Sacking Puns

I've got a hunch it may be me

You'll get you sack-squashed.

.....because he only comes once per year.

Cremation or funeral was the correct term.

I felt his presents.

Do human cannonballs get fired?

Do pirates get told to sling their hook's?

Do prostitutes get laid off?

Do trapeze artists get let go?

...because I took a couple of days off.

A cull-de-sack

I couldn't believe it at first but when I got home all the signs were there.

Just because I refused to work on a Sundae!

A BAGette

It was felt.

Now every full moon I turn into a weredoe.

Its a cut-throat business

Said I was a Smartie for throwing out all the ones that looked like Ws...

I've two bulls who just love to fight //
they simply cannot be polite //
Just one needs to breed //
and so I'll proceed //
to castrate the weak one tonight

The procedure is safe, I insist //
if we make the blood flow desist //
to make bleeding halt //
do the "ball somersault" //
and give that whole sack a huge twist

To do this requires no skill //
I'll just need a quite large power-drill //
and a specialized clamp //
to hold on to that champ //
then turn it on fast- what a thrill!

It is clear this device should appeal //
to those who need bulls with less zeal //
I shall name this device //
with a drill and a vise //
the most perfect of names: "Steering Wheel!"

Because he only cums once a year.

'How many letters were there?' There were loads in there!

“That’s what you call a look-out block, you turn around and say LOOK OUT”

Their car breaks down next to a corn field and they decide to run through it as the law is quickly approaching. They stumble upon a barn. Inside they find three burlap sacks and one of them suggests they should each hide inside one. Shortly after, the sherriff and his deputies arrive at the barn. They notice the three sacks. The sheriff kicks the first one containing the brunette and she says "Meow, meow." "Oh it's just a sack of kittens." One of the deputies says. The sherriff kicks the sack where the redhead is hiding and she says "woof, woof." "That's just a sack of puppies" they say. The sherriff kicks the third sack with the blonde inside and she exclaims "Potato, potato."

Arrrr potatoes

An accessory to the crime.

It's in my current account.

A Goldy-smack with a cold sack in a cul de sac, which is more than a bear with beer could bare.

Santa clause

Which I thought was a little rash.

From Dad Joke of the day on facebook.

A blonde, brunette and a red head escape from prison. While running across a field they hear the guards coming and being tired, the red head suggested hiding in some potato sacks they found.

When the guards reached the sacks one kicked the bag containing the red head, she went meow meow. "Just a sack of kittens" said the guard. Then he kicked the brunettes bag, she went woof woof. "Just a bag of puppies". Lastly he kicked the blondes bag and she went potato potato.

He got the sack.

They must be light bulbs!

I don’t know, I don’t have the thyme to find out those spicy details.

The money wasn't great, but he got to keep the tips

Everton have today announced the departure of Ronald koeman.

In his final interview he said, "I'm only koeman, I can only do so much"

Because he only comes once a year.

Because he only comes once a year

Because he only comes once a year.

I also lost April...