I decided not to get rid of my tumor anymore
I dont know why, i guess it just grew on me
π︎ 17
π
︎ Jan 30 2021
Why did The conservative get rid of his alarm clock?
Because every morning it wanted him to get woke
π︎ 7
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︎ Feb 01 2021
So they're getting rid of the essay portion of the SAT
Just calling it the T exam now.
π︎ 18
π
︎ Jan 23 2021
No matter what shampoo I use, I canβt seem to get rid of my dandruff.
Itβs a real head scratcher.
π︎ 58
π
︎ Jan 13 2021
After a few uses, I decided to get rid of my vacuum.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Jan 04 2021
Why would Biden get rid of Trump's Muslim Travel Band ?
I didn't even get to hear them play live yet
π︎ 5
π
︎ Jan 21 2021
How do you get rid of a witchβs hex?
π︎ 12
π
︎ Dec 30 2020
We are so happy to finally be rid of 2020
But next year will be 2022
(Inspired by the latest joke I read here by u/callingYouForMoney )
π︎ 7
π
︎ Jan 05 2021
Getting rid of an annoying crease on a piece of paper is pretty easy.
All you have to do is wait, eventually itβll crease to exist!
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jan 01 2021
I finally came up with a plan to get rid of the ice on my driveway
I have it all thawed out.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Dec 06 2020
Who do you call when you want to get rid of wrinkles
π︎ 22
π
︎ Oct 19 2020
Which Avenger is best at getting rid of Wrinkles?
π︎ 15
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︎ Nov 02 2020
If you take a dozen cows and get rid of two you'll have nine
There would be 10 but they lacked 8
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 20 2020
"What part of your body would you get rid of?"
"My spine. It holds me back."
π︎ 161
π
︎ Aug 10 2020
I got rid of my sonβs drum kit but he went behind my back and bought a new one.
Thereβs going to be serious repercussions.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 20 2020
I used to own a Subaru. I never shouldβve gotten rid of it.
π︎ 20
π
︎ Aug 19 2020
Did you hear about the guy who got rid of his vacuum cleaner?
It was just gathering dust.
Sorry. Won't do another vacuum joke. They suck.
π︎ 118
π
︎ Jun 30 2020
getting rid of this lifestyle bc out of date
π︎ 9
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︎ Jul 28 2020
How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert?
I usually toast my sand Witches.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Sep 23 2020
How did the bagel shop owner get rid of the competition on his block?
He ran a pretty intense schmear campaign
π︎ 4
π
︎ Aug 29 2020
Help! I started arranging them by artist but that wasnβt right. Then by title, but that wasnβt right either. Nor by colour. Nor alphabetically by first track title. Finally, I arranged them by number of tracks, but I just couldnβt get them in the right order. So I got rid of them all. Do I have 0CD?
π︎ 3
π
︎ Jul 12 2020
Have you heard the joke about getting rid of covid?
π︎ 31
π
︎ Jun 10 2020
How do you get rid of someoneβs dirty thoughts?
π︎ 11
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︎ Jul 10 2020
I can't believe my wife wanted me to get rid of my silt collection!
It's like she doesn't understand the sedimental value!
π︎ 6
π
︎ Jul 14 2020
You could say, Iβve never gotten rid of my bad vices
π︎ 22
π
︎ Feb 25 2020
If I had to get rid of one body part it would be my spine
Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back
π︎ 22
π
︎ May 29 2020
I had a real problem when your mom got rid of that crooked chair my dad made.
I don't know why, it just never sat right with me.
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jun 19 2020
How do you get rid of fleas?
π︎ 19
π
︎ Apr 16 2020
I'm thinking about getting rid of my spine
It's always holding me back.
π︎ 13
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
I got rid of that hair lice I've been having for a couple weeks the other day.
That problem's finally out of my hair.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Jun 03 2020
Did you hear about the government scheme to get rid of deodorant?
They said that they are going to axe body spray.
π︎ 2
π
︎ Apr 10 2020
My friend declared bankruptcy and disappeared to get rid of all his bills...
π︎ 3
π
︎ May 07 2020
My brother wanted to stop getting his hair cut for 6 months, but now he doesn't want to get rid of his long hair anymore...
π︎ 3
π
︎ Apr 24 2020
Why did Mozart get rid of his chickens?
All they could say was BACH!
π︎ 12
π
︎ Feb 15 2020
I got another wrist watch for my birthday, so I wanted to get rid of the old ones. Looking through how many I had
I decided to give them a new purpose and turn them into a nice belt. But it ended up being too short.
This whole project was a waist of time.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 08 2020
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?
π︎ 162
π
︎ Aug 03 2019
It's my dream to become the CEO of Subway, if for no other reason than to get rid of the horrible job title "Sandwich Artist."
I just feel like they need a more accurate job title, like Sub Humans.
π︎ 29
π
︎ Dec 12 2019
Everyone was really excited when we got rid of the dynamite by burying it.
π︎ 5
π
︎ Apr 07 2020
My dad is always embarrassed about cutting himself while getting rid of his beard, so he locks himself in the bathroom...
I guess heβs just trying to shave faceβ¦
π︎ 5
π
︎ Mar 12 2020
What does an ant take to get rid of heartburn?
An antacid
I'm a single mom so I feel its ok for me to post this (and it made my daughter facepalm)
π︎ 21
π
︎ Dec 23 2019
I got rid of all my pillows and now I sleep better than ever
π︎ 8
π
︎ Feb 20 2020
I used to have an electric wok but I had to get rid of it
π︎ 4
π
︎ Jan 06 2020
How do you get rid of your average ghost?
π︎ 5
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
After finally getting rid of the ghost that was haunting my car, he came back.
I guess you could say my cars been repossessed.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 18 2019
If I had to get rid of one part of my body, I'd get rid of my spine.
Sometimes I feel like it's holding me back.
π︎ 109
π
︎ Nov 13 2019
I finally got rid of my head lice
That problem's outta my hair
π︎ 6
π
︎ Apr 11 2020
"what part of your body would you get rid off?"
"My spine, It holds me back."
π︎ 3k
π
︎ May 13 2018
What do priests say to get rid of insects in the church?
π︎ 28
π
︎ Nov 27 2019
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