The pain! It hertz!
πŸ‘︎ 410
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sam_3205
πŸ“…︎ Jun 04 2020
🚨︎ report
I heard Hertz is going out of business...

I bet they come back as Painless

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RadGrandpaDragon
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2020
🚨︎ report
My head hertz while currently trying to conduct a title.
πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/conditackler
πŸ“…︎ Nov 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Heinrich Hertz say when he heard a high-pitched sound?

My ear hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GedT1
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
🚨︎ report
My favorite puns are the ones that involve physical harm (ie Hertz Donut)

I guess you could say I like being punished

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jriggs97
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Life Hertz
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/BobberHabber
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Hertz U Drive

The classic "Hertz U-Drive" skit by Abbott & Costello - "Bud Abbott:Β You don’t understand!! It’s Hertz U drive

Lou Costello:Β Well, if it hurts,Β youΒ drive"

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tfraymond
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad asked me if I wanted a Hertz donut...

Back in the 90s, I remember playing some N64 after school when my dad came home from work. He comes into the living room and asks me what's up and, as a teen, I say "nuthin" and keep playing while he just stands there. Out of the corner of my eye, I can see he's looking at me with a stupid grin on his face that's he's trying to suppress poorly. Finally, he asks me to pause the game. I turn to him and he asks "You want a Hertz donut?" I obviously know this joke, but to make it worse, he's already making a fist, ready at his side. I roll my eyes and say "No, I do not want a Hertz donut." He just relaxes his hand and says surprised "Oh, you don't? You sure?" I say I'm sure and he says okay and walks back out to his car, leaving me to return to my GoldenEye. A few seconds later, he comes strolling back in the room, with a box of a dozen donuts in his hand, while he's eating one, with the same stupid grin on his face. On the box of donuts, "Dunkin" has been crudely crossed out and Hertz written beneath it in Sharpie marker. He walks into the kitchen saying "Guess you won't be having these Hertz donuts!" I'm in awe. I follow him into the kitchen and he finally relents and lets me take a donut. I ask him "So, you bought these donuts, and just put this joke together on the way home?" He says he thought of the joke earlier in the day at work and had to buy the donuts for the bit. I start laughing hysterically thinking about him sitting at work itching to leave to pull this off. As we sit there, quietly eating these donuts, he breaks the silence with a mouth full of donut, with "Had to stop at CVS to pick up a Sharpie too." I almost choked on the donut jimmies.

TLDR: Dad offered a Hertz donut, should've taken him up on it.

πŸ‘︎ 41
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PriestPorridge
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2014
🚨︎ report
Who's Dick Hertz?

My dad told me that back in his highschool days (1934), they would write Dick Hertz on the class sign-in sheet whenever they had a substitute teacher. Then when the sub read off the names on the list to find out who was who, no one would answer when the sub read that name, and so the sub would say "Who's Dick Hertz"? And of course, the class would crack up.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FroggyGremlin
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2014
🚨︎ report
Whenever we got a rental car from Hertz at the airport.

Dad: You kids ever had a donut from this place?

Us: No?

Dad says, "well I've got one right here for ya" and proceeds to playfully punch us in the arm while saying "hurts, don't it"?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DryhumpsMcgee
πŸ“…︎ Aug 05 2013
🚨︎ report
Shocking meme!
πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Party-Pupper
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2020
🚨︎ report
Not a dad, but I have a good one

kid: RERErRErerErRerererererEreRerrerereRrErrrErEre!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?
Dad: Calm down! My ears hertz!!!

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dan_Werew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2021
🚨︎ report
With great power comes...

A huge electricity bill.

πŸ‘︎ 513
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/P00PB0YY
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
🚨︎ report
What happens if you punch a frequency

It Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 241
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/itsHR2
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
🚨︎ report
My son told me, β€œThe car manual says that I shouldn’t turn up the stereo to full volume.”

I said, β€œThat’s sound advice.”

πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
I'm having frequent pains lately.

It really Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Kellogs_cereal2
πŸ“…︎ Jan 20 2021
🚨︎ report
Why did the city support the music hall being repurposed as a shopping mall?

