I decided not to get rid of my tumor anymore

I dont know why, i guess it just grew on me

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/C0alB0y
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 30 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?

Because every morning it wanted him to get woke

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/piccolorick
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 01 2021
🚨︎ report
So they're getting rid of the essay portion of the SAT

Just calling it the T exam now.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/seancockery
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
No matter what shampoo I use, I can’t seem to get rid of my dandruff.

It’s a real head scratcher.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 58
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/theRiverknows86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 13 2021
🚨︎ report
After a few uses, I decided to get rid of my vacuum.

It sucks.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Steve_Irwin_Is_Dead
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 04 2021
🚨︎ report
Why would Biden get rid of Trump's Muslim Travel Band ?

I didn't even get to hear them play live yet

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Johnny_Two_Timez
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2021
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of a witch’s hex?

Draw a hex-a-gon(e).

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HappyRamenMan
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 30 2020
🚨︎ report
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020

But next year will be 2022

(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Totorowl
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2021
🚨︎ report
Getting rid of an annoying crease on a piece of paper is pretty easy.

All you have to do is wait, eventually it’ll crease to exist!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LordIggy88
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 01 2021
🚨︎ report
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway

I have it all thawed out.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/princess94
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2020
🚨︎ report
Who do you call when you want to get rid of wrinkles

Iron man

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/skyhighjams
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Which Avenger is best at getting rid of Wrinkles?

Iron Man :)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/pizza4greatergood
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 02 2020
🚨︎ report
If you take a dozen cows and get rid of two you'll have nine

There would be 10 but they lacked 8

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BatmanStarkDentistry
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
"What part of your body would you get rid of?"

"My spine. It holds me back."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 161
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RayInRed
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got rid of my son’s drum kit but he went behind my back and bought a new one.

There’s going to be serious repercussions.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/dandan_56
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to own a Subaru. I never should’ve gotten rid of it.

I left behind a Legacy.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/asguardia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 19 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the guy who got rid of his vacuum cleaner?

It was just gathering dust.

Sorry. Won't do another vacuum joke. They suck.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 118
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/yorkshirenation
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 30 2020
🚨︎ report
getting rid of this lifestyle bc out of date
πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/PFDRC
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 28 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert?

I usually toast my sand Witches.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryOriginalName98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
🚨︎ report
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?

He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NotA_Drug_Dealer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
Help! I started arranging them by artist but that wasn’t right. Then by title, but that wasn’t right either. Nor by colour. Nor alphabetically by first track title. Finally, I arranged them by number of tracks, but I just couldn’t get them in the right order. So I got rid of them all. Do I have 0CD?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jjoojjoojj
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Have you heard the joke about getting rid of covid?

It’s a riot!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 31
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CodyClay1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 10 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of someone’s dirty thoughts?

By brainwashing them

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DillSoupYT
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I can't believe my wife wanted me to get rid of my silt collection!

It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/CaptainAmerilard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
You could say, I’ve never gotten rid of my bad vices
πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DreamingCannibal
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 25 2020
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one body part it would be my spine

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 29 2020
🚨︎ report
I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.

I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/MistakesTasteGreat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 19 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of fleas?

Start from scratch...

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/td941
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 16 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm thinking about getting rid of my spine

It's always holding me back.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/KoronaSenpai
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
I got rid of that hair lice I've been having for a couple weeks the other day.

That problem's finally out of my hair.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InfinateUniverse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?

They said that they are going to axe body spray.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SteadyingRuck
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 10 2020
🚨︎ report
My friend declared bankruptcy and disappeared to get rid of all his bills...

It was his un-due-ing.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My brother wanted to stop getting his hair cut for 6 months, but now he doesn't want to get rid of his long hair anymore...

It really grew on him.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TwoOfEmYesterday
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?

All they could say was BACH!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Guyshu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 15 2020
🚨︎ report
I got another wrist watch for my birthday, so I wanted to get rid of the old ones. Looking through how many I had

I decided to give them a new purpose and turn them into a nice belt. But it ended up being too short.

This whole project was a waist of time.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Zitter_Aalex
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray

πŸ‘οΈŽ 162
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Carrocko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 03 2019
🚨︎ report
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."

I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 29
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Jagsfreak
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 12 2019
🚨︎ report
Everyone was really excited when we got rid of the dynamite by burying it.

It was the bomb diggity.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 07 2020
🚨︎ report
My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...

I guess he’s just trying to shave face…

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What does an ant take to get rid of heartburn?

An antacid

I'm a single mom so I feel its ok for me to post this (and it made my daughter facepalm)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/javalove1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 23 2019
🚨︎ report
I got rid of all my pillows and now I sleep better than ever

I rest on my case.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/riversquid
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 20 2020
🚨︎ report
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it

Wouldn’t run

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Haas19
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 06 2020
🚨︎ report
How do you get rid of your average ghost?

Contact a medium

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/AnnieTheQueer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
After finally getting rid of the ghost that was haunting my car, he came back.

I guess you could say my cars been repossessed.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Elon_Muskmelon
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2019
🚨︎ report
If I had to get rid of one part of my body, I'd get rid of my spine.

Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 109
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BinaryPeach
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 13 2019
🚨︎ report
I finally got rid of my head lice

That problem's outta my hair

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/InfinateUniverse
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 11 2020
🚨︎ report
"what part of your body would you get rid off?"

"My spine, It holds me back."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3k
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/__Odelay__
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 13 2018
🚨︎ report
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?

Let us spray.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 28
πŸ’¬οΈŽ
πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Quint_Cordewener
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 27 2019
🚨︎ report

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