Pedal Puns

Because it was feeling depressed.

Because it makes my van go.

It turns out she'd seen a bin open like that before.

Because we don’t wants to preserve pedal files.

It takes a screen shot.

You depress me.

Merry Christmas!

Happy holidays!

It sure made playing the piano in the car hard.

He had to stop when he got depressed

Auto-Wah.

He was pedaling too.

Trevor loved tractors. And I mean, really loved tractors. Forget any obsessions or high-level interests you may have, chances are they pale in the face of Trevor’s love for tractors.

Every day Trevor would get up, in his tractor-themed bedroom in his tractor-themed house, with its tractor-themed wallpaper and tractor-themed carpets, and he would make his bed with its tractor-themed duvet and tractor-themed sheets. He would go downstairs in his tractor-themed pajamas into his tractor-themed kitchen, with its tractor-themed tiles and cupboards, and he would eat his breakfast while perusing the latest tractor-themed magazine or annual.

Trevors’s degree in Agricultural Engineering hung on his living room wall, along with a copy of his thesis, which centred around (you guessed it) tractors. The living room was decorated with all sorts of tractor-related trinkets, including die-cast models, paintings and drawings.

The hedges in Trevor’s front garden were trimmed in the shape of tractors. His lawn was vividly decorated with tractor-driving garden gnomes, and his garden furniture was constructed from various parts from vintage tractor designs.

Trevor just had one thing missing from his otherwise tractor-centric life; he had never actually owned, nor driven, a real tractor.

Not for his lack of trying, of course. Trevor had been to many tractor shows over the years, and visited many farms with friends of his, but none of the tractors he had seen had ever been quite right. Trevor was so knowledgeable about tractors that every single one he had come across had possessed some hidden trait that he wasn’t keen on. His first experience of driving a real tractor had to be perfect.

One day, Trevor was flicking through one of his favourite publications, Powertrain Quarterly, when there was a knock at the door. Trevor answered, and it was his friend and fellow tractor enthusiast, Jeff.

Trevor welcomed Jeff in, and over tea and crumpets served on tractor-themed crockery, they discussed the merits of aluminium drawbars and front-end loaders. Eventually Trevor pressed Jeff to explain the reason for his visit.

“Well” said Jeff, “As I’m sure you know the convention comes to town later”.

The convention. Trevor had been thinking of little else the past three weeks. The neighbouring town annually threw a convention for farmers, particularly farmyard machinery. There would be combine harvesters, lawnmowers, and of course, tractors.

“Yes of course” replied Trevor

It's too tired

They're both bi-pedal

Like, get off your pedal-stools.

So I called the phone number listed and said, “I think it’s with your steering wheel.”

He used the boost pedal.

She says I don't ever get her nice things and she deserves to be put on a pedal stool.

A spokesperson

I was running late to my kid's soccer game, so I started to jog. Then I borrowed my brother's bicycle, but I still wasn't going fast enough. So I smashed the window of a fancy SUV, hot-wired it, and slammed down on the gas pedal. Well, that Escaladed quickly.

I walked out to the garage where my dad was working on his motorcycle. Over in the corner I saw two bicycle's .

"Hey dad when did y'all get bicycles?"

"Oh idk when she got those but I told her she can't be riding those around here"

I looked at him puzzled for a second and he says

"Boy it's not legal to be pedaling pussy on the side of the street"

My buddy was asking me for advice on getting some new pedals for his pedalboard but he said he was worried about not having enough space so I sent him this link and said "This pedal should help." https://www.eventideaudio.com/products/stompboxes/reverb/space

Okay I had an idea. So it's a buddy cop show except that the cop is a bike cop and his partner is the bike and the bike is alive and mean.

So then they would do a good cop and bad cop thing and then the good cop would leave the bike alone with the suspect and then come back in and the suspect would be all beat up and saying "DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE WITH THE BIKE AGAIN" and then the cop would be like

well I did warn you that it's a VICIOUS CYCLE

Not anyones dad, but very dadish.

After a few days skiing me and my gf decide to take a walk around a big lake in Switzerland.

GF: Ahh pedalos, i love pedalos. But my legs are to tired to pedal.

Me: Ah, so you a pedalno.

So i was cycling around the garden with no shoes, i went ouch at one point because the pedals dug into my foot.

My nephew goes: "Why did you go ouch?"

Me: "Because bike pedals were not really designed to be used with bare feet"

Brother: "No, they were designed for human feet"

I cracked up laughing, everyone else just groaned.

They pedal their wares.