Just saw a 3yo cycling in my property.

I'm calling the cops to report a tres-passing

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Allgen
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2021
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I saw plenty of squirrels this morning cycling through the park.

I don't know how they can afford bikes.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2019
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I've been getting the bus to work since I dislocated my thumb and today was my first day cycling again. I was a little nervous...

But thankfully it was just like riding a bike!

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Wronkey360
πŸ“…︎ Jan 21 2019
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Reddit, We are going to start a furniture up-cycling project and are looking for punny names, what can you come up with?

I couldn't come up with any good ones myshelf.

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRationalMan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2014
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French cycling competition
πŸ‘︎ 103
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πŸ‘€︎ u/machine_pun
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2014
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The family and I were watching the Olympic cycling

Stepmum: Wow this is the most exciting event we've had all year!

Me: No it's not, you're just being velodromatic!

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Secretly-a-potato
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2016
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Watching the Olympic track cycling...

My housemate: Do they have brakes?

Me: No, because then somebody would have to remember whereabouts on the track all the cyclists were while they got a bottle of water and a snack.

My housemate: ugh.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kambian
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2016
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I got my friend while talking about my new cycling bib.

He commented that it looked pretty cool, but that my bulge was a bit...distracting.

I responded, "I'm sorry, I can't help it. I'm big boned."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fallabrine
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2015
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Did you hear about the female rapper who only battled when she was on her menstrual cycle?

They say she had a mean flow...

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Imhere4thejokes
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2021
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It's a vicious cycle
πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the-wulv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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What do you call a group of bisexual , bi cycle riding , hiking , Nordic emperors?

BIKINGS

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Schrodingers_liar
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2020
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What do call a bike trail that shows no empathy.

A cycle path.

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tim_breeding
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2021
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Why is it called the β€œmenstrual cycle”?

Because female problems have a tendency to start with β€œmen”.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Dec 13 2020
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So 3 roads walked into a bar

A length of freeway walked into a bar, and yelled out "I'm the meanest bit of road west of the Pesos, nobody wanna mess with me!"

Then some duplicated overpass walked into the bar. "Anybody think they're tough enough to take on this piece of transit infrastructure? Well, are ya?"

Finally a stretch of dual carriageway walked into the bar. "This bad boy is badder than all you weaklings, whaddya gonna do about it!"

As they were all glaring at each other in a Mexican standoff, some bicycle laneway walked into the bar, threw a chair out of the way and kicked over a table. "I'm the roughest, toughest, meanest, baddest piece of asphalt there is! You're all soft snowflakes! Ain't anyone who has the guts to take me on!"

The first three roadways all immediately turned to the bar and started meekly sipping their drinks, trying to look inconspicuous. The bartender asked them "What's the matter, are you going to let him get away with that? Why don't you stand up to him?"

"We aren't going to mess with him", they replied, "He's a real cycle path".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SurfingSherlock
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2021
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What's the difference between a well-dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly-dressed man on a bicycle?

Attire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kdlaz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2021
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God finished creating the 24-hour cycle on Earth...

...with both darkness and light taking turns. He admired his hard work with a smile and a sigh. An angel asked him β€œWhat’s wrong, Lord?” God replied β€œI think I’m gonna call it a day.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Beard_on
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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That cycle is violent.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheRedBlade
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2020
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Which vehicle is part of the LGBTQ community?

The bi-cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derpvboii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Do you know why it's called the "menstrual cycle"?

Because female problems tend to start with "men".

Edit: I'm not a feminist or taking a dig at men. Just making a joke. Also, I'm a man.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Mar 07 2020
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I always fall down from my cycle riding on uneven bumpy roads.

It's a vicious cycle.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnreese421
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2020
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Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge.

It's a viscous cycle.


My family didn't like this nearly as much as the pancakes I was making, sadly.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nemo_sum
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2021
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Life cycle of the male sex drive reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/bapposhallhacko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2019
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My girlfriend wrote an article about the history of the menstrual cycle...

It's a period piece.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2019
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A vicious cycle
πŸ‘︎ 2k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Asmor
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2017
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If a bicycle can't stay up on its own because it's two-tired, then why can a motor cycle stay up?

It's more revved up

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2020
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This Guys a Real Cycle-path
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πŸ‘€︎ u/B0st0n_S0x
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
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What would you call a maniac on a bikeway?

A cycle-path psychopath.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DENelson83
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2021
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The Water Cycle
πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RabbitGuySentMe
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2017
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I avoid bike trails after dark.

They're full of cycle paths.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UserCheckNamesOut
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2021
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Why does the cycle keep falling down?

Because it’s too tired.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ItsYaBoiAbd
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2019
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I was wondering why Popeye keeps scratching himself at Soul Cycle...

Turns out he has a lot of spin itch...

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/changhaobyu
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2019
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If you cycle likes both genders it's a bi-cycle
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Emad_2101
πŸ“…︎ Jul 13 2019
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The Cycle Of Violence
πŸ‘︎ 37
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thumbs0fDestiny
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2018
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Why can't a cycle stand on it's own?

Because it's two tired.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dylandey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2019
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cycle, gyration, reel, revolution, rotation, run, spin, trundling, turn, twirl, undulation, whirl

Synonym roll

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mustdashgaming
πŸ“…︎ Sep 29 2019
🚨︎ report
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm.

He shouts, β€œA beer please! And one for the road!”

πŸ‘︎ 519
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πŸ‘€︎ u/That-Big-Man-J
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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Masturbation addiction is a viscous cycle
πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GeneBelcherFan
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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My wife was making gravy for dinner, and she added some corn starch, but it got too thick. To thin it out she added some water, but then it was too thin again. It went back and forth a few times before I said...

Ahh. I get it. It’s a viscous cycle.

πŸ‘︎ 25
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PocketCornbread
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What do you call a cycle that let’s both men and women ride it?

A bi-cycle

πŸ‘︎ 6
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yeetyboi8787
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2019
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Did you guys know that if a woman's egg isn't fertilized, she'll eject it during her next menstrual cycle?

Sounds like an ovary action to me...

πŸ‘︎ 17
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πŸ‘€︎ u/killyoursins
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Still up for sale?
πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EC097
πŸ“…︎ Mar 15 2019
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Who ever discovered the menstrual cycle...

Should get a standing ovulation.

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/WheresTheWombo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2017
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what, would you say, is the craziest kind of road out there?

my votes for the cycle-path.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ChrisLeePortland
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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So Christian Yelich hit for the Cycle again last night.

I guess you can say he got a Bi-Cycle last night.

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/doctorcockpunch
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2018
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Menstrual cycles are the worst

Period

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/scraggasaur
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
What do the people say about the female rapper on her menstrual cycle?

She had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 29
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πŸ‘€︎ u/BadBooJuJu66
πŸ“…︎ Jan 31 2020
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the female rapper that only battled while she was on her menstrual cycle?

They said she had a mean flow

πŸ‘︎ 19
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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThisEffinGuyz
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2019
🚨︎ report

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