Our family dog used to chase people riding bikes

It got so bad in the end, we had to take the bikes off him.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/crayonfingers
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2021
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I saw a cyclist riding close to a steep cliff. He hit some gravel and veered away from the road toward the precipice. At the last minute he saved himself by jumping from his bike.

For a moment, I thought he was gone with the Schwinn.

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πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
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Did you hear about the whale who always wears a helmet when riding a bike?

He does it for safety porpoises

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Depressed_Citrus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2020
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I was riding my bike through the countryside when I was attacked by a herd of sheep...

Fortunately, I was only grazed.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porkchop_d_clown
πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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I just saw a guy riding a bike while trying to sell a donkey.

He was peddling his ass all over town.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2019
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I used to love riding my bike around Iceland

Until I got kicked out of the shop.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/orduk
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2019
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Jim was riding his bike with his friend Bill when he hit a pothole and flew over his handlebars...

He was badly injured, and yelled to his friend, "Quick! Call me a doctor!"

Bill said, "I don't really see how that will help, but if you insist: 'You're a doctor!'"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MahatmaGuru
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2019
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Every time I fix something on my bike, something else breaks and I hurt myself. But I always end up riding again.

It's a vicious cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 90
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πŸ‘€︎ u/KyleMistry
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2013
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Was riding my bike and got in an accident, dad texted to see how I was doing
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jagexrex
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2013
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I saw two waterfowl riding bikes.

How pair-o-ducks-cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Risla_Amahendir
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2015
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Did you guys hear the story about the angry man riding a Walmart kids bike?

It was a little huffy.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sweathesmallshit
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2016
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Where do crazy people ride their bikes?

On the psycho path

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivy7496
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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Why does Jesus ride a bike?

He’s on the highway to heaven!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ArtBoy54
πŸ“…︎ Aug 15 2020
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Apu and his family went on a bike ride.

It was known as the Nahasapeema-peloton.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lenzar86
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
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Every morning I take a bike ride through the park at least twice no matter how exhausted I am...

I always push myself to recycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirateking1000
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2020
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If you ride a bike once, then ride it again

is that recycling?

(My dad's joke)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pessimistic_soul
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2019
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β€œAccidentally played dad instead of dead when I encountered a bear and now it can ride a bike without training wheels”
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πŸ‘€︎ u/leon1891
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Unicyclists only ride bikes...

...when they are two tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whitoreo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2020
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The bike I tried to ride today wouldn't move

It was two tired

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ianlucky13
πŸ“…︎ Jun 29 2019
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I asked my dad why he never rides his bike without training wheels,

He said it was to tiring

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/rodier_the_r31ard
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2019
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Me, to the biker gang leader: I thought we were supposed to ride our bikes together at the same speed!

Biker gang leader: Yes, but for the love of God, Stop calling it β€œsynchronizing our cycles”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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It's a 5 minute walk from my house to the bar, but a 45 minute walk from the bar to my house...

The difference is staggering

πŸ‘︎ 20k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wcslater
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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I didn't believe it when someone said they can ride a bike on one wheel, but it turns out...

they wheelie can

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/kishenoy
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2019
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What do you call someone who rides vintage bikes?

A recyclist!

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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Did you hear about the guy who tried to ride a bike on the summit of Mt Everest?

It started out well but then things went downhill pretty fast.

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CybergothiChe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
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A shark can swim faster than me, but I reckon I can run faster than a shark.

So, if it was a Triathlon, it would come down to, which one of us was better at riding a bike....Right!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 04 2021
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My daughter has been learning to ride her bike for a while now.

It's been slow. She usually only manages a few metres in a straight line before stopping. Today she cycled along for ages with one arm held out to the side.

I think she's finally turning a corner.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neviss99
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2017
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Dadjoked on bike ride. Stated to wife that I thought the house we were passing was a tudor.

The guy was just coming out of the garage (which has three doors) And says, "No it's a three door".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ecothegeek
πŸ“…︎ May 17 2015
🚨︎ report
My mom suggested to my dad and brother that they go on a bike ride...

Dad: I dunno, I'm kinda tired

Bro: Yeah, I don't think I could handle that right now

Dad: I think we've already spoken about this

Bro: Give me a brake, dad

Dad: What, you can't keep the chain of puns going?

Bro: I can kick it into a higher gear

Dad: I might have to reflect on your puns for a minute

Bro: As long as you don't tread over any of my good ones

Dad: Wheel see how long you can keep this up

Me: Hey, I like...bikes

Dad: ΰ² _ΰ² 

Bro: ΰ² _ΰ² 

Mom: β—”_β—”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ballroomaddict
πŸ“…︎ Aug 04 2015
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That bike ride was a bit bumpy

You should get a horse, it would be more stable

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Notknow-knotnow
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2015
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My wife said, of RideLondon participants, "I can ride faster than that on my bike in the garage"

I replied, you won't get very far in the garage

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2015
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GF went for a bike ride yesterday

Her: My legs feel so taut.

Me: What are they learning?

-3 seconds of silence-

Her: siiiiiiiiiiiiigh

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wangulator
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2014
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A police officer just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes.

That’s ridiculous. My dogs don’t even own bikes

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/revsilverspine
πŸ“…︎ Jun 18 2019
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Father in law likes to bike ride

FIL: "Going for a ride, back in a bit" MIL: "Okay, be safe. Make sure to watch your shoulder" FIL: "But if I watch my shoulder how can I see where I'm going? Doesn't seem safe to me" MIL: ...groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cakedestroyer
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2013
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I was really cold on my bike ride to work this morning...

Then I realized I was listening to chill music. I turned it off and was instantly warmer.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrathfulgrapes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2014
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How many kids with ADD does it take to change a lightbulb?

Let's go ride bikes!

πŸ‘︎ 7k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/notdadbot
πŸ“…︎ Nov 16 2019
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Still up for sale?
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EC097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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My 6 year old just made me SO PROUD!!!!

On a bike ride, we saw some ducks on a pond.

"Daddy! What does a hungry duck eat?" "...." "A QUACKer!!!"

She hasn't stopped laughing at herself, and it's been almost an hour!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Bross-Hog
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2020
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My Dad is currently riding his bicycle across America to raise awareness for Colon Cancer...

[and posted a picture of him and his bike on a rest day.] (https://i.imgur.com/IapqomG.png)

Edit: Whoa this is getting popular. I live on the other side of the world, and am about to go to bed, but I am just going to put his [donation page] (http://ccf.convio.net/site/TR?px=3433802&fr_id=1580&pg=personal) at the top of the post if anyone is interested. It is no big deal, but if someone is looking, I thought I'd put it at the top. Either way, you all are going to make his day when I show him how many people appreciated his joke. I just hope this doesn't mean that I have to laugh at all of them from now on...

πŸ‘︎ 5k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/travellingby
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
🚨︎ report
Where do crazy people ride their bikes?

The cycle path

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ivy7496
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2018
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I accidentally played 'dad' instead of 'dead' when the bear attacked..

Now, it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2020
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I accidentally played 'Dad' instead of 'Dead', when the bear attacked.

Now it can ride a bike without stabilisers.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Going on a 30 mile bike ride

Me: did you fix the brake on my bike? Dad: Give me a break!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/30milesofwhores
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2013
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I accidentally played dad instead of dead when encountering a bear

Now it can ride a bike without training wheels

πŸ‘︎ 98
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pepenaman
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
🚨︎ report

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