rick ash-tree
"Ma'am you son dried "
I yelled out, "Oasis!"
Edit: My first ever attempt at a dad joke, and i never thought i would get anywhere this much upvotes. Thank y'all so much!
Carat Cake
I really made a mesa things though.
Camelbert!
They were dunesday preppers.
With camelflage!
Camelflage
"Can I ask you something?" I said.
"Certainly," he replied.
I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"
It wasn’t a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush
Tumble weed
I usually toast my sand Witches.
They both have Sandy Claws.
A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.
A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.
The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.
The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"
"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.
The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."
..then I probably wouldn't bother going.
Dry humor
Whilst gathering food, they find a magical golden lamp. The Englishman says “rub the lamp!” They do, and a genie appears. “I only have three wishes to offer,” he says, “so I’ll give you one wish each.
The Englishman says, “I’d like to be living in a penthouse in London with £1,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.
The Scotsman says “I’d love to live in a renovated Scottish castle with £2,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.
The genie then turns to the Irishman: “And what do you wish for?” The Irishman says to the genie, “It’s getting a bit lonely here, can I have the other two back?”
Because of all the sand-which is there.
Is a trope-ical plant.
In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.
Inflation
because of the sand which is there.
The barman says "long time no sea."
He replied, ‘Me car door. That way, if I get hot, I can just roll me window down.’
He wanted a change of Korea
It didn't help me one bit!!!!
The individual male Warlocks, try as they might, could not master the art of bringing back their counterparts and all seemed lost.
Then, two young Warlocks found that, by working together - one recreating the body while the other recreated the soul - they could bring them back to life from the very sand they died in.
It's crazy but they could finish each other's Sand Witches.
When I find out who took it there's going to be hell toupee!
Starting fires are easy since each of them will always have a match!
The mouse looks behind him and says to the elephant, “look how much dust we’re making!”
They're always up to something
She might as well be Egyptian.
When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.
The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"
The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"
One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"
*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.
Because of all the sand which is there.
