what do you call a tree that will never give you up, never let you down, never gonna run around and desert you?

rick ash-tree

πŸ‘οΈŽ 20
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/imboredwithlyf
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 14 2020
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A man is found dead in the desert. Cause of death appeared to be dehydration. The police go to his mother's house.

"Ma'am you son dried "

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/fighting_astronaut
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 16 2020
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I ran into my sibling while exploring the Sahara Desert.

I yelled out, "Oasis!"

Edit: My first ever attempt at a dad joke, and i never thought i would get anywhere this much upvotes. Thank y'all so much!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/redneckvet
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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What is a jeweler's favorite desert?

Carat Cake

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 04 2020
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For my diorama, I tried to make a few desert elevations...

I really made a mesa things though.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thomasbrakeline
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 16 2020
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What is a desert nomad's favorite cheese?

Camelbert!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Thesaurususaurus
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 28 2020
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Did you hear about the couple getting ready for a day in the desert?

They were dunesday preppers.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/batmanshsu
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 10 2020
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How do you hide a horse in the desert?

With camelflage!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 69
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dusty_Scrolls
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 07 2020
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How do soldiers stay hidden in the desert?

Camelflage

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Blisspoint2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 21 2020
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After finishing my meal, the waiter gave me the desert menu.

"Can I ask you something?" I said.

"Certainly," he replied.

I said, "Why did you just eat my food?"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 147
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 17 2020
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Two cowboys are lost in the desert when one sees a tree draped in bacon. He yells β€œit’s a bacon tree” then runs to it and is shot up with bullets

It wasn’t a bacon tree it was a Ham Bush

πŸ‘οΈŽ 19
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Texgymratdad
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2020
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What kind of drugs do people in the desert do?

Tumble weed

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/flippantteacup
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 08 2020
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How do you get rid of a Witch in the desert?

I usually toast my sand Witches.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VeryOriginalName98
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2020
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What do Christmas and a cat in the desert have in common?

They both have Sandy Claws.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tea4tiffany_
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 28 2020
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Two vegans were travelling through a desert...

A few weeks into their journey, they ran out of food. Unable to find plants to eat, and after an entire day of discussion, they decided that if they found meat before plants, the would eat it.

A day later, in the distance, they saw a small tree. As they got closer, they saw that there were strips of perfectly cooked bacon hanging from the bare limbs.

The first vegan grew excited. "Look! It's a bacon tree! Food!" And with that, he took off running toward it.

The other vegan hung back, looking at it suspiciously. "No, wait!" he called. "That's not a bacon tree!"

"Sure it is! It's a bacon tree!" the first vegan yelled over his shoulder. When he reached the tree, he jumped, trying to reach the bacon from the lower branches, but before he could, a pair of wild boar darted out from behind the tree and skewered him on their tusks.

The other vegan shook his head. "I tried to tell you it wasn't a bacon tree. It was just a hambush..."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/VA_DiagSexAddict
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 12 2020
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If I could just bring one thing with me to a remote deserted Island..

..then I probably wouldn't bother going.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/HugoZHackenbush2
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 10 2020
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What do you call a joke about a desert

Dry humor

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/oxygenatedair66
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman are stranded on desert island.

Whilst gathering food, they find a magical golden lamp. The Englishman says β€œrub the lamp!” They do, and a genie appears. β€œI only have three wishes to offer,” he says, β€œso I’ll give you one wish each.

The Englishman says, β€œI’d like to be living in a penthouse in London with Β£1,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The Scotsman says β€œI’d love to live in a renovated Scottish castle with Β£2,000,000 in my bank account.” His wish is granted.

The genie then turns to the Irishman: β€œAnd what do you wish for?” The Irishman says to the genie, β€œIt’s getting a bit lonely here, can I have the other two back?”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LTAD2108
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 20 2020
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You won't ever starve In the desert

Because of all the sand-which is there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dilborg
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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A coconut tree in a deserted island

Is a trope-ical plant.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/keyrover
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 29 2020
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Three things Christ promises he will never do: Won't leave you broken-hearted (Psalm 147:3), won't reject you (John 6:37), and won't leave you nor forsake you (Hebrews 13:5).

