Look, sometimes you have to call a spayed a spayed.
No matter what happens with the economy, their business always seems to be picking up.
Hashtag nofilter
When my family asked me if I was okay, I didn’t have the heart to tell them no.
Edit. I can’t change the title but I’ve decided to word it differently:
My heart got ripped out earlier today.
Completely stumped.
They were post-tit notes.
I'm gonna call it "GET IT OFF YOUR CHEST"!
I don’t want to go nuts right away.
It was completely remarkable!
The slogan will be "We'll do asbestos we can"
And I haven't looked back since.
What Were You Inking?
"A know it all patient is trying to tell the surgeon how to do everything. The surgeon throws up his hands and says 'Suture yourself!'"
(Suit yourself)
Cue eye rolling from me and my mom...
It was an unpheasant task
Original post in link above.
.. Only got 20%Off
I'm really annoyed about this because now my fence has fallen over....
I've just used an old discount card I found in my wallet, but I only got 20% off....
[removed]
That was very demolarising
I walk kinda funny now but my farts smell great!
Me; What?
To be honest this is pretty demolarizing
Me Why?
Because he was afraid of Capitalism!
Can someone tell me why my post was removed?
I'm a bit annoyed about this as it caused my fence to fall over
Hopefully I'll C Major improvement!
Asbestos you can
It's bonded, James Bond-ed
So I have an uncle, once removed.
My dog was delighted.
Ten ants.
Someone took a fence.
He didn’t mean to, he did it acciDENTALly
Seven. If you you remove the S it becomes even.
Heard from my nine year old three minutes ago.
I’ve never been more proud.
Dic-traitor
He called it the Pile Driver.
That they've taken a fence!
Unfortunately, the doctor cut a little too deep and the man's organs began to spill out onto the operating table....
...
...
"Well, it looks you have a table of contents now" says the medical assistant.
Haven't looked back since.
You still have Gravy
Was told that it had to go because it might cause a fence.
..and it was so delicious.
Until I fell into a printing press.
It's only holding me back.
People are just dying to get in
Remove the “s”.
I can repost it for you, just give me some time.
There once was this fella was born with a silver screw in his belly button. His parents, and later himself, searched far and wide trying to find someone that knew how this happened and how to remove it. As he grew older he cared less and less about the "how" and more about the removal. One day in his never-ending search he encountered a wizened woman who said that she knew of a place where you could go and a mysterious force would be able to remove the screw. But, before she provided the location she asked him if this was REALLY something he wanted done and if he knew all the consequences of his desire. The man hastily said that he was 10000% sure and more than well informed of the consequences. So, she gave him the location of the cave and the instructions on how to gain the help of the mysterious force. He was to go to the cave and sleep nude in the cave over night and by the morning his request would be fulfilled. He made his way to the spot with all due haste and followed the instructions to the letter. He did this and fell into a sound sleep. During the night a heavy fog rolled into the cave and a shining silver screwdriver floated into the cave with it. It floated down to the man and gently removed the screw. When the man woke up in the morning and saw the screw on the ground beside him he quickly reached down and felt his belly button. The screw was gone! He sprung up with great joy but the minute he landed after his leap of joy his butt fell off. He froze in horror and started to scream "Why did my butt fall off?" over and over.
The moral of the story is "Don't mess with things you don't understand or you will lose your butt."
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Is it disorganised?
Me why?
Someone took a fence
