My wife was making fun of how many cavities I’ve had over the years...

I replied, β€œPlease stop talking about it. You’re hurting my fillings.”

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jerodsanto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 14 2020
🚨︎ report
My dentist apologized for using wax on my cavity.

No hard fillings.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/5parky
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2020
🚨︎ report
What kinda food can a shark get cavities from?

SWEDISH FISH!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ashtehstampede
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
Today I was waiting have a cavity filled at the dentist when the assistant hands me the smart tv remote to put something on while I wait.

So I say β€œNothing like a little Netflix and drill”

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/reverseinertia
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2018
🚨︎ report
Okay maybe I shouldn't have referred to my kid's dentist appointment as a "cavity search."
πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RonPalancik
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2018
🚨︎ report
Did you hear about the time Al Gore got a cavity?

It was An Inconvenient Tooth.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/_ThatOneGreyFox_
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do orthodox jews get a lot of cavities?

There saliva is extremely Hassidic!

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Moose_Jitsu
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2015
🚨︎ report
Driving my son to the dentist, I asked "Are they going to do a cavity search."

"No," he said. "They already did."

"Tell me more about this dentist."

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/30thirteen
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2016
🚨︎ report
What is a cavity's favorite time?

Tooth-hurty!

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Blade4004
πŸ“…︎ Aug 13 2014
🚨︎ report
What do dentists and security guards have in common?

Cavity searches.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bogtownboy
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it a bad idea to swallow toothpaste?

Because you’ll destroy your stomach cavity!

πŸ‘︎ 16
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/pleing1
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I went to the dentist yesterday...

I went to my dentist yesterday, and after about a half an hour of cleaning and filling I finally could go home. Before I left he stopped me and said,

"Hey man, you better lay off the sweets, you'll get cavities."

I scoffed and replied, "I'll be fine doc."

Today I took a bite into my third chocolate bar and suddenly a jolt of pain shot from my tooth,

"OW MOTHERFU--"

I went to the dentist again, running inside. He turned to me and smirked,

"The tooth hurts, doesn't it?"

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/CatNamedCheete
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2020
🚨︎ report
Jokes I didn't need to hear from my Dad s01e01

My mom had surgery on her arm today. When she got out, my dad was joking with the nurse asking when she'd be able to vacuum, do the dishes, etc. Nurse just rolled her eyes at everything.

My mom in an attempt to curb his joking, said 'By the way, honey, the doctor said no sex for a month'

He responds instantly with 'Okay, what'd the dentist say?'

Took my mom a minute to get it.

πŸ‘︎ 3k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whatevers_clever
πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2015
🚨︎ report
No one in r/jokes appreciates my genius reddit.com/r/Jokes/commen…
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/nabuhabu
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2018
🚨︎ report
There's a train somewhere that takes people directly to the dentist.

It's called the molar express.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/LexaTerkes
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2019
🚨︎ report
What happens when you don’t brush your anus?

You get an anal cavity!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/drewowen_
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2019
🚨︎ report
My dad texts me jokes about once a week. Here are about 30 of my favorites.
  • What's the difference between mononucleosis and herpes? You get mono from snatching kisses.

  • If you were to lose your left arm, you'd be all right.

  • Why can't you hear a pteradactyl going to the bathroom? Because the P is silent.

  • Communists only write in lower-case letters because they hate capitalism.

  • I got a new job at the police sketching pictures of suspects. I'm a con artist.

  • Cat Woman's real name is Catherine Woman.

  • I have a new cat joke. ...Just kitt'en.

  • How do you find Will Smith in the snow? Look for Fresh Prints. *

  • Did you hear about the two men who stole a calendar? They got six months each.

  • I just saw an Apple store get robbed. Does that make me an iWitness?

  • Dwarfs and midgets have very little in common.

  • I'm moving to Seoul. I was told it would be a good Korea move.

  • Did you hear about the professor who was killed in a car accident? He was grading papers on a curve.

  • Why isn't an iPhone charger called Apple Juice?

  • Ever tr

... keep reading on reddit ➑

πŸ‘︎ 268
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WhenIm6TFour
πŸ“…︎ Sep 09 2014
🚨︎ report
My dad hit me with this one during dinner last night

I had gone to the dentist earlier in the day and I had a cavity.

Dad: "So is this your first cavity?"

Me: "No, I had one when I was younger."

Dad: "Okay, so you already know the drill."

Badum tsssss

πŸ‘︎ 296
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SometimessSam
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2014
🚨︎ report
Overheard this while picking up lunch today...

Bought some pizza slices and while I was filling up my drink from the soda fountain, there was a family of four talking about, of all things, medical professions. The daughter at the table said she thought a proctologist was basically a pervert since they'd be focused on butts all day every day.

The mom explained that you wouldn't call a heart surgeon who uses tools to literally crack open a person's chest cavity and muck around with things a serial killer, so why would you call a doctor who specializes in proctology a pervert?

The dad then chimed in "No that's not right... a serial killer is someone who uses Captain Crunch to murder another person!"

Silence at the table, and the daughter groaned rather loudly. I happened to make eye contact with the dad and just smirked and nodded, which made him beam, and walked out the door to hear him say "Right? Right guys?"

Well done, sir.

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/redditaccount314
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2015
🚨︎ report
Dad joked the old man himself.

My dad learned he has some kind of cyst in his sinus cavity and was told to avoid getting removed immediately. When he told me this I replied "So you should recyst getting it removed?". We both chuckled a little longer than we should have.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JonerThrash
πŸ“…︎ May 01 2014
🚨︎ report
While cleaning fish one day....

My dad is a all around generally funny guy but for me one of the funniest things he said to me was once while he was cleaning a bunch of fish he had caught. I was watching with wonderment how quickly he was going through the catfish he had caught that day. He was very seriously removing the head and skining them and gutting the fish. He had one particular fish's head on the cutting board seperated from the body and he had the completely gutted body of the fish in one hand and the garden hose in the other. He was running water on the inside cavity of the fish and the tail was twitching back and forth, he noticed my amusement at this and said to me with a sly grin,"they don't like that cold water on their belly." This may be one of those you had to be there moments but I thought it was hilarious at the time.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Elliott70
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.