends three and five some chocolate bars. Three got 7 chocolate bars and five got eight of them. Three was upset he had less than five did, and five was sad that his friend was sad, so he asked six if three could have another chocolate bar.
He gave one to three for five
Last month my doctor told me, "Bob, this is seriously urgent. You really have to start drinking less vodka."
I've been out to at least 40 different bars since then, but no one seems to carry that brand. Anyone know where to find it?
When you buy a bigger bed, you have more bed room but less bedroom
That's a very important fact I just read and wanted to share with you guys. Buying beds is a serious topic.
Denty Moore...or I guess Less
Why is there less air travel on Tuesdays?
Because you're supposed Tuesday on the ground.
Why are young adults in farming families less likely to get COVID?
Because they're corn teens
To connect two sentences, what conjunction should I use, but or less?
The school made the use of "bullet points" illegal because it incited violence in the classroom, and I must admit I couldn't have cared less. That's all changed now, though.
The bus driver isn't allowed to drive my kids anymore because we live on a dead end street.
Did you hear about the architect who only designed chimney-less homes?
My son was birthed in less than a second!
You could say it was spawntaneous
Why is the moon feeling less popular?
There’s no buzz around it.
I don't tolerate people with less than normal toes.
Why do you get less caviar out of a fish with nieces and nephews?
Because it's in a fish aunt.
I’ve noticed recently that socks are costing less and less
Seems like the sock market has crashed
Today, I apologised to my family for replacing some words with their less appropriate synonyms..
Did you know that daytime weighs less than nighttime?
It's a scientific fact it's lighter.
Definitely not mine, but punny none the less.
I was a dad for less than 24 hours when I came up with this one
We had a little girl at 34 weeks. She was very fussy and the nurse called her a little diva.
I responded with, “More like a preemie-Donna”
The wife groaned and rolled her eyes.
The nurse asked for permission to use that since we were in the NICU.
I made it, fellas.
Oh, and mom and baby are doing well!
My wife told me she thought we'd have less arguments if I wasn't so pedantic.
I told her, "I think you mean fewer".
My son drew a polygon with three edges and three vertices with angles less than 90°...
It was acute triangle, I must admit!
The local diner charges Hispanic men less than everyone else.
They call it the señor citizens’ discount.
Not to brag, but yesterday i beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Not to brag, but I beat our local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Today I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram
Not to brag, but I defeated our local chess champion in less than 5 moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
Last night I had a dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Which weighs less; butane, gasoline or water?
Butane, because it's lighter fluid...
Not to brag, but I beat the local chess champion in less than 5 moves yesterday.
Finally my high school karate lessons came of some use.
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram....
I had a crazy dream that I weighed less than a thousandth of a gram.
Not to brag, but yesterday I beat the state chess champion in less than five moves.
Finally my high school karate lessons came to some use.
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