Breast reduction surgery.

A massive weight off her shoulders.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ‘€︎ u/Dirty-Slippers
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09
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I asked the librarian if they had any books on Noise Reduction Levels

She said "Sure, what volume ?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Why do they sell red wine reduction in stock pots?

Because doing it yourself is a paste of wine.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/Joe4nna
πŸ“…︎ Oct 05 2020
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My wife just got a breast reduction surgery done and the doctor slapped a couple pieces of paper across her nipples that had bandage removal tips...

They were post-tit notes.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/timmyb55
πŸ“…︎ Feb 12 2020
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My car has a great noise reduction system, but my wife?

You can’t muffler.

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ‘€︎ u/boogerknows
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2019
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Just got breast reduction surgery

Feels good to get the weight off my chest.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/popothemuffin
πŸ“…︎ May 31 2019
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Master of Reduction.
πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2018
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[REQUEST] Anyone know any good puns about breast reductions?

My mom is having breast reduction surgery and laughter is the best medicine!

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ‘€︎ u/KatharticHymen
πŸ“…︎ Sep 26 2015
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Well, I finally went through with that penis reduction surgery.

It's been too long.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/Is_it_really_art
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2017
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As the disgraced saucier was forced out of his former kitchen, he threatened impotently:

"you will roux the day!!!"

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/berninicaco3
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30
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A List of Puns (and other excuses for good humor)

Me: You got the goods?

Dealer: I have an alloy of iron and carbon for only $1.

Me: My, what a steel!

Guy: Hey, wanna hear my joke?

Boxer: I dunno, man. People always say I ruin their punchline.

Teacher: What are the four components of DNA?

Student: Actually, there are five: Adenine, cytosine, guanine, thymine--

Teacher: Oh? And the fifth one?

Student: I got I got I got I got...

Me (metric): Why does America use the imperial system? It's stupid.

Friend (imperial): Actually, other places use the imperial system.

Me: Which other places?

Friend: The Galactic Empire.

Guy: I hate spam.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.

Me: I like sushi.


Someone: Son of a gun...

Someone Else: Now you've just pistoled me off!

Okay, I know these are not the greatest puns ever, but this is my first post in this subreddit. Anyway, now here are the explanations:

Joke 1 - An alloy of carbon and iron is popularly referred to as steel, and stainless steel costs $2.41, in which the item receives a 58.51% reduction in cost, which is a mighty bargain, also known as a steal.

Joke 2 - Boxing is a sport in which your only goal is to knock your opponent out through a series of punches. The ending or twist of a joke is commonly referred to as the punchline of said joke.

Joke 3 - Check out Kendrick Lamar's DNA song.

Joke 4 - Troops and personnel of the Galactic Empire from Star Wars are commonly referred to as the Imperials.

Joke 5 - Spam musubi, or just spam, is a type of sushi. On the internet, spam is referred to as the repetition of a specific message, especially when emailing, to annoy or advertise a product/website to someone.

Joke 6 - The phrase, "Son of a gun", is a friendlier alternative to the phrase, "Son of a bitch!" Also, when you annoy someone, that means that you pissed them off, which sounds a bit like "pistoled".

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ‘€︎ u/U2BURR
πŸ“…︎ Jul 06 2019
🚨︎ report
Hi Hungry, it's Dad. I have an important update for you.

Starting on the 1st of December and running until the 10th, /r/dadjokes will be self-post only. This 10 day trial is being conducted to measure the overall effect on post quality. We hope to see a reduction in posts that exist purely for karma-gaming, and an increase in posts that represent our favourite dad jokes and stories.

This is not a ban on images. You may still link to pictures within your self-post - but you will no longer receive karma for doing so. Also as a suggestion try and be witty about it, don't just post pictures as the only content in the post. If there is a story behind it (involving your dad or anyones dad) then give that more of a preference and use the picture as a supporting arm for the joke, remember to be nice and the punnier the better.

As always, we're open to hearing your thoughts on the matter - and this thread will be stickied for the 10 days so that you can pop in and let us know how you feel the trial is going.

πŸ‘︎ 272
πŸ‘€︎ u/parin89
πŸ“…︎ Nov 30 2013
🚨︎ report
I replaced all the air vents in my house with smaller ones.

It was a reduction.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/faireduvelo
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2018
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I just have a question

What is the going flat-rate for breast reduction surgery?

πŸ‘︎ 38
πŸ“…︎ Apr 14 2013
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Triple Whammy Dad Joke
  • Young Brother: Dad, if I went to the hospital, would it be free?

  • Dad: Is what free? Are you getting a burger?

  • Young Brother: No, I mean a procedure.

  • Dad: What kind of procedure?

  • Young Brother: An unnecessary one.

  • Dad: What? Like a breast reduction? Penis enlargement?

  • Brother 0, Dad 3.

EDIT formatting, clarified that brother is young

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ‘€︎ u/tapeball
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2014
🚨︎ report
Dadjokes in Chem class

So, we learned about redox reactions in Chemistry yesterday, and the professor had said how the molecules in a redox reaction were called the reductant and the oxidant.

Well, at the end of class, I asked the prrofessor, "So, is it good if my mom tells me I was her favorite oxidant?" Thankfully, the professor laughed, and I got a groan out of someone that was on their way out the door but overheard me.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ‘€︎ u/danmo_96
πŸ“…︎ Nov 01 2014
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