Harmonic Re-zone-ance

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Sep 22 2020
🚨︎ report
My neighbor got hit by a rental car.

He said it Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FlintTheDad
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
🚨︎ report
I would tell you a joke about frequency...

... but people always tell me it Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fatalcenturion
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
🚨︎ report
someone insulted me on my monitor's refresh rate,

right where it hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 8k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychoCow1
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Ah!
πŸ‘︎ 2k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dankmonseiur69
πŸ“…︎ Oct 27 2017
🚨︎ report
What does it feel like to get hit by a wave frequency?

It hertz

πŸ‘︎ 59
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShinyBoiTB
πŸ“…︎ Jul 03 2020
🚨︎ report
BREAKING NEWS!

Man gets hit by a rental car.

Says, β€œIt Hertz.”

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Scottspears89
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
🚨︎ report
My freind: no body cares about car rental company jokes

Me: well that Hertz :’(

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/my-pp-el-fuego
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
🚨︎ report
If your mom slaps you with high frequency

It Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 124
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/korabdrg
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the audiologist say after turning up the sound all the way.

Hertz don’t it.

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FastestFetus
πŸ“…︎ Aug 29 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the electrician say about when they get zapped?

"Shockingly, no matter how many times the experience cycles, it still always Hertz."

πŸ‘︎ 22
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Amoura39
πŸ“…︎ Apr 24 2020
🚨︎ report
I got in a fight with frequency the other day

I lost and it still Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 68
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Radish00
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2020
🚨︎ report
Open to see the pun
πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/derimyte
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What did Mr. Frequency say when he stubbed his toe?

"It Hertz!!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/White_Jester
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2020
🚨︎ report
I can’t stand high frequency noises.

It Hertz my ears.

πŸ‘︎ 75
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/FinalCaveat
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2020
🚨︎ report
Why should you never touch an electric fence

Because it hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 201
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Clbull
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2019
🚨︎ report
If I deadarm my brother once a second...

That one hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/zspratt
πŸ“…︎ Jun 03 2020
🚨︎ report
Why are super loud sounds bad for your ears?

It hertz your eardrums

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShyDemonKat
πŸ“…︎ Dec 02 2019
🚨︎ report
I have a joke about electricity

Unfortunately, it’s so bad that it hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dallasboi1992YT
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2019
🚨︎ report
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married.

The ceremony wasn’t much, but the reception was excellent.

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JRBX
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2019
🚨︎ report
What is the frequency of love?

8 Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Feb 14 2020
🚨︎ report
I've decided to give my collection of used batteries away...

Free of charge.

πŸ‘︎ 299
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DrOrgasm
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2017
🚨︎ report
I just touched an electric plug

Now my finger Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Jokadfg
πŸ“…︎ Feb 28 2019
🚨︎ report
What does an electrician experience on his first day of work?

Culture shock

πŸ‘︎ 20
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/KarateChop231
πŸ“…︎ Feb 23 2019
🚨︎ report
What did the soundwave say when it hit a wall?

My head hertz!

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Exonated
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2019
🚨︎ report
Do WiFi puns count?
πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/GunFlame236
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2018
🚨︎ report
I had a dream that I was electrocuted.

I had a dream that I was electrocuted. Even though I know it's not real, it still hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/disasterbats
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Why shouldn't you stay close to a speaker all the time?

Because it hertz your ears!

πŸ‘︎ 27
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/PixlatedTron
πŸ“…︎ Jun 24 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when u have an accident with a rental car?

It Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2020
🚨︎ report
I don't like high-pitched noises.

Listening to them hertz too much.

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/IncompotentCyborg
πŸ“…︎ May 20 2019
🚨︎ report
I got rear-ended by a rental car today

It hertz

πŸ‘︎ 21
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
🚨︎ report
My father just got hit by a rental car

Said everything Hertz

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/weiderman316
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
🚨︎ report
What did the car rental owner said when the pandemic hit?

That Hertz.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nukey56
πŸ“…︎ Apr 05 2020
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.