"Cannot withdrawal, insufficient puns."
It suffered from withdrawals.
I really need some change in my life
I refuse to let them receive anything less than a first class education.
Me: "That's because it transports money going through withdrawals."
She hated that one so much I nearly wept with joy.
Dealing with the withdrawals...
I suffer from withdrawals.
I get cash withdrawals.
Me (bank teller): "Hi, what can I do for you?"
Customer: "I'd like to make a deposit and if you could withdrawal some warm weather and deposit the cold I'd be happy with that too!"
The man then looked down at his kid who was grinning from ear to ear and gave him a high five. Had a nice chuckle after that one.
So I was at a friend's wedding yesterday (her last name actually was Friend) but anyway, it was a really fancy wedding on a boat. Well another friend (not related to the Friends) and I were sitting down waiting for things to start when I realized that I forgot to take my medicine that morning. I explained to friend 2 that one of the withdrawal symptoms is extreme dizziness and that soon I wouldn't be able to tell whether the water was rough or if it was just my medicine. A few minutes later, friend 2 looked to me and said, "You know, I think I'm in the same boat as you. I forgot to take my medicine this morning too." To which I replied, "You are in the same boat as me."
My family (Canadian) were talking about the PGA and the golfer Dustin Johnson became the subject of discussion. For anyone who doesn't follow golf, Johnson has come under some scrutiny lately for:
Failing drug tests, leading him to withdraw from the PGA tour.
Allegedly cheating on his girlfriend Paulina Gretzky (daughter of the hockey player Wayne Gretzky)
My dad then cracks this one:
"Looks like he's no longer in the PG, eh?"