In essence, Jesus is never gonna give you up, never gonna let you down, never gonna run around and desert you.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BillyBob_TX
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 25 2020
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Ghandi spent a lot of time walking through the desert, so his feet hurt and he was always thirsty and weak. It's also very hard to brush your teeth in the desert.

He was a super calloused fragile mystic with extra halitosis.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/JEJoll
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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Two cowboys are lost in the desert. One cowboy sees a tree that’s draped in bacon. β€œA bacon tree ! We’re saved!” He says. He runs to the tree and is shot up with bullets. /r/Jokes/comments/i7puax/…
πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/brainstormer77
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2020
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Remember when air was free at the gas station, now it’s $1.50. You know why?

Inflation

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mycorona69
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2020
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A starving tribe marched their way to the desert to get food

because of the sand which is there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RoastingNoodles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 25 2020
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The Sahara desert walks into a bar.

The barman says "long time no sea."

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BookerGinger
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
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An Irishman was asked what one thing would he take with him to a desert?

He replied, β€˜Me car door. That way, if I get hot, I can just roll me window down.’

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BerthaAndHerPinkBits
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 12 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the Doctor desert to Kim Jong-Un’s regime?

He wanted a change of Korea

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mushroomsforlife
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 08 2020
🚨︎ report
What jokes are funniest in the desert?

Dry humor.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 11
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Sir_Pluses
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 28 2020
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I was out in the desert on psychedelics , and I started tripping way too hard. So I took an acid reducer.

It didn't help me one bit!!!!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/S0undJunk1e
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 08 2020
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Many years ago, all the female Warlocks perished in the desert.

The individual male Warlocks, try as they might, could not master the art of bringing back their counterparts and all seemed lost.

Then, two young Warlocks found that, by working together - one recreating the body while the other recreated the soul - they could bring them back to life from the very sand they died in.

It's crazy but they could finish each other's Sand Witches.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 146
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/techKnowGeek
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 20 2019
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Someone stole my hairpiece

When I find out who took it there's going to be hell toupee!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 17
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/rett72
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 27 2020
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Rick Astley will never give it to you, so be careful.
πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/spelan1
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 14 2020
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What is sweet and walks in the desert?

A Caramel

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/franzeyyz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 22 2019
🚨︎ report
The best thing about being on a deserted island with a pair of twins?

Starting fires are easy since each of them will always have a match!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 15
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 27 2020
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What’s America’s favorite animal ?

A desert eagle

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/DudSteeple
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 01 2020
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A mouse and an elephant are running together through the desert

The mouse looks behind him and says to the elephant, β€œlook how much dust we’re making!”

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/maianotmia
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 05 2020
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I don't trust stairs

They're always up to something

πŸ‘οΈŽ 60
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Dionysus03
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 08 2020
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What do you call a penguin in the desert?

Lost!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/td941
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 20 2019
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My girlfriend’s mom is so deep in denial.

She might as well be Egyptian.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/RicanSlayer
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 05 2020
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A man is starving in the desert and sees a bacon tree in the distance.

When he makes it over to the tree, a robber steps out and points a gun at him.

The man says, "whoa, I just wanted some of the bacon from the bacon tree!"

The robber grunts and says, "This ain't no bacon tree. This is a hambush!"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 12
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WERE_A_BAND
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 06 2019
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Two very hungry men were wandering the desert when they see a bacon tree.

One runs up to eat the bacon, when all of the sudden he starts getting shot at from out of nowhere. He yells to his friend, "watch out! It's not a bacon tree. It's a hambush!"

*Borrowed from a friend who is very much dad material.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 56
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Phizzwizard
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 11 2019
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Why don't you starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/death-to-turtles
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Why is it you will never starve in the desert?

Because of all the sand which is there.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 18
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/shdchko
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 26 2019